Freddie-Bear's Day at the Doctor (a faux children's story; mildly sardonic).

[Low_Roads]

Something a little different for the start of 2008. Freddie-Bear's Day at the Doctor (written in 2003 or thereabouts) is told in the florid, overly emphatic language of children's fiction and would almost be suitable for kids if the approach was less snide. It was intended as the start of a series featuring the hapless Freddie-Bear character, but I never found sufficient inspiration for a second one. The story is broken into 3 chapters (one each week in this single thread until the story is complete):

Freddie-Bear's Day at the Doctor​

Part 1: Freddie-Bear Finds a Stain​

"What in the world is all that humming?"

That's the question Freddie-Bear asked. He had asked the question many times. He asked it over and over again. He had to ask over and over, because he always forgot in between times.

"Buzz!" said the buzzer.

"What in the world is all that humming?" said Freddie-Bear, rubbing his head. This time, he actually opened up his eyes to have a look.

"Oh no!" he cried. "Just look! The clock says it's 10:00 in the morning! However did it get to be so late? My alarm clock should have waked me up long before this!"

Freddie-Bear reached down from his comfy warm bed and pushed the button on the clock to see what was wrong. The faint humming noise suddenly stopped.

"Oh my Gosh!" Freddie-Bear swore. "That humming sound was coming from my alarm clock! But it's so faint! I need a loud, loud noise to wake me up in the morning! Could the alarm possibly be broken?"

So Freddie-Bear reached down his hand once more to examine the alarm clock. The clock really wasn't that old. Nothing should have gone wrong. As his hand approached the clock, it accidentally brushed against a stack of CD disks, complete in their jewel cases. Freddie-Bear had carelessly stacked the stack way too close to the bed. It was way too tall and way too unsteady. The CDs in it were placed way too unevenly. As soon as Freddie-Bear's hand brushed the stack, it began to wobble precariously back and forth.

"Oh no!" Freddie-Bear cried in terror when he saw what he had done. "That stack of CDs is about to fall! That mustn't happen! My precious CDs would surely become scratched!"

So he tried and tried to keep the stack from falling. But it was just too uneven.

"Crash!" went the stack of CDs.

"That's strange," Freddie-Bear puzzled, as he surveyed the tangle of fallen CDs. "I would have expected that stack of CDs to go 'Crash!' when it fell. But instead, it only made a feeble 'Tink!' What's wrong today? Nothing is making as much noise as it should."

So instead of picking up all those spilled CDs (which is really what he should have done, as they had caused quite a mess), Freddie-Bear thought and thought: why was it that nothing was making as much noise as it should? He settled back in the warm, comfy covers of his bed to consider the problem.

"When things are far away, they make less noise than they should. Perhaps the noises came from a long way off."

But that wasn't true at all. The alarm clock was right next to the bed. And so was the tall stack of CDs.

"Hmmm. If the alarm on my alarm clock is turned all the way down, I surely wouldn't hear it very well."

So he checked the alarm dial to see if it was all the way down. But that wasn't true at all. Instead of being all the way down, it was all the way up.

"That certainly is strange indeed!" thought Freddie-Bear. "With the alarm dial all the way up, the sound should be louder, not softer. Something else must be to blame."

So he thought and thought some more.

"Hmmm. Perhaps the falling CDs had landed on a pillow. You wouldn't expect them to go 'Crash!' if they happened to land on a soft, downy pillow, now would you?"

So he checked to see if the stack of CDs had landed on a pillow. But that wasn't true at all. Instead, the pillow was right beneath his head, right where you would expect it to be.

"This is a real puzzle," thought Freddie-Bear. "If the problem isn't in the alarm clock and isn't in the stack of CDs, where could it be? The only thing I haven't checked yet is my ears."

Freddie-Bear really didn't think the problem was in his ears. After all, they had been just fine only the day before. But just to be complete, he reached up his hand to feel the one on the right.

"Hmmm," mused Fredde-Bear. "That certainly is odd. There seems to be something gritty and greasy inside my right ear."

The stuff inside his right ear really did feel gritty and greasy. So Freddie-Bear removed his finger from his ear and brought it in front of his eyes so that he could see it all the better. And what do you think he saw? The tip of his finger was all covered with a deep, dark rich brown stain!

"Good Heavens! That looks just like oil! But there should never be any oil inside a person's ear!"

Then Freddie-Bear realized what the brown stain actually was.

"Oh my Gosh! It's ear wax! My ear is completely filled with ear wax! It's so filled up, it can't hold any more!"

In a panic, Freddie-Bear reached up to feel his left ear. His right ear might have been ruined, but perhaps the left one was still okay.

"Oh no!" Freddie-Bear wailed. "There's something gritty and greasy inside my left ear too!"

He pulled his finger out again and (sure enough!) it was covered with a deep, dark rich brown stain!

"Oh no!" Freddie-Bear wailed once more. "It's filled with ear wax too! My left ear is so filled up with ear wax, it can't hold any more!"

Then Freddie-Bear finally leaped out of his bed and ran down the stairs into the yard.

"Help me! Help me!" he screamed as he ran around the yard. "My ears are completely filled up with ear wax! They're so filled up, that neither one can hold any more!"

Now Freddie-Bear's brother, Bobby, had been awake for hours. His ears had not been filled up with ear wax, and he had heard his alarm clock just fine.

"What's the matter with you?" he called out. "Why are you making all this racket?"

But Freddie-Bear could barely hear his brother's voice. To him, it sounded just like the squeaking voice of a very small mouse.

"What did you say?" cried Freddie-Bear, his eyes filling up with tears. " I can't hear a word you say! My ears are filled up with ear wax!"

"Well for Heaven's sake!" swore Bobby. "That's not so serious! Stop making such a racket, please."

"What did you say?" Freddie-Bear shrieked. "I can't hear you! My ears are filled up with ear wax! They're so filled up, they can't hold any more!"

"Then you should go to see Dr. Lancer at the hospital," Bobby said in a calm voice. "He'll know just what to do."

"I can't hear anything you say!" blubbered Freddie-Bear. "My ears are completely filled up with ear wax! Oh, I must go see Dr. Lancer at the hospital! Perhaps he can save me!"

So Freddie-Bear went back into the house and picked up the telephone so he could call the hospital. He dialed and dialed the phone number for the receptionist's desk. He did this so he could make an appointment to see his doctor, Dr. Lancer. But when the receptionist answered, he couldn't hear her voice any better than he had heard that of his brother. To him, it sounded just like the squeaking voice of a small mouse.

"Help me! Help me!" Freddie-Bear screamed into the telephone. "I need to see Dr. Lancer at once! My ears are completely filled up with ear wax!"

But no matter how loud he screamed, he just couldn't hear the receptionist at the other end of the line.

"Here! Let me do that!" said Bobby, as he entered and took the telephone from Freddie-Bear. "I'll make the appointment for you!"

And that's just what he did.


Next week - part 2: "Freddie-Bear Meets the Big, Big Syringe".

 

[Journia]

Oh dang...they are going to be in a world of trouble....I have been there.
The style is nice, just like a kiddie story. I like it and can't wait for memories of the big big syringe.

 

[Low_Roads]

Oh dang...they are going to be in a world of trouble....I have been there.

If you mean with excessive ear wax, me too! This story is vaguely autobiographical (accurate as regards the events, not Freddie-Bear's fumbling persona. Lord, at least I hope not!)

The style is nice, just like a kiddie story. I like it and can't wait for memories of the big big syringe.

Thanks very much, J! I'm pleased to be able to offer something short for a change, as opposed to my usual multi-million part epic that never seems to end. The whole thing will be finished in two weeks' time. And stay tuned for the very last line! It's something I know you especially will appreciate!

 

[His Divine Shadow]

HDS finds it amusing what they actually said when they are noted as "swearing", Freddie-Bear and Bobby both. I suppose that is part of the nature of the story. I must admit, however, that I had a different plot pictured when I read the subtitle "Freddie-Bear Finds a Stain". More urology related. 😛 The craziest things spring from your noggin, LBH.

 

[Low_Roads]

HDS finds it amusing what they actually said when they are noted as "swearing", Freddie-Bear and Bobby both. I suppose that is part of the nature of the story. I must admit, however, that I had a different plot pictured when I read the subtitle "Freddie-Bear Finds a Stain". More urology related. 😛 The craziest things spring from your noggin, LBH.

My grateful thanks! I deeply cherish and nurture any hint of mental instability! XD

Most valued of reviewers! One can always trust the HDS to note the subtleties! Part of the storytelling approach was to indicate that the puritanical, lunk-headed author (well, if the shoe fits... ) was missing the big picture and either purposely or inadvertently suggesting a far seamier context than the actual material warranted. It's a tricky balancing act, offering this impression but not being blatant about it; one which eventually beat me, as its complexities shied me from any more Freddie-Bear stories. Hell, I might still try another one some day (I'd still like enough of these for a modest series), if I ever manage to complete the blasted Low Roads comic!

 

[Low_Roads]

Part 2: Freddie-Bear Meets the Big, Big Syringe.​

Freddie-Bear could see the nurse's lips moving. But she didn't seem to be speaking. No, not at all.

"Freddie-Bear, the doctor will see you now."

"What?" moaned Freddie-Bear. "I can't hear, you see. My ears are all filled up with ear wax. They're so filled up, they just can't hold any more."

This was a problem indeed. How was Freddie-Bear to know it was his turn to see Dr. Lancer if he couldn't hear what the nurse told him? He might sit in the waiting room for days and days. He might sit there until his hair turned gray. But that wouldn't happen. You see, the nurse was a very clever nurse.

"Freddie-Bear," she said, pointing directly at Freddie-Bear, "it's time for you to see Dr. Lancer now." And she pointed at Dr. Lancer's name on the office door. "Please come with me," she continued, making walking movements with her fingers, "and we'll examine you all over." And she shaded her eyes, looking Freddie-Bear up and down.

This idea made Freddie-Bear very nervous. The problem was only in his ears. Why should they want to examine him all over? Suppose they found out something else was wrong! What if they discovered he had measles of a broken leg? Freddie-Bear didn't want any of that! But he really had no choice. He was in a hospital, after all. In a hospital, you must do as you are told.

So Freddie-Bear followed the nurse through the door. She lead him through one hallway after another. They went through so many hallways, he was no longer sure where he was.

"Oh no!" thought Freddie-Bear miserably. "Now I'm lost! Suppose the hospital should catch on fire! How would I ever find my way out? How would I be saved? The firemen would find me toasted, just like a toasted marshmallow!"

At last the nurse brought Freddie-Bear to a little room with a high, narrow bed. This was Dr. Lancer's examining room. It was the place where Freddie-Bear would be examined, all over.

"Please take off your shirt," said the nurse, "so that I can listen to your heart."

"What?" said Freddie-Bear. "I can't hear, you see. My ears are all filled up with ear wax."

So the nurse undid the buttons of Freddie-Bear's shirt, just so he would get the idea.

"Oh," said Freddie-Bear, and took off his shirt.

"Now please take off your t-shirt," said the nurse, "so that I can listen to your heart. I can't very well listen to your heart if you have your t-shirt on, you know."

"What?" said Freddie-Bear. "I can't hear, you see. My ears are all filled up with ear wax."

So the nurse lifted up Freddie-Bear's t-shirt, showing his naked tummy, just so he would get the idea.

"Oh," said Freddie-Bear, and took off his t-shirt too. He was now all naked. The upper half, anyway.

"I am now going to listen to your heart with this stethoscope," said the nurse. "Sorry to tell you, but I'm afraid it's very, very cold."

"What?" said Freddie-Bear. "I can't hear, you see. My ears are all filled up with-- "

Suddenly, all the air was sucked from Freddie-Bear's body. You see, the stethoscope really was very, very cold indeed!

"Well," said the nurse, "your heart sounds perfectly all right, Freddie-Bear."

Freddie-Bear wanted to say that he couldn't hear her. He wanted to say that his ears were all filled up with ear wax. But he didn't speak a word. You see, the air was all sucked from his body, and it hadn't come back yet.

"You just sit here and be comfortable," said the nurse. "Dr. Lancer will be right with you." And then she left.

Freddie-Bear was now all alone in the little examining room. He waited and he waited. The walls of the room were covered all over with pictures. Freddie-Bear didn't want to look at them, but he had waited so long that he couldn't help himself. One of the pictures showed the inside of a patient's knee. It was red and throbbing. A disease called "arthritis" had eaten away the knee bone until hardly anything was left. Looking at this picture made Freddie-Bear's own knee hurt. So he looked at a different picture. This one showed the inside of a patient's stomach. Holes had eaten their way clear through. These holes were called "ulcers". When Freddie-Bear saw the ulcers, his own stomach started to hurt. So he looked to the next picture. But this one showed some naughty parts, and he had to look away.

At last Dr. Lancer walked into the examining room. He was a big man and wore a big white coat.

"Hello, Freddie-Bear," said Dr. Lancer. "How are you feeling today?" He picked up the medical chart and had a look. "So, you've got a little problem with ear wax, eh?"

Freddie-Bear wanted to tell him that he couldn't hear. He wanted to say that his ears were all filled up with ear wax, but he didn't dare. This was the doctor, after all, and you don't talk back to a doctor. So Freddie-Bear just sat there with a blank look on his face.

"Let's just have a look for ourselves," said Dr. Lancer, and he stuck a viewer down Freddie-Bear's right ear so he could see all the better.

Freddie-Bear just sat there with a blank look on his face.

"Oh yes," said the doctor at last. "There certainly is a lot of ear wax. Extreme blockage. Now let's have a look at your left ear." And Dr. Lancer stuck the viewer down Freddie-Bear's left ear.

Freddie-Bear just sat there with a blank look on his face.

"Uh-huh," the doctor said at last. "A lot of ear wax in there too. Extreme blockage. Well, that's not too serious. We can handle the problem quite easily." And he called for the nurse.

Freddie-Bear just sat there with a blank look on his face. He couldn't hear a work, after all.

When the nurse entered once again, Dr. Lancer told her, "Let's flush this patient's ears, shall we? You know just what to do." And then he left the examining room.

"What's the matter?" thought Freddie-Bear in a panic. "Why did Dr. Lancer leave? Is he all done? Couldn't he cure me? Perhaps my ears will be filled up with ear wax until I die!"

"Well, let's get started, shall we?" said the nurse. And she held up a big, big syringe for Freddie-Bear to see.

He looked and looked at the syringe. It really was big. It was a whole foot long and two inches thick. It looked like it would hold a whole pint of medicine.

Sweat began to run down Freddie-Bear's face. "Oh no!" he thought.


Next week: "Freddie-Bear and the Raging Torrent".

 

[MistressValerie1]

This is hilarious! I have the same problem myself and am all too familiar with those ear syringes 😀

 

[Cbarton]

I have to De-Brox and irrigate mine often...love the whimsical image you are creating with this story. In the health-care business, it's fun to take a "Child's eye" look at all we do and wonder what they are thinking...

 

[Low_Roads]

This is hilarious! I have the same problem myself and am all too familiar with those ear syringes 😀

Very kind of you, Mistress Val! Thank you! Fortunately, I've managed to avoid major blockages since the incident fictionalized above. A weekly hydrogen peroxide wash sees that my hearing remains its keenest... a minor inconvenience, far preferable to congestion and muffled noise!

I have to De-Brox and irrigate mine often...love the whimsical image you are creating with this story. In the health-care business, it's fun to take a "Child's eye" look at all we do and wonder what they are thinking...

Much appreciated, Hawk! I was hopeful this story would click with TTC's respected resident medico and that he'd have special insight to offer! Freddie-Bear was intended as a pretty hopeless tyro in just about ever aspect of life... much of his frustration and angst would mirror my own, though not (I pray!) to such an outlandish degree!

 

[His Divine Shadow]

Now I'm lost! Suppose the hospital should catch on fire! How would I ever find my way out? How would I be saved? The firemen would find me toasted, just like a toasted marshmallow!

I've never thought about the winding corridors of Hospitals that way before but I can assure you that I will forevermore. And I'll have to shake a fist at you, LBH, each time. *Pre-emptive fist-shake action* This entry was most entertaining! I feel his pain in one respect; having caregiver after caregiver try speaking to him before remembering that he can't hear. I remember instances where it seemed like the doctor or nurse hadn't bothered to look at the chart beforehand to gain even a little idea of why you were there. 😛

 

[Low_Roads]

I've never thought about the winding corridors of Hospitals that way before but I can assure you that I will forevermore. And I'll have to shake a fist at you, LBH, each time. *Pre-emptive fist-shake action*

(Ducks shaken fist and cowers fearfully for life and limb!) Sorry to have evoked nightmare imagery! XD It springs from early childhood anxiety; the labyrinth of any public facility (that of my old school building especially) used to inspire an unreasonable dread that I might become permanently lost. Hospitals were particularly daunting because, like icebergs, so much of them was hidden from view, only to be hinted at when one is led to a domicile-like examining room... as though the patient were on safari and needed a guide to find his way in and out! I overreact, of course, but overreaction is the theme of the story!

This entry was most entertaining! I feel his pain in one respect; having caregiver after caregiver try speaking to him before remembering that he can't hear. I remember instances where it seemed like the doctor or nurse hadn't bothered to look at the chart beforehand to gain even a little idea of why you were there. 😛

Thank you, HDS! Very happy this chapter could entertain! I've been fairly lucky on the diagnosis-and-treatment front, but then my constitution has always been sound and my charts rather simple (my biggest headache has always been that my name is exactly the same as my father's... LittleBigHead, say, with a "IV" attached... and my account was forever being confused with his). My friend GM, on the other hand (a lifelong type-1 diabetic), was a playground for medical complaints and used to bitch constantly about being treated like a number. I wouldn't have traded my problems for his... incessant health worries can bog a person down like nothing else. It's always amazed me that he was able to accomplish anything at all under such conditions.

 

[Cbarton]

Yes! Come to my hospital. The lower levels are so labyrinthine, I keep expecting to find a Minotaur in Engineering!

 

[Low_Roads]

Yes! Come to my hospital. The lower levels are so labyrinthine, I keep expecting to find a Minotaur in Engineering!

I wouldn't be at all surprised! In fact, I prefer a concrete monster or two to absolute loneliness. I once did graveyard security work at an abandoned veterans home. Just me in this shiveringly cold, shadowy, strung-out structure for eight straight hours (like being trapped inside a dead body). I got a real Blair Witch vibe about the place, and wasn't at all pleased to read the similarly spooked comments of the preceding shift (this guy was going on about things he'd "almost seen" and how he wanted to carry a gun). The building's been flattened now, thank god. Maybe someone ought to sow the ground with salt, just to be safe.

 

[Low_Roads]

Part 3: "Freddie-Bear and the Raging Torrent"​

​

Freddie-Bear shook all over. He looked and looked, but he still couldn't believe his eyes.

"This surely is a very big syringe!" he thought in alarm. "It's the biggest syringe I have ever seen in my life! I'll bet it's the biggest syringe that has ever been made! Why, the needle that goes on top must be five inches long, at least!"

Now, the fact was that Freddie-Bear hated syringes. They were used to inject medicine, and he hated to take shots. He hated it, even when the syringe was rather small. He didn't care to be poked by needles. No, not at all. Not even when the needle was very, very small. Being poked by a needle was his least favorite thing in the whole world!

But the needle that went on top of this syringe would not be small. It would be very, very big. It would be five inches long, at least.

And if it hurt to be poked by a very, very small needle, how much more would it hurt to be poked by a needle five inches long!

Freddie-Bear wanted to leave the examining room. He wanted to run far, far away and never come back. But he didn't do that. He just sat there, with a blank look on his face. He was in a hospital, after all. In a hospital, you must do as you are told. You must not talk back. And you certainly must never, never run away!

"Well," said the nurse, "let's flush all that wax from your ears, shall we?"

Freddie-Bear saw her lips move. But he didn't hear a word. His ears were all filled up with wax. He wanted to tell her that he couldn't hear. He wanted to tell her that his ears were filled up with wax. But he didn't do that. He was too scared even to move.

"Time to prepare the solution," the nurse said, and she reached into a cabinet to remove a bottle of hydrogen peroxide.

"There's the medicine they plan to inject into me!" thought Freddie-Bear in terror. He read the words on the bottle. H-y-d-r-o-g-e-n P-e-r-o-x-i-d-e. Hydrogen! Freddie-Bear didn't like the sound of that. Hydrogen was what scientists used to make bombs!

"We'll have that wax flushed out in no time," said the nurse. "Here. Hold this cup beneath your right ear, please, so that the solution will not spill onto the floor." And she handed Freddie-Bear a white plastic cup.

"Why, they must want me to take an aspirin," thought Freddie-Bear. That wasn't good. The needle must really, really hurt if they wanted him to take an aspirin.

So Freddie-Bear waited and waited to receive his aspirin. But he waited in vain. The nurse never handed him one. She never even put any water in the white plastic cup.

"Hold the cup beneath your right ear, please," said the nurse, more firmly, "just as I asked you." And she took Freddie-Bear's hand, moving the cup directly beneath his right ear, which was just where it belonged.

"This is strange indeed," thought Freddie-Bear. "What sense does it make to hold the cup beneath my right ear if I'm to take an aspirin?"

So Freddie-Bear thought and thought: why would the nurse want him to hold the white plastic cup beneath his right ear if he was to take an aspirin... that really didn't make much sense. Perhaps she didn't want him to take an aspirin after all.

"Oh no!" thought Freddie-Bear. "Suppose the cup isn't there so that I can take an aspirin! Suppose the cup is there to catch blood leaking out of the needle hole!" That made quite a lot of sense, really. A five inch needle would cause quite a large hole indeed.

By this time, the nurse had filled up the syringe with the hydrogen peroxide solution.

"Now this won't hurt at all," said the nurse, as she placed the syringe next to Freddie-Bear's ear.

"Oh no!" moaned Freddie-Bear to himself. "She's going to poke the needle right into my ear! This is going to be really, really painful! And I'll never, never be able to hear again!"

"Swoosh!" went the hydrogen peroxide, as it squirted into Freddie-Bear's right ear.

Freddie-Bear cringed. He waited and waited for the needle to poke through his ear-drum. He waited and waited for the pain to start. But it never did.

That's because there really was no needle in Freddie-Bear's ear. The big, big syringe had never had a needle on top, and it never would. You see, this was a very special syringe. It had been made especially to squirt hydrogen peroxide solution. And that's exactly what it was doing.

"Swoosh! Swirl! Roar!" Those were the awful noises the hydrogen peroxide made inside Freddie-Bear's right ear.

"Oh!" Freddie-Bear thought in awe. "What a terrible roaring sound! It's just as though a river was running right through my head!" And that was true enough.

"Suppose the roaring water is too strong!" thought Freddie-Bear, trembling. "Suppose it goes clear through my head and right out the other side!"

But that didn't happen. It never, ever would, because the nurse was a very careful nurse. She was a trained professional, you see. It was her job to see to it that nothing ever went wrong.

"Let's check on our progress," she said, as she put down the syringe and looked into Freddie-Bear's right ear with a viewer. "Ah! Just as I thought. All that blocked-up ear wax has started to dissolve. Why, it will be completely gone in no time."

Freddie-Bear was quite startled. Before, he could barely hear the nurse's voice. It had sounded just like the squeaking voice of a small mouse. But now, it sounded much, much louder.

The nurse squirted more and more hydrogen peroxide into Freddie-Bear's right ear. Each time she did this, he could hear more and more clearly.

"There!" she said at last. "The blockage is now completely gone." And she took the white plastic cup from Freddie-Bear's hand to show him just what was inside. Floating around in the hydrogen peroxide solution was a little plug of ear wax. It was just about as long as a pencil eraser, and just about as thick, too.

"Is that what was causing the problem?" cried Freddie-Bear in amazement. "Is that all?" It had felt like his ears were full of gallons and gallons of ear wax.

"Yes," said the helpful nurse. "That's all it was. Now, let's treat your left ear, as well." And she used the syringe to squirt hydrogen peroxide into Freddie-Bear's left ear.

You might think that Freddie-Bear was afraid to have his left ear filled with the hydrogen peroxide solution. But that wasn't true at all. Freddie-Bear had learned his lesson: it doesn't hurt to have your ears treated when they're filled up with ear wax. No, not in the least.

"Your left ear is a bit more blocked up than the right one was," said the nurse. "We must let the solution sit there awhile, to do its work."

Freddie-Bear waited, as the hydrogen peroxide sizzled and popped inside of his left ear hole.

"Why, it feels just like my ear is filled up with Corn Flakes!" joked Freddie-Bear.

"I think you mean Rice Crispies," replied the nurse.

Finally, the hydrogen peroxide had completely dissolved the ear wax inside of Freddie-Bear's left ear.

"There," said the nurse. "The blockage is now completely gone." And she held up the white plastic cup to show him what was inside. It was another little plug of ear wax, just like the first.

"Your ears are now completely free from ear wax," she said, as she put away the big, big syringe and the bottle of hydrogen peroxide. "I must inform Dr. Lancer, so that he may make the final examination."

Freddie-Bear's ears really did feel very clean indeed. They had never felt so clean in his entire life, it seemed. The nurse's voice no longer sounded like the voice of small mouse. Why, it was now so loud, it practically boomed.

"Hello again, Freddie-Bear," said Dr. Lancer, as he entered the examining room. "Let's take a look, and see just how clean your ears are." His voice was now so loud, it sounded just as though he were speaking through a loud megaphone.

"Why yes! That hydrogen peroxide certainly did the trick!" he bellowed, as he looked into both of Freddie-Bear's ears. He wasn't really bellowing, but Freddie-Bear's new, clean ears made it seem that way. "You are completely cured. You may now go home."

"Crash!" went the closing door, as Freddie-Bear left the examining room.

"Clomp! Clomp! Clomp!" went the footsteps, as the nurse led Freddie-Bear back to the waiting room.

"Have a very nice day," she bellowed, as Freddie-Bear walked through the hospital door and into the fresh air outside.

"Whoosh!" roared the gentle breeze, as it blew past Freddie-Bear's head.

"Crash! Bang! Boom!" went the traffic out in the street, as it motored by.

"Everything sure sounds loud now," thought Freddie-Bear. "It's so loud, it almost hurts my ears."

"Ka-thump! Ka-thump! Ka-thump!"

Freddie-Bear puzzled. Just what was making that ka-thump, ka-thump, ka-thumping sound?

"Ka-thump! Ka-thump! Ka-thump!"

Whatever it was, it sure was loud.

"Ka-thump! Ka-thump! Ka-thump!"

It was so loud, it started to annoy Freddie-Bear.

"Ka-thump! Ka-thump! Ka-thump!"

But Freddie-Bear really shouldn't have been annoyed. His medical problem was now completely cured. His ears were no longer filled up with ear wax. He should have been happy.

"Ka-thump! Ka-thump! Ka-thump!"

And he would have been, too... were it not for the beating of his hideous heart.

Fin​

 

[Journia]

And he would have been, too... were it not for the beating of his hideous heart.

Oh dang! He went there! He went there! This was a humorous story Littlebighead. Ah, Freddie Bear should always have known, that you don't get something for nothing!
Gosh...I can't believe you went there man...that was just unexpected.

 

[Low_Roads]

Oh dang! He went there! He went there! This was a humorous story Littlebighead. Ah, Freddie Bear should always have known, that you don't get something for nothing!
Gosh...I can't believe you went there man...that was just unexpected.

Thank you, J! I was pretty sure you'd appreciate that last line, fellow Poe lover that you are! You're so right about Freddie-Bear... he'll never be satisfied! There's always a price to pay, a trade-off of discomforts, just for living in a fallible physical world; one who insists on making his own trouble (forever seeing a down side) is doomed to constant unhappiness! In a way, it's just as well no more stories exist in this "series"... one quails to condemn anyone, even a callow fictitious creation, to incessant purgatory.

 

[Journia]

I couldn't even sleep last night for reading that. That was just so funny. The irony of the situation. Oh...I am so tired now, but it is still so funny!

 

[Low_Roads]

I couldn't even sleep last night for reading that. That was just so funny. The irony of the situation. Oh...I am so tired now, but it is still so funny!

Very kind of you to say so! I do regret the fatigue factor... Poe allusions will offered only over the weekends from now on! XD

 

[His Divine Shadow]

I always hated putting that stuff in. I never had it bad enough to need syringes (Poured a cap full in at home instead) but it itched and popped like the Dickens! I can relate to the feeling of loudness at the end; now that I think about it, 'tis rather like the feeling I get after cleaning my glasses when they've been dirty for a good while - it practically hurts to see! "Hideous heart"? What depressing alliteration to end a children's story with! 😛

Did I just say "like the Dickens?" I've been reading too many old books again. XD

 

[Low_Roads]

I always hated putting that stuff in. I never had it bad enough to need syringes (Poured a cap full in at home instead) but it itched and popped like the Dickens! I can relate to the feeling of loudness at the end; now that I think about it, 'tis rather like the feeling I get after cleaning my glasses when they've been dirty for a good while - it practically hurts to see!

Ah, eye-wear! I had precious little appreciation for glasses when I was younger (the reason my artwork tends to be so cramped and cameo-ish is that I've always been able to comfortably see only a few inches from the paper). No longer, however. As age encroaches (and while my distance vision is still excellent), I find it impossible to get by without reading glasses. Recently, it's become necessary to carry close-up specs (150s: my eye-sight isn't that bad... yet) all the time, just so's I can make out whether the DVD I want to buy happens to be widescreen or full-frame!

"Hideous heart"? What depressing alliteration to end a children's story with! 😛

True enough! It's an nth example of the wiseacre tone that makes this story truly unsuitable for kids... even if some well-read tot did recognize "hideous heart" as a reference to "The Tell-tale Heart", they'd likely be stymied as to why they found such wording in a narrative about a character named "Freddie-Bear". And you're right: it is a desperately depressing sentiment! Had I tracked the arc of my hapless hero's career with any accuracy, it doubtless would have found him atop a tower clutching a sniper rifle!

Did I just say "like the Dickens?" I've been reading too many old books again. XD

Impossible! One can't read too much classic literature!