Low_Roads
1st Level White Feather
- Joined
- Nov 16, 2004
- Messages
- 9,000
- Points
- 48
Despite his keener senses, Chewbacca failed to alert Han and Luke to the forest trap on Endor. It was a Wookie mistake.
Trump's victory slogan:
"If at first you don't succeed, keep on suckin' till you do succeed!"
Donald Trump hasn't spent a single day in office, yet he's clearly shown he has a racist agenda. For months now, he's focused on kicking a black family out of their home.
Should be easy for Trump to build his wall; all the liberals are shitting bricks.
When I was young, my mother would always tuck me in. She really would have preferred a girl.
There's nothing funny about Hillary's email scandal... not unless you have a good sense of Huma.
Mom refuses to state which offspring she loves most. It's hurtful as hell, considering I'm an only child.
Chemists tell us that alcohol is an effective solvent. I have no trouble believing that... it certainly dissolved my marriage.
Our local minister is a pretty hip guy... gets out to see his parishioners using a motorcycle. Folks refer to him as Rev.
I enjoy beer, but do I need it every day? I'll decide that on a case by case basis.
Enough is enough!
Goes without saying, really.
I can count my visits to Chernobyl on one hand... seventeen.
It was so quiet in Chicago during the last inning of the World Series, you could hear a cartridge drop.
I made a sizable investment in a bakery shop. So far, we've had a good turnover.
A man comes to work an hour late, his glasses twisted, his face badly bruised and bloodstains on his shirt.
Boss: Good lord, man! What happened?
Man: I fell down a flight of stairs.
Boss: And it took you a whole hour?
I'm currently working at the Coca Cola factory as a taste-tester, but not for long. It's soda grading.
Before setting sail for Treasure Island, Long John Silver sought out a place to get lunch. He settled on Arrrrrbys.
What does a woman have up front, but a cow has in back?
The "w".
Some see the cup as half full; others see it as half empty. In either case, you're going to need a smaller bra.
67... 68... 69. And what follows 69?
Mouthwash.
I noticed picket signs during my drive into town. Odd protest: "End Construction"!
An old Jewish woman and her grandson are walking along the beach, when a huge wave snatches the child out to sea.
The lady falls to her knees and pleads, "I beg you, Lord! Rescue my little Herschel!"
There is rumble of thunder and a blinding flash of light. The child is miraculously standing back on dry land, drenched and shivering but completely safe.
The old woman looks to the heavens once more.
"He had a hat, you know."
* * *
Trump's victory slogan:
"If at first you don't succeed, keep on suckin' till you do succeed!"
* * *
Donald Trump hasn't spent a single day in office, yet he's clearly shown he has a racist agenda. For months now, he's focused on kicking a black family out of their home.
* * *
Should be easy for Trump to build his wall; all the liberals are shitting bricks.
* * *
When I was young, my mother would always tuck me in. She really would have preferred a girl.
* * *
There's nothing funny about Hillary's email scandal... not unless you have a good sense of Huma.
* * *
Mom refuses to state which offspring she loves most. It's hurtful as hell, considering I'm an only child.
* * *
Chemists tell us that alcohol is an effective solvent. I have no trouble believing that... it certainly dissolved my marriage.
* * *
Our local minister is a pretty hip guy... gets out to see his parishioners using a motorcycle. Folks refer to him as Rev.
* * *
I enjoy beer, but do I need it every day? I'll decide that on a case by case basis.
* * *
Enough is enough!
Goes without saying, really.
* * *
I can count my visits to Chernobyl on one hand... seventeen.
* * *
It was so quiet in Chicago during the last inning of the World Series, you could hear a cartridge drop.
* * *
I made a sizable investment in a bakery shop. So far, we've had a good turnover.
* * *
A man comes to work an hour late, his glasses twisted, his face badly bruised and bloodstains on his shirt.
Boss: Good lord, man! What happened?
Man: I fell down a flight of stairs.
Boss: And it took you a whole hour?
* * *
I'm currently working at the Coca Cola factory as a taste-tester, but not for long. It's soda grading.
* * *
Before setting sail for Treasure Island, Long John Silver sought out a place to get lunch. He settled on Arrrrrbys.
* * *
What does a woman have up front, but a cow has in back?
The "w".
* * *
Some see the cup as half full; others see it as half empty. In either case, you're going to need a smaller bra.
* * *
67... 68... 69. And what follows 69?
Mouthwash.
* * *
I noticed picket signs during my drive into town. Odd protest: "End Construction"!
* * *
An old Jewish woman and her grandson are walking along the beach, when a huge wave snatches the child out to sea.
The lady falls to her knees and pleads, "I beg you, Lord! Rescue my little Herschel!"
There is rumble of thunder and a blinding flash of light. The child is miraculously standing back on dry land, drenched and shivering but completely safe.
The old woman looks to the heavens once more.
"He had a hat, you know."
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