Tom Tickle
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Fox Sisters: The Interviews
Your humble interviewer has been allowed back to the Fox mansion (just west of Salisbury, Wiltshire – don’t try it, they have electric fences supplied by a megawatt-level generator) to quiz the girls about their lifestyles, opinions and idiosyncrasies. Not only that, but we have been given a chance to speak to the project leader himself, Doctor Frank Featherfinger.
First up, the scarlet fox, Nina. At 5’7’’, she is the shortest of the three, but the eldest. She is half-sister to her younger siblings, with her father being a Scottish Army officer. Her lighter skin and green eyes also set her apart from Lucy and Barbara, but her body and predilection for exposing ample amounts of bosom remain the same, with two healthy promontories of mallowy boob riding up beyond her neckline. Her waist is slighter thicker than that of her sisters, but she doesn’t pretend to be a ‘neurotic bean eater’, and says men still clamour for her generous curves.
I get the impression she is quick witted, with a little pre-interview banter displaying a wry sense of humour, and no banter is free from the customary playfulness but sadly, I insist on pressing on with the questions, if she is to catch her train to London.
So, first of all, what’s your favourite meal you like to cook?
I’ve never been a great cook. The other two are quite happy in the kitchen, so I usually let them get on with it. I do cook occasionally, but nothing amazing… probably one of those little pizzas you get. So I generally have the cooking ability of a single thirtysomething guy… (laughs).
If you’re out with friends, and want a quick bite to eat, where would you go?
Probably a coffee shop that doe paninis and stuff. we might sit down somewhere, but usually a sandwich will do.
What is your favourite type of take-away food, and what do you order?
Ooh, that’s a toughy. I’m terrible at cooking, so I’m often tempted to just order something. I tend not to go for fast food like burgers, but there are points when I just say ‘sod it’, and go to the drive thru… although, I’m quite happy with a nice curry or Thai take away. I usually have something mild.
What’s your favourite kind of restaurant for a special occasion?
Well, again, as long as it’s decent food, then I’m okay with a nice banquety-type event in a curry house… or a really nice Chinese restaurant.
What drink do you order from the bar?
Malibu and coke.
Out of Pubs, sports bars, vodka bars, wine bars, rock clubs or dance clubs, which would you ordinarily prefer?
Probably rock clubs, although there’s nothing wrong with a nice country pub. Wine bars are more babs’ scene and there a lot of dicks at some clubs and bars in town.
How often do you go socialising, or are you more content at home?Quite often… I go out more than Lu and Babs, although Lu comes out more often now she’s in her twenties. She likes the attention, but I still look after her.
How do you relax on a Sunday?
Sleep in and take about three hours to get up! I’m a night owl, and I’ve usually been up late on Saturday night, or Sunday morning.
Describe a fun day out with friends or a date.
With friends, I enjoy going to the cinema and having a nice meal, and would be quite happy doing that with a guy, although with friends I’m usually more likely to go to bars and clubs later, if I can afford it.
Where is your ideal holiday destination?
I’d like to go to New York one day, or tour round Europe. Too many of my friends have done the gap year thing to Asia. It’s such a cliché, and they just hang around with other people who speak English and don’t really mix with the locals at all.
Out of a visit to a gallery, a museum, the theatre or cinema, which one appeals to you most?
Oh the cinema, although I’ve seen some good plays with our friend Dominic.
What was the last book you read?
I don’t get much time to read that often. I wish I could, but there’s always something better to do. I’m sort of guilty of taking the piss (can I say that?) out of adults who read Harry Potter, even though I don’t read a lot. Hahaha, it wasprobably as lightweight as Potter. Probably a book on nineties brit pop my last BF leant me.
Who is your favourite author?
Well, I can’t really say JK (Rowling) can I? From childhood it was probably Roald Dahl, nowadays… I don’t have one.
What newspapers, if any, do you read?
I don’t read the newspapers, as they’re full of, err, nonsense.
What’s your favourite website (don’t be too honest here)?
Hahaha, probably youtube… I don’t use the net that often.
What’s the last song you heard?
something by ABBA. It was on the radio an hour ago.
Did you like it?
It was a little too poppy, but not bad.
What is your favourite recording artist/band?
Again, I don’t have one favourite. I’ve been listening to Led Zeppelin, but it’s a little old school. I like Goldfrapp, Outkast… different things.
What’s the last film you saw, (cinema/ rented/ TV/ bought/ download)?Oh some really bad CGI action thing. It was the only thing on at the time. John Cusack versus an earthquake.
So you didn't like it?
No, it was the usual Hollywood crap.
What is your favourite film?
Ever? I couldn’t narrow it down. I used to like Tim Burton films, just because they were weird. Now I’m a bit more grown-up I watch the mad stuff Dominic points out to me. He’s pretty warped but knows an enormous amount about films. He loves the cult classics and foreign stuff, as well as sixties cinema. We all watched flash Gordon once and with Dominic there we were all in hysterics.
Are you a gamer?
Not really. We bought a Wii but we don’t really use it. I know a lot of girls who like gaming though.
What is the last computer game you played?
Heavens! Some dance thing with Lucy and a few mates. She wiped the floor with us.
How much time in a day do you use the internet?
I generally use it to check my emails, chat and upload photos. I go on our site but not as much as Lucy and Babs. Babs makes an effort to moderate it. We’ve got a very nice core of forum members, mostly thanks to her getting rid of the weirdoes.
What is the best thing on TV at the moment?
I couldn’t tell you… I like a few things. We would probably all agree on Top Gear, but it’s not on right now.
What was your favourite TV show growing up?
Probably Neighbours! I know I’m sad! We always bring up old shows we used to watch, but I think it was probably Sooty. I remember Babs loving Sooty, although she’ll no doubt say an Attenborough thing.
Do you think you’ll own a TV set in five years from now?
Uhm why not?...
The way technology is going may make the traditional TV set a relic.Well, I’m sure the doctor has a tv set somewhere, but we’ve updated to Hi-def LCD screens.
Do you upload any media content of your own, and what kind of content is it?
I upload photos of myself, but our agency uploads all the official stuff. Our videos do extremely well, as we’ve done a few personal messages for our fans. Any critics or trolls are generally ignored on our video updates. It’s best not to respond to them, or they start feeling important.
Have you ever used a webcam to make a ‘talking head’ video?
A few times, but mostly it’s snippets of me and Lucy and Babs for the DVD. Lucy likes using the webcam, the little minx!
Do you use any social networking sites?
Two, but I’m not saying which.
Do you maintain a blog, and how often do you comment on message boards?
Oh no, I don’t have time for that. Babs is more into that, and if someone writes something abusive, I just lose it.
What were you interested in at school? Were you more artistic, scientific (maths and the sciences), technical, physical or interested in languages and the humanities.
What the hell? That’s a question and a half. I wasn’t the best student in anything. I’m not very academic. I probably liked English most of all. The science or techie stuff never interested me, and I used to bunk off PE. I was never going to be in the Olympics, so I just never turned up, besides… have you ever noticed how self conscious girls with huge boobs are in PE kit?
Yes, come to think of it.
What was the last book you borrowed from a library?
I can’t remember ever belonging to a library. The school library was the last one I belonged to, yet I can’t remember renting out a book out of pleasure. That’ not to say I don’t read.
Do you own a car, and if you do, what make?
I do. It’s an Audi, and it’s blue. Hahaha, that’s it.
Given enough money, what would be your ideal car?
I don’t think I’d want a real fast car. I’m not that into cars.
But you like top gear?
And? I like the challenges they do. The cars are okay, but hardly something I’d buy.
What do you look for in someone of the opposite sex?
Tall, dark features… bit of a bad boy. I’ve tried going out with ‘nice’ men, but they just don’t do it for me. Sorry to all the nice boys out there… then again, Babs and Lu are into nice guys... you know, hopeless dweebs.
Charming! Have you ever performed at a karaoke evening?
No, I can’t sing very well. That’s Lucy’s area. She’s good, but sometimes she confuses her looks for talent ifshe gets a big crowd down the Spotted dog.
Spotted Dog?
One of the pubs that does karaoke around here. A good name, considering the howling that goes on.
Have you ever won a pub quiz?
Yes! With Barbara and Dominic’s help of course and Lucy just went round all the tables tempting guys to help give her some clues. Most of the guys in there would only come to quiz evenings and were a little geeky. Lucy just sat on their laps and swung her arms over their shoulders so that they usually got an eyeful, pretty basic stuff. One of them tried picking up Barbara, just because she kept pouting and leaning forward, letting her melons roll around in her top. (your interviewer considers this imagery) I think he was drunk.
What was the last costume you wore for a fancy dress party?Hahahaha…err, well it’s a little embarrassing. We all went as characters from Inspector Gadget. It was Dominic’s fevered idea. It was an S&M spin on Inspector Gadget, and I was the dog, Brain, with my leash, so it was a little bit furry as well. Babs was Dr Klaw, Lucy was Penny and Dominic was Gadget, with his go-go-gadget sex toys. He ended up using them on a Thundercat.
Which Disney character best suits your personality?
Well, people try and complement me by saying I look like Ariel, but it always comes out wrong, and I’m not really a goody-goody princess, but I’m not a witch or hag, hahaha… maybe the mouse in the Rescuers.
Who was the best Bond?
I think it was Sean, and not just because my dad is Scottish. I have a different dad to Babs and Lu… their dad was Polish or Czech or some country where girls have forty-inch legs and forty inch busts.
What decade of the 20th century would you like to visit?
Probably the sixties, just because so much happened.
What is your favourite wild animal?
Probably a tiger. I just said that without thinking. Maybe it’s the hair, although I’m not a cat lad (giggles).
How many languages do you speak?
Just the one, although I took French and German at school. I was never too good at them though.
Name a celebrity who looks like you
I don’t really know any. People have told me I look like a red-haired Kelly Brook, which is a good thing, although I’m a little bit fatter. I’m probably more like a red haired Abi Titmuss. She’s quite old now… (a wry smile spreads across Nina’s lips).
Do you like your neighbours?
They’re alright.
What’s your favourite board game?
Oh really?... okay, I guess it’s monopoly.
What was your favourite toy as a child?
Probably some animals with a vet surgery I used to have.
Who is your favourite soap character of all time (even if you no longer watch soaps, there’s usually one)?
Oh, I’m not sure. Probably someone in Neighbours.
How many pints/shots/measures of silly juice does it take before you start bellowing lines from a fairly old and niche film that you suddenly think everyone should’ve seen?
Erm… lots, I hope. I’ve never done that so I can’t answer.
Name one negative thing about yourself.
I don’t read enough, perhaps? I should exercise more…
And, finally; what is the meaning of life?
Well, I feel it is to enjoy yourself while you’re here.
You don’t think there’s an afterlife?
Well, why take the chance if there isn’t? Enjoy yourself, and generally be nice to people so that you don’t regret anything when you die.
.And God?
(Nina laughs) wow, er… I’m not sure either way, and to be honest, I don’t really think about it. I won’t be going to heaven either way!
Thanks Nina. Thanks for your time.
Well, that last question was sort of a downer? Maybe you should rethink it.
Perhaps. Your sisters might see it differently.
So when will I see their answers?
In about three days.
Okay… thanks.
(Barbara is interviewed in part 2)
Your humble interviewer has been allowed back to the Fox mansion (just west of Salisbury, Wiltshire – don’t try it, they have electric fences supplied by a megawatt-level generator) to quiz the girls about their lifestyles, opinions and idiosyncrasies. Not only that, but we have been given a chance to speak to the project leader himself, Doctor Frank Featherfinger.
First up, the scarlet fox, Nina. At 5’7’’, she is the shortest of the three, but the eldest. She is half-sister to her younger siblings, with her father being a Scottish Army officer. Her lighter skin and green eyes also set her apart from Lucy and Barbara, but her body and predilection for exposing ample amounts of bosom remain the same, with two healthy promontories of mallowy boob riding up beyond her neckline. Her waist is slighter thicker than that of her sisters, but she doesn’t pretend to be a ‘neurotic bean eater’, and says men still clamour for her generous curves.
I get the impression she is quick witted, with a little pre-interview banter displaying a wry sense of humour, and no banter is free from the customary playfulness but sadly, I insist on pressing on with the questions, if she is to catch her train to London.
So, first of all, what’s your favourite meal you like to cook?
I’ve never been a great cook. The other two are quite happy in the kitchen, so I usually let them get on with it. I do cook occasionally, but nothing amazing… probably one of those little pizzas you get. So I generally have the cooking ability of a single thirtysomething guy… (laughs).
If you’re out with friends, and want a quick bite to eat, where would you go?
Probably a coffee shop that doe paninis and stuff. we might sit down somewhere, but usually a sandwich will do.
What is your favourite type of take-away food, and what do you order?
Ooh, that’s a toughy. I’m terrible at cooking, so I’m often tempted to just order something. I tend not to go for fast food like burgers, but there are points when I just say ‘sod it’, and go to the drive thru… although, I’m quite happy with a nice curry or Thai take away. I usually have something mild.
What’s your favourite kind of restaurant for a special occasion?
Well, again, as long as it’s decent food, then I’m okay with a nice banquety-type event in a curry house… or a really nice Chinese restaurant.
What drink do you order from the bar?
Malibu and coke.
Out of Pubs, sports bars, vodka bars, wine bars, rock clubs or dance clubs, which would you ordinarily prefer?
Probably rock clubs, although there’s nothing wrong with a nice country pub. Wine bars are more babs’ scene and there a lot of dicks at some clubs and bars in town.
How often do you go socialising, or are you more content at home?Quite often… I go out more than Lu and Babs, although Lu comes out more often now she’s in her twenties. She likes the attention, but I still look after her.
How do you relax on a Sunday?
Sleep in and take about three hours to get up! I’m a night owl, and I’ve usually been up late on Saturday night, or Sunday morning.
Describe a fun day out with friends or a date.
With friends, I enjoy going to the cinema and having a nice meal, and would be quite happy doing that with a guy, although with friends I’m usually more likely to go to bars and clubs later, if I can afford it.
Where is your ideal holiday destination?
I’d like to go to New York one day, or tour round Europe. Too many of my friends have done the gap year thing to Asia. It’s such a cliché, and they just hang around with other people who speak English and don’t really mix with the locals at all.
Out of a visit to a gallery, a museum, the theatre or cinema, which one appeals to you most?
Oh the cinema, although I’ve seen some good plays with our friend Dominic.
What was the last book you read?
I don’t get much time to read that often. I wish I could, but there’s always something better to do. I’m sort of guilty of taking the piss (can I say that?) out of adults who read Harry Potter, even though I don’t read a lot. Hahaha, it wasprobably as lightweight as Potter. Probably a book on nineties brit pop my last BF leant me.
Who is your favourite author?
Well, I can’t really say JK (Rowling) can I? From childhood it was probably Roald Dahl, nowadays… I don’t have one.
What newspapers, if any, do you read?
I don’t read the newspapers, as they’re full of, err, nonsense.
What’s your favourite website (don’t be too honest here)?
Hahaha, probably youtube… I don’t use the net that often.
What’s the last song you heard?
something by ABBA. It was on the radio an hour ago.
Did you like it?
It was a little too poppy, but not bad.
What is your favourite recording artist/band?
Again, I don’t have one favourite. I’ve been listening to Led Zeppelin, but it’s a little old school. I like Goldfrapp, Outkast… different things.
What’s the last film you saw, (cinema/ rented/ TV/ bought/ download)?Oh some really bad CGI action thing. It was the only thing on at the time. John Cusack versus an earthquake.
So you didn't like it?
No, it was the usual Hollywood crap.
What is your favourite film?
Ever? I couldn’t narrow it down. I used to like Tim Burton films, just because they were weird. Now I’m a bit more grown-up I watch the mad stuff Dominic points out to me. He’s pretty warped but knows an enormous amount about films. He loves the cult classics and foreign stuff, as well as sixties cinema. We all watched flash Gordon once and with Dominic there we were all in hysterics.
Are you a gamer?
Not really. We bought a Wii but we don’t really use it. I know a lot of girls who like gaming though.
What is the last computer game you played?
Heavens! Some dance thing with Lucy and a few mates. She wiped the floor with us.
How much time in a day do you use the internet?
I generally use it to check my emails, chat and upload photos. I go on our site but not as much as Lucy and Babs. Babs makes an effort to moderate it. We’ve got a very nice core of forum members, mostly thanks to her getting rid of the weirdoes.
What is the best thing on TV at the moment?
I couldn’t tell you… I like a few things. We would probably all agree on Top Gear, but it’s not on right now.
What was your favourite TV show growing up?
Probably Neighbours! I know I’m sad! We always bring up old shows we used to watch, but I think it was probably Sooty. I remember Babs loving Sooty, although she’ll no doubt say an Attenborough thing.
Do you think you’ll own a TV set in five years from now?
Uhm why not?...
The way technology is going may make the traditional TV set a relic.Well, I’m sure the doctor has a tv set somewhere, but we’ve updated to Hi-def LCD screens.
Do you upload any media content of your own, and what kind of content is it?
I upload photos of myself, but our agency uploads all the official stuff. Our videos do extremely well, as we’ve done a few personal messages for our fans. Any critics or trolls are generally ignored on our video updates. It’s best not to respond to them, or they start feeling important.
Have you ever used a webcam to make a ‘talking head’ video?
A few times, but mostly it’s snippets of me and Lucy and Babs for the DVD. Lucy likes using the webcam, the little minx!
Do you use any social networking sites?
Two, but I’m not saying which.
Do you maintain a blog, and how often do you comment on message boards?
Oh no, I don’t have time for that. Babs is more into that, and if someone writes something abusive, I just lose it.
What were you interested in at school? Were you more artistic, scientific (maths and the sciences), technical, physical or interested in languages and the humanities.
What the hell? That’s a question and a half. I wasn’t the best student in anything. I’m not very academic. I probably liked English most of all. The science or techie stuff never interested me, and I used to bunk off PE. I was never going to be in the Olympics, so I just never turned up, besides… have you ever noticed how self conscious girls with huge boobs are in PE kit?
Yes, come to think of it.
What was the last book you borrowed from a library?
I can’t remember ever belonging to a library. The school library was the last one I belonged to, yet I can’t remember renting out a book out of pleasure. That’ not to say I don’t read.
Do you own a car, and if you do, what make?
I do. It’s an Audi, and it’s blue. Hahaha, that’s it.
Given enough money, what would be your ideal car?
I don’t think I’d want a real fast car. I’m not that into cars.
But you like top gear?
And? I like the challenges they do. The cars are okay, but hardly something I’d buy.
What do you look for in someone of the opposite sex?
Tall, dark features… bit of a bad boy. I’ve tried going out with ‘nice’ men, but they just don’t do it for me. Sorry to all the nice boys out there… then again, Babs and Lu are into nice guys... you know, hopeless dweebs.
Charming! Have you ever performed at a karaoke evening?
No, I can’t sing very well. That’s Lucy’s area. She’s good, but sometimes she confuses her looks for talent ifshe gets a big crowd down the Spotted dog.
Spotted Dog?
One of the pubs that does karaoke around here. A good name, considering the howling that goes on.
Have you ever won a pub quiz?
Yes! With Barbara and Dominic’s help of course and Lucy just went round all the tables tempting guys to help give her some clues. Most of the guys in there would only come to quiz evenings and were a little geeky. Lucy just sat on their laps and swung her arms over their shoulders so that they usually got an eyeful, pretty basic stuff. One of them tried picking up Barbara, just because she kept pouting and leaning forward, letting her melons roll around in her top. (your interviewer considers this imagery) I think he was drunk.
What was the last costume you wore for a fancy dress party?Hahahaha…err, well it’s a little embarrassing. We all went as characters from Inspector Gadget. It was Dominic’s fevered idea. It was an S&M spin on Inspector Gadget, and I was the dog, Brain, with my leash, so it was a little bit furry as well. Babs was Dr Klaw, Lucy was Penny and Dominic was Gadget, with his go-go-gadget sex toys. He ended up using them on a Thundercat.
Which Disney character best suits your personality?
Well, people try and complement me by saying I look like Ariel, but it always comes out wrong, and I’m not really a goody-goody princess, but I’m not a witch or hag, hahaha… maybe the mouse in the Rescuers.
Who was the best Bond?
I think it was Sean, and not just because my dad is Scottish. I have a different dad to Babs and Lu… their dad was Polish or Czech or some country where girls have forty-inch legs and forty inch busts.
What decade of the 20th century would you like to visit?
Probably the sixties, just because so much happened.
What is your favourite wild animal?
Probably a tiger. I just said that without thinking. Maybe it’s the hair, although I’m not a cat lad (giggles).
How many languages do you speak?
Just the one, although I took French and German at school. I was never too good at them though.
Name a celebrity who looks like you
I don’t really know any. People have told me I look like a red-haired Kelly Brook, which is a good thing, although I’m a little bit fatter. I’m probably more like a red haired Abi Titmuss. She’s quite old now… (a wry smile spreads across Nina’s lips).
Do you like your neighbours?
They’re alright.
What’s your favourite board game?
Oh really?... okay, I guess it’s monopoly.
What was your favourite toy as a child?
Probably some animals with a vet surgery I used to have.
Who is your favourite soap character of all time (even if you no longer watch soaps, there’s usually one)?
Oh, I’m not sure. Probably someone in Neighbours.
How many pints/shots/measures of silly juice does it take before you start bellowing lines from a fairly old and niche film that you suddenly think everyone should’ve seen?
Erm… lots, I hope. I’ve never done that so I can’t answer.
Name one negative thing about yourself.
I don’t read enough, perhaps? I should exercise more…
And, finally; what is the meaning of life?
Well, I feel it is to enjoy yourself while you’re here.
You don’t think there’s an afterlife?
Well, why take the chance if there isn’t? Enjoy yourself, and generally be nice to people so that you don’t regret anything when you die.
.And God?
(Nina laughs) wow, er… I’m not sure either way, and to be honest, I don’t really think about it. I won’t be going to heaven either way!
Thanks Nina. Thanks for your time.
Well, that last question was sort of a downer? Maybe you should rethink it.
Perhaps. Your sisters might see it differently.
So when will I see their answers?
In about three days.
Okay… thanks.
(Barbara is interviewed in part 2)
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