Low_Roads
1st Level White Feather
- Joined
- Nov 16, 2004
- Messages
- 9,000
- Points
- 48
[FONT=“Comic Sans MS”]I smacked my young son in the head with a bottle of Johnson and Johnson No More Tears Shampoo. Damn false advertising!
Those who suffer from halitosis are far and away the best sort of people. Get them up close, and you’ll find out why.
I went to prison for rape... a bit reckless perhaps, but how else am I gonna find sex?
A black, a white and an Asian enter a bar and occupy a single stool. Is this possible?
Yes. But the poor panda still won’t get any service.
It’s commonly believed that Huckleberry Finn traveled downriver on a raft. I prefer to think he got there by Twain.
A robot walks into a bar and says, “Gimme a Screwdriver, please. I need to loosen up.”
I own a salamander named Tiny. He’s really my newt.
“Doctor, my wife’s going into labor! What should I do?”
“Is this her first child?”
“Of course not! I’m her husband!”
It may sound weird, but I’m really into furry fetish sex. Please, bear with me.
There’s nothing like a good joke! Not in this collection, anyway.
Last night I fell asleep on my alarm clock. I really wanted to wake up on time.
Men are naturally lustier than women... it’s impossible to be sexy without xy
I finally know why the chicken crossed the road. There’s a mud wallow on the other side that he likes to roll around in before returning to the coop. Damn dirty double crosser!
Santa refuses to use Blitzen’s milk in his coffee. He prefers a non-deery creamer.
My wife and I have been in an open marriage for 20 years. Unfortunately, I didn’t find out about it until yesterday.
Of all the planets in the universe, Earth is the most dangerous for humans. 100% of them die there.
I’ve often wondered if the word “either” is pronounced with a long I or a long E. I suppose either must be right.
Most of the letters in the alphabet are attractive and useful, but not all of them. Screw U.
My high school girlfriend was so insatiable, I called her Rudolph. Not because she had a red nose, but because she went down in History.
The Feast of Stephen must have consisted of pizza. According to the Good King Wenceslas song, it was “Deep pan, crisp and even.”
My girlfriend really liked the beautiful boa constrictor I got her for Christmas last year. It took her breath away.
Pirates used to call out to their sweeties when approaching port. That’s how the well known phrase got started: “Land ho!”
Blonde: “Help me with this crossword. It’s eight letters long and means ‘Fixed a road’.”
Brunette: “Retarred.”
Blonde: “Asshole!”[/FONT]
* * *
Those who suffer from halitosis are far and away the best sort of people. Get them up close, and you’ll find out why.
* * *
I went to prison for rape... a bit reckless perhaps, but how else am I gonna find sex?
* * *
A black, a white and an Asian enter a bar and occupy a single stool. Is this possible?
Yes. But the poor panda still won’t get any service.
* * *
It’s commonly believed that Huckleberry Finn traveled downriver on a raft. I prefer to think he got there by Twain.
* * *
A robot walks into a bar and says, “Gimme a Screwdriver, please. I need to loosen up.”
* * *
I own a salamander named Tiny. He’s really my newt.
* * *
“Doctor, my wife’s going into labor! What should I do?”
“Is this her first child?”
“Of course not! I’m her husband!”
* * *
It may sound weird, but I’m really into furry fetish sex. Please, bear with me.
* * *
There’s nothing like a good joke! Not in this collection, anyway.
* * *
Last night I fell asleep on my alarm clock. I really wanted to wake up on time.
* * *
Men are naturally lustier than women... it’s impossible to be sexy without xy
* * *
I finally know why the chicken crossed the road. There’s a mud wallow on the other side that he likes to roll around in before returning to the coop. Damn dirty double crosser!
* * *
Santa refuses to use Blitzen’s milk in his coffee. He prefers a non-deery creamer.
* * *
My wife and I have been in an open marriage for 20 years. Unfortunately, I didn’t find out about it until yesterday.
* * *
Of all the planets in the universe, Earth is the most dangerous for humans. 100% of them die there.
* * *
I’ve often wondered if the word “either” is pronounced with a long I or a long E. I suppose either must be right.
* * *
Most of the letters in the alphabet are attractive and useful, but not all of them. Screw U.
* * *
My high school girlfriend was so insatiable, I called her Rudolph. Not because she had a red nose, but because she went down in History.
* * *
The Feast of Stephen must have consisted of pizza. According to the Good King Wenceslas song, it was “Deep pan, crisp and even.”
* * *
My girlfriend really liked the beautiful boa constrictor I got her for Christmas last year. It took her breath away.
* * *
Pirates used to call out to their sweeties when approaching port. That’s how the well known phrase got started: “Land ho!”
* * *
Blonde: “Help me with this crossword. It’s eight letters long and means ‘Fixed a road’.”
Brunette: “Retarred.”
Blonde: “Asshole!”[/FONT]
