Low_Roads
1st Level White Feather
- Joined
- Nov 16, 2004
- Messages
- 9,000
- Points
- 48
Last Sunday, a Florida woman was attacked by a bum. Fortunately, a man dressed in an Easter Bunny costume arrived on the scene and pummeled the thug into submission. Everyone applauded the rescuer, but they shouldn't have; the rabbit punch has been illegal for years.
I raised my pet bunny rabbit in a boarding house. He's an inn-grown hare.
Don't play with a rabbit who's been drinking whisky. Hopscotch is a kid's game.
I irritated my rabbits by leaving them in their stifling hutch all through July. I then tried to make up for it by inviting them to dinner in August. What a mistake that was! The end of summer is the wrong time of the year for hot, cross buns!
Hear about the jack rabbit who was sick and tired of his life in the wild? He got fed up with the hole thing.
You can always tell the difference between a rabbit that works out regularly and one that's pixilated. One's a fit bunny, the other's a bit funny.
A mad scientist is eager to cross a bunny rabbit with a spider; he want's to mass produce hare nets.
The whole town turned out to catch enough wild hares for our big barbecue. We combed the whole valley.
Mind you, we didn't intend to eat them; we needed plenty for the big Rabbit Race and Bunny Beauty Contest. We call this event "The Fast and the Furriest".
You can always tell when the Easter Bunny's been by; eggs marks the spot.
My last girlfriend treated me like a piece of meat. That sounded pretty good to my bar buddies; I didn't happen to mention that she's vegan.
A drone company has obtained FAA approval to make air deliveries in Virginia. Locals are referring to this as "skeet shooting with instant prizes".
I looked for my old dentist's grave-site, but couldn't find it. There wasn't any plaque.
What an unrewarding life a racehorse has, spending his whole careers running round and round a big curved track! It's entirely pointless!
My wife said she wants me to be more loving. I took her advice to heart and I got myself two new girlfriends.
An instant coffee maker has no need for an electrical plug with three prongs. That's because the beans are ground.
You should have seen me back when I was a freshman, bossing the seniors around so much they whimpered for mercy! Needless to say, I left a lasting legacy... even today, high-schoolers aren't allowed to volunteer at the nursing home.
Why did astronauts in orbit drink so much Tang?
They couldn't get 7-up.
Plenty of pioneers heading west would stop off at Madam Terry's *****house. It was a rowdy place, but the men were always careful to pay proper respect to their hostess... more than one saddle tramp died from dissin' Terry.
Dr. McCoy: "According to Starfleet medical journals, even a half-Vulcan is incapable of displaying emotions."
Mr. Spock: "I can't say I'm surprised."
Camouflage clothing is a poor fashion statement. That's why you never see anyone wearing it.
"Is your brother a boxer?"
"No, he's a concert pianist."
"How come his head is constantly bandaged?"
"He plays by ear."
* * *
I raised my pet bunny rabbit in a boarding house. He's an inn-grown hare.
* * *
Don't play with a rabbit who's been drinking whisky. Hopscotch is a kid's game.
* * *
I irritated my rabbits by leaving them in their stifling hutch all through July. I then tried to make up for it by inviting them to dinner in August. What a mistake that was! The end of summer is the wrong time of the year for hot, cross buns!
* * *
Hear about the jack rabbit who was sick and tired of his life in the wild? He got fed up with the hole thing.
* * *
You can always tell the difference between a rabbit that works out regularly and one that's pixilated. One's a fit bunny, the other's a bit funny.
* * *
A mad scientist is eager to cross a bunny rabbit with a spider; he want's to mass produce hare nets.
* * *
The whole town turned out to catch enough wild hares for our big barbecue. We combed the whole valley.
* * *
Mind you, we didn't intend to eat them; we needed plenty for the big Rabbit Race and Bunny Beauty Contest. We call this event "The Fast and the Furriest".
* * *
You can always tell when the Easter Bunny's been by; eggs marks the spot.
* * *
My last girlfriend treated me like a piece of meat. That sounded pretty good to my bar buddies; I didn't happen to mention that she's vegan.
* * *
A drone company has obtained FAA approval to make air deliveries in Virginia. Locals are referring to this as "skeet shooting with instant prizes".
* * *
I looked for my old dentist's grave-site, but couldn't find it. There wasn't any plaque.
* * *
What an unrewarding life a racehorse has, spending his whole careers running round and round a big curved track! It's entirely pointless!
* * *
My wife said she wants me to be more loving. I took her advice to heart and I got myself two new girlfriends.
* * *
An instant coffee maker has no need for an electrical plug with three prongs. That's because the beans are ground.
* * *
You should have seen me back when I was a freshman, bossing the seniors around so much they whimpered for mercy! Needless to say, I left a lasting legacy... even today, high-schoolers aren't allowed to volunteer at the nursing home.
* * *
Why did astronauts in orbit drink so much Tang?
They couldn't get 7-up.
* * *
Plenty of pioneers heading west would stop off at Madam Terry's *****house. It was a rowdy place, but the men were always careful to pay proper respect to their hostess... more than one saddle tramp died from dissin' Terry.
* * *
Dr. McCoy: "According to Starfleet medical journals, even a half-Vulcan is incapable of displaying emotions."
Mr. Spock: "I can't say I'm surprised."
* * *
Camouflage clothing is a poor fashion statement. That's why you never see anyone wearing it.
* * *
"Is your brother a boxer?"
"No, he's a concert pianist."
"How come his head is constantly bandaged?"
"He plays by ear."
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