Low_Roads
1st Level White Feather
- Joined
- Nov 16, 2004
- Messages
- 9,000
- Points
- 48
Joshua asked Moses if he'd like a last meal before Pharaoh's chariots closed in.
"No thanks," replied Moses. "I'll just halve water."
I've heard about a four man rock group that neither plays nor sings. It's called Mount Rushmore.
Some jokes are mom-and-pop jokes, some aren't. You won't know which is which until the punchline becomes apparent.
My girlfriend doesn't trust me. According to her diary, I'm too damned nosy.
I asked my brother to hold onto my humor book, but he refused. The little punk never could take a joke.
My girlfriend may think she's saintly, but she's certainly no Jesus. Jesus never asked for a dime when he was being nailed.
There's a cannibal tribe in the Amazon that eats nothing but women. Its members are confirmed vagitarians.
I buy all my pistols from a biker called T-Rex. He's a small arms dealer.
Mugger: Hand over your wallet, or you're math!
Victim: "Math"?! Don't you mean "history"?
Mugger: Don't try to change the subject!
In my spare time, I like to join girders together. It's a riveting hobby.
It's a common mistake, when transcribing official documents, to type "Part A" backwards. So, watch out! It's a trap!
Turns out I'm 12 feet taller than my Grandpa! 'Course, he was buried last year.
I heard about a shady clown who once made a balloon animal out of condoms. It was a Trojan horse.
Q: Who led the Israelites through the semi-permeable membrane?
A: Osmoses.
There aren't many shopping options since the Target store burned down. Nothing left but Kohl's.
Only one kind of cheese is made backwards: Edam.
A Roman senator walks into a bar and holds up two fingers.
"Five beers, please."
The Pillsbury mascot Poppin' Fresh was found dead, but nobody recognized him. They had to mark him down as a John Dough.
The carpentry union is pretty demanding. I understand you have to submit a stool sample.
Jesus walks into a bar.
"Hey, hippy," smirks the bartender, "this is a high-class joint! Hope you got money... wine starts at ten dollars!"
"That so?" replies Jesus. "I'll just have a glass of water, then."
"No thanks," replied Moses. "I'll just halve water."
* * *
I've heard about a four man rock group that neither plays nor sings. It's called Mount Rushmore.
* * *
Some jokes are mom-and-pop jokes, some aren't. You won't know which is which until the punchline becomes apparent.
* * *
My girlfriend doesn't trust me. According to her diary, I'm too damned nosy.
* * *
I asked my brother to hold onto my humor book, but he refused. The little punk never could take a joke.
* * *
My girlfriend may think she's saintly, but she's certainly no Jesus. Jesus never asked for a dime when he was being nailed.
* * *
There's a cannibal tribe in the Amazon that eats nothing but women. Its members are confirmed vagitarians.
* * *
I buy all my pistols from a biker called T-Rex. He's a small arms dealer.
* * *
Mugger: Hand over your wallet, or you're math!
Victim: "Math"?! Don't you mean "history"?
Mugger: Don't try to change the subject!
* * *
In my spare time, I like to join girders together. It's a riveting hobby.
* * *
It's a common mistake, when transcribing official documents, to type "Part A" backwards. So, watch out! It's a trap!
* * *
Turns out I'm 12 feet taller than my Grandpa! 'Course, he was buried last year.
* * *
I heard about a shady clown who once made a balloon animal out of condoms. It was a Trojan horse.
* * *
Q: Who led the Israelites through the semi-permeable membrane?
A: Osmoses.
* * *
There aren't many shopping options since the Target store burned down. Nothing left but Kohl's.
* * *
Only one kind of cheese is made backwards: Edam.
* * *
A Roman senator walks into a bar and holds up two fingers.
"Five beers, please."
* * *
The Pillsbury mascot Poppin' Fresh was found dead, but nobody recognized him. They had to mark him down as a John Dough.
* * *
The carpentry union is pretty demanding. I understand you have to submit a stool sample.
* * *
Jesus walks into a bar.
"Hey, hippy," smirks the bartender, "this is a high-class joint! Hope you got money... wine starts at ten dollars!"
"That so?" replies Jesus. "I'll just have a glass of water, then."
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