for christmas I would like my life back in order (slight bit of a blog/rant)....

scorpionldr · Dec 15, 2006

So here I am, 10 minutes before 3:30 in the morning, writing to all of you. A couple things in my life these days have been bothering me. 1 is my weight. I've gained about a hundred and five pounds in the past three years of attending college. I've been trying to work out in my spare time with walking and some simple cardio work but nothing seems to be making a dent. I'm 295 and 6'1. Any good ideas for workouts would help. I hear that I have to lose weight first before I begin actually lifting weights for my body, is this true?

My second deal is finding my passion in music again. these days it's been a hard life going to school to become a music educator in the program. I've finally admitted to myself i need to go from 18 credits to about 13 in order to get some sort of break where I am eating and sleeping on a regular amount on a consistant basis. I play the sax, and lately I've been hearing I'm mediocre but I can improve with practice. problem with this semester is i've been doing everything but sleeping, eating, and practicing on a regular basis consistantly....dont have any idea what advice any of you guys can give me; i wasn't really expecting any. the one good thing that I can say in terms of my music is that my band that was broken up previously after three years of trying to get out of the basement is reuniting soon.

Finally, I'm getting over heartbreak. I had my first relationship at 22 (my current age, and it was a month, ended saturday), and I dated a disabled 19 year old girl who suffered a stroke from teh age of 9. after we lasted about a month, she told me she didn't think i was really able to get my head around the stroke, or rather, just completely ignore it. for those that care she lost control of the right half of her body and in the past 10 years she's been working to get back her right side and has been working to try and get the last bit of her working, her right arm from the elbow down. I've talked to her and it seems that the problem is just the stroke, but somehow i was better in all other areas.....it doesn't matter by now, she took an ex hat she was missing over me, and that doesn't bother me. she did however destroy me with the breakup.....this week has been the hardest of my life as my muscles just were determined to stop working for my body and all i wanted out of life was sleep.

what is bothering me is these days i just don't know how to meet people. I don't want to gravitate online much anymore as I've been doing it a long time. It doesn't bother me so much as I discovered just how good things were with me and her in person, but now I have to keep on doing that. I want to jump right back into the dating scene to find any other peopple i can. anyone got good ideas other than just joining dating scenes/services to meet people on the outside or people that want to get out from behind the computer like me?
thanx for all that took the time to read this.

DarthGrinn · Dec 15, 2006

I hope you can sort it out Scorpionldr. You seem like a very sweet and sensitive guy, and I can relate to a lot of the issues you are going through. I don't really have any direct advice to give seeing as we are only two years apart in age (I just turned 24) but I can relay some personal experiences.

I'm suffering from lack of sleep myself, I blame it on my work schedule (24/7, on call all the time). Such is the life of a freelance web designer. I know I have to get it together, but it just seems easy to park my ass in front of my PC and work...

I'm not sure that it's mandatory to to lose weight before pumping iron. I was taught that the best way to lose weight is to pump iron. The idea is, the increase in muscle mass will cause your body to need more calories to sustain it. So the more calories you need, the more fat your body ends up burning. So if you lift weights, and keep your diet regulated, you'll end up losing weight.

Light cardio on its own won't do it. You can always incorporate some cardio into the workout to help keep your lungs and heart healthy; but I don't think you will burn enough calories from cardio alone to induce weight-loss. Don't take my word for it though (I may have it all wrong). Please let me know if you find out otherwise.

I used to work out 3 times a week, lifting weights. But since I started working, that has been reduced to once a week 🙁 not enough to really make much improvements but I'm maintaining what I have. I'm not overweight and I'm pretty strong, but I've set my sights on getting that LL Cool J figure 😛 What I do notice is that I sleep a lot better on the day I workout. I get so physically fatigued that I can't help but lay down; so maybe it's a good idea to balance the hectic work schedule with a hard workout as time allows?

It's hard having a hobby while being a full-time anything; unless you are a shrewd time juggler. I'll admit I have to work on managing my time better, but after pushing 12+ hrs at the computer, my brain will not tolerate anything other than food and sleep 😛 I'll let ya know if I'm able to figure out a new schedule that works for me...

Breakups suck. And socializing is hard to do when you're out of practice. I can tell ya this; you have to force yourself and take the plunge. It will be awkward at first, and you will feel like a total dork for the first few hangouts; but you'll work through it and end up with a bunch of friends and a renewed social life. I've been through this myself, and I'm tellin you it's totally worth going through the wringer for.

But here's the kicker; it's all in you mind. If you're good at hiding your emotions, and can put up a front that gives you a cool and collect exterior, nobody will notice how dorky you feel. Just surround urself with a bunch of really nice and cool people, and get used to hanging out and talking to people IRL again.

Eventually you'll get over the breakup, you will miss her though. I still think about my ex; I have some fond memories of her that I will always treasure. I guess its part of human nature...

Good luck bro.

Celtic_Emperor · Dec 15, 2006

scorpionldr said:
Any good ideas for workouts would help. I hear that I have to lose weight first before I begin actually lifting weights for my body, is this true?

Its true and then its not. Its true because having less weight means less taxation on your body during workouts. Its not true because lifting weights while still maintaining the same diet, eating, and sleeping habits are not going to balance things out. Although, its equally important that you don't attempt to lift too much too soon, either, in any case. It has to be gradual. If you were previously inactive, it is not recommended you start with the weights because you muscles may have suffered some atrophy. The stress of your weight on your body is only going to be made worse if you try to do more than your body is currently capable of handling.

I'd suggest you create for yourself a new diet regiment and adapt to it, as you work out to lose the weight. I know this seems obvious, but if you're only looking to work-out to lose the weight, its going to take longer, and your results may not be satisfactory.

scorpionldr said:
My second deal is finding my passion in music again. these days it's been a hard life going to school to become a music educator in the program. I've finally admitted to myself i need to go from 18 credits to about 13 in order to get some sort of break where I am eating and sleeping on a regular amount on a consistant basis. I play the sax, and lately I've been hearing I'm mediocre but I can improve with practice. problem with this semester is i've been doing everything but sleeping, eating, and practicing on a regular basis consistantly....dont have any idea what advice any of you guys can give me; i wasn't really expecting any. the one good thing that I can say in terms of my music is that my band that was broken up previously after three years of trying to get out of the basement is reuniting soon.

You keep mentioning the eating and sleeping habits. This may be the root of your problem. Getting too much or too little of sleep can affect you in many different ways, so I'd look into taking care of your physical needs before you pursue the band or the credits. If you take care of you first, you'll be more healthy mental, physically, and spiritually. You'll be refreshed and renewed and ready to get back into the swing of things.

scorpionldr said:
Finally, I'm getting over heartbreak.

Good.

scorpionldr said:
I had my first relationship at 22 (my current age, and it was a month, ended saturday), and I dated a disabled 19 year old girl who suffered a stroke from teh age of 9. after we lasted about a month, she told me she didn't think i was really able to get my head around the stroke, or rather, just completely ignore it. for those that care she lost control of the right half of her body and in the past 10 years she's been working to get back her right side and has been working to try and get the last bit of her working, her right arm from the elbow down. I've talked to her and it seems that the problem is just the stroke, but somehow i was better in all other areas.....it doesn't matter by now, she took an ex hat she was missing over me, and that doesn't bother me. she did however destroy me with the breakup.....this week has been the hardest of my life as my muscles just were determined to stop working for my body and all i wanted out of life was sleep.

Again with the sleep and feeling fatiqued. Dude, you really need to take care of your health more, even if it means focusing just on it for a while.

Unless you explain the nature of the breakup in more detail, I don't think anyone can say anything other than that they're sorry to hear it and hope you find someone new.

My suggestion to you is to take the time you had with her and consider it experience, a lesson, and a memory. Wish her well in her recover and respect her decision to leave you.

scorpionldr said:
what is bothering me is these days i just don't know how to meet people. I don't want to gravitate online much anymore as I've been doing it a long time. It doesn't bother me so much as I discovered just how good things were with me and her in person, but now I have to keep on doing that. I want to jump right back into the dating scene to find any other peopple i can. anyone got good ideas other than just joining dating scenes/services to meet people on the outside or people that want to get out from behind the computer like me?
thanx for all that took the time to read this.

You're spreading your efforts and more importantly, your energy, too thinnly (no pun intended). I think you are trying to accomplish more than you can right now and are trying too hard to find a companion. You know, you don't have to be in a romantic relationship or a relationship at all to have a companion. A guy can be your companion. If you have any friends at school, try and hang out with them more. I think you'll find its a sense of belonging and wanting to be needed by someone that you're after, not really romance. Although, you may disagree with me, and thats fine. I just feel that, in your current state of mind and body, you're trying to hard to fill a void you're not ready to fill. You're vulnerable right now and you know that you deserve better than this. But this doesn't mean jumping right back into a relationship, necessary.

Focus on making a better you. If you're a religious person at all, pray to God for guidance and resolve. Focus on helping the circumstances of your life, not losing them to life.