For Neutron - a physics joke...

[Strelnikov]

Every Friday afternoon, a physicist goes down to the bar, sits in the second-to-last seat, turns to the last seat, which is empty, and asks a girl who isn't there if he can buy her a drink. The bartender, who is used to weird university types, always shrugs but keeps quiet. But when Valentine's Day arrives, and the physicist makes a particularly heart-wrenching plea into empty space, curiosity gets the better of the bartender, and he says, "I apologize for my stupid questions, but surely you know there is NEVER a woman sitting in that last stool. Why do you persist in asking out empty space?"

The physicist replies, "Well, according to quantum physics, empty space is never truly empty. Virtual particles come into existence and vanish all the time. You never know when the proper wave function will collapse and a girl might suddenly appear there."

The bartender raises his eyebrows. "Really? Interesting. But couldn't you just ask one of the girls who comes here every Friday if you could buy HER a drink? Never know --she might say yes."

The physicist laughs. "Yeah, right -- how freaking likely is THAT to happen?"



Strelnikov

 

[Neutron]

BWAHAHAHAHA

BWHAHAHAHA

 

[shark]

A scientist is studying frogs.
He tells the frog to jump,which it does.
He cuts off one leg and tells the frog to jump again.It does,but not as far.
He cuts of another leg and tells the frog to jump,which it does,but not as far again.
Continuing this,he finally cuts off the frog's last leg and tells it to jump.
When the frog just sits there,the scientist notes that cutting a frog's legs off makes it go deaf.

 

[kurchatovium]

A proton walks into a bar and asks the bartender "I lost an electron in here. Have you seen it?". The bartender replies "Are you sure you lost it in here?". The proton responds "Yes, I'm positive.".

Hahahahahaha, love those bar jokes.

 

[kurchatovium]

A neutron walks into a bar and asks the bartender for a drink.
The bartender replies "We don't get many elementary particles in here?". The neutron replies "Hmmmph at these prices I'm not surprised.".

I fished this virtual joke out of empty space. Hope you like it Neutron.

 

[Neutron]

Yet Another BWAHAHAHAHA

LOLOLOLOLOLOLOL By the wayt Kurchatov was an interesting man. Kruschev believed Kurchatov was the Soviet Man Of The Century and NOT just for his work on their bomb.

Tron

 

[guitman69]

I posted this one awhile ago, but I think it fits in with this thread:

A Sodium atom walks into a bar and sits down at one end. It sees a Chlorine atom sitting at the other end. The Sodium atom immediately jumps up and rushes at the Chlorine atom and smashes into it. They were later arrested for 'a salt'.

 

[kurchatovium]

I thought you might like to know Neutron since you are a nuclear engineer. My college analytical chemistry professor always use to joke around and say "Lets say you wish to determine the amount of kurchatovium in your frog legs sample. How would you do it?" or "How could we determine the purity of our kurchatovium tetrafluoroborate sample?". Later on I figured out that it wasn't an entirely made up name. Element 104 was discovered in Dubna, Russia (USSR at the time) and the Soviets first wanted the name kurcahtovium (Ku) for the element. A group in Berkely insisted on rutherfordium (Rf) after Ernest Rutherford. A battle insued and some neutral groups proposed the name unnilquadium which never really took root. At the present I think rutherfordium is what is listed on almost all periodic charts I ever see, however in the Russia they might still list it as kurchatovium. Element 105 is listed as Dubnium though in honor Dubna research facility in Russia.

Now you now the origin of ole kurchatovium. Exciting isn't it.