Low_Roads
1st Level White Feather
- Joined
- Nov 16, 2004
- Messages
- 9,000
- Points
- 48
My best buddy died in a drowning accident. A bunch of us chipped in for a headstone shaped like a life jacket. I know it's what he would have wanted.
Marine biology... the perfect job for a guy who has no porpoise in his life.
I know a masseur who simply refuses to work on women. He's a real massagonist.
Someone broke into my business and stole all my important documents. I've never felt so defiled!
Germany gets rid of old Volkswagens by piling them up alongside the freeway and burning them in an auto bonfire.
I usually have to throw out my kids' animal crackers. A warning on the box states: "Do not eat if seal is broken".
Definition of "bigamy": one wife too many.
Definition of "monogamy": same damned thing.
Instead of being embalmed or cremated, I intend to have my body liquified. I'm eager to get drunk at my wake.
Troubling reports have come in about hostilities along the Danish/German border. Analysts are referring to it as the DanGer zone.
I ordered a male peacock, but I received a female instead. Damn it! I don't need another peacunt!
It's "Jamaican Hair Day" at work tomorrow. I'm already dreading it.
Clark Kent would make a for a mighty strict father. His kids would be subject to constant super vision.
I've taught my Labradoodle dog to chuckle. He's now a Snickerdoodle.
They call it The Happy Fiddle Hotel, but it's actually a vile inn.
I just broke up with my psychiatrist girlfriend. I wasn't afraid of commitment before, but I am now!
"Vaccinations are the bunk! I won't have one until pigs take to the skies!"
"Get to the hospital, then. Swine flu."
I have sex daily. Sorry... I mean dyslexia.
My wife didn't think I could fix the toaster. Is she in for a shock!
Whatever endeavor you pursue, make sure to give 100%! Unless, of course, you're giving blood...
I made a New Year's resolution to lose 10 pounds. Only 15 more to go!
The girl I was having sex with last night kept yelling "Help police!" Like I really care about her charity work!
A blonde believes her husband is having an affair, so she buys a handgun. Sure enough, she comes home early to find him in bed with another woman. Instantly, she whips out the pistol and holds it to her head.
"Don't do it!" screams her husband.
"Shut up, bastard!" she wails. "You're next!"
* * *
Marine biology... the perfect job for a guy who has no porpoise in his life.
* * *
I know a masseur who simply refuses to work on women. He's a real massagonist.
* * *
Someone broke into my business and stole all my important documents. I've never felt so defiled!
* * *
Germany gets rid of old Volkswagens by piling them up alongside the freeway and burning them in an auto bonfire.
* * *
I usually have to throw out my kids' animal crackers. A warning on the box states: "Do not eat if seal is broken".
* * *
Definition of "bigamy": one wife too many.
Definition of "monogamy": same damned thing.
* * *
Instead of being embalmed or cremated, I intend to have my body liquified. I'm eager to get drunk at my wake.
* * *
Troubling reports have come in about hostilities along the Danish/German border. Analysts are referring to it as the DanGer zone.
* * *
I ordered a male peacock, but I received a female instead. Damn it! I don't need another peacunt!
* * *
It's "Jamaican Hair Day" at work tomorrow. I'm already dreading it.
* * *
Clark Kent would make a for a mighty strict father. His kids would be subject to constant super vision.
* * *
I've taught my Labradoodle dog to chuckle. He's now a Snickerdoodle.
* * *
They call it The Happy Fiddle Hotel, but it's actually a vile inn.
* * *
I just broke up with my psychiatrist girlfriend. I wasn't afraid of commitment before, but I am now!
* * *
"Vaccinations are the bunk! I won't have one until pigs take to the skies!"
"Get to the hospital, then. Swine flu."
* * *
I have sex daily. Sorry... I mean dyslexia.
* * *
My wife didn't think I could fix the toaster. Is she in for a shock!
* * *
Whatever endeavor you pursue, make sure to give 100%! Unless, of course, you're giving blood...
* * *
I made a New Year's resolution to lose 10 pounds. Only 15 more to go!
* * *
The girl I was having sex with last night kept yelling "Help police!" Like I really care about her charity work!
* * *
A blonde believes her husband is having an affair, so she buys a handgun. Sure enough, she comes home early to find him in bed with another woman. Instantly, she whips out the pistol and holds it to her head.
"Don't do it!" screams her husband.
"Shut up, bastard!" she wails. "You're next!"
