Low_Roads
1st Level White Feather
- Joined
- Nov 16, 2004
- Messages
- 9,000
- Points
- 48
Enlisted men are always exhausted in April... which is to be expected after a 31 day March.
Our zoo actually holds a specimen of unicorn. Unfortunately, its horn has been amputated... it's now just a eunuch.
I finally got a photo of a Sasquatch! No small feat!
A Mafia Don employs me to clean his apartment. Guess you could say I'm a maid man.
I plan to retire at 30. Or sooner, if Uniroyal gives me a lower service number.
The guy who wrote "The Hokey Pokey" died last week. His burial was a fiasco... first, they put his right foot in...
I got ahold of some bad alphabet soup. My next bowel movement is liable to spell trouble.
If you want to kill a carnival, go for the juggler.
I once accidentally sent a nude photo of myself to everyone in my address book. Not only was it embarrassing, but it cost a small fortune in stamps.
A bulimic lady in the next apartment was making so much noise I had to pound on her door and insist that she keep it down.
I had Chinese/German food last night. An hour later I was hungry for power.
Hear about the weirdo who kidnaps hookers, then dunks them in pancake mix? His victims are being treated at the Battered Women's Shelter.
I've been hunting for my wife's killer five months now. Haven't yet found anyone who's willing to do it.
Did you know you can drop an egg on a concrete sidewalk without cracking it? You bet you can! Concrete is hard as hell!
I always try to go the extra mile for my customers. 'Course, most folks tend to resent that in a cabbie.
A tragedy at my sheep ranch: my prize ram ran right off a cliff and fell to his death. He just didn't see the ewe turn.
Sign outside a brothel: "We're closed for the day. Beat it!"
I like to enter my hedgehog in pet shows. I consider him a roll model.
Have you seen the gorgeous lady presenter at the Apple booth? She's major ICandy!
Damn boss left my pink slip sitting on the coffee maker. Guess he considered it grounds for termination.
People who earn their living crushing aluminum cans are an unhappy lot. Their job is soda pressing.
Double amputees make me furious! I just can't stand them!
A burglar broke into my house and stole every lamp I own. I'm both upset and delighted.
Our zoo actually holds a specimen of unicorn. Unfortunately, its horn has been amputated... it's now just a eunuch.
I finally got a photo of a Sasquatch! No small feat!
A Mafia Don employs me to clean his apartment. Guess you could say I'm a maid man.
I plan to retire at 30. Or sooner, if Uniroyal gives me a lower service number.
The guy who wrote "The Hokey Pokey" died last week. His burial was a fiasco... first, they put his right foot in...
I got ahold of some bad alphabet soup. My next bowel movement is liable to spell trouble.
If you want to kill a carnival, go for the juggler.
I once accidentally sent a nude photo of myself to everyone in my address book. Not only was it embarrassing, but it cost a small fortune in stamps.
A bulimic lady in the next apartment was making so much noise I had to pound on her door and insist that she keep it down.
I had Chinese/German food last night. An hour later I was hungry for power.
Hear about the weirdo who kidnaps hookers, then dunks them in pancake mix? His victims are being treated at the Battered Women's Shelter.
I've been hunting for my wife's killer five months now. Haven't yet found anyone who's willing to do it.
Did you know you can drop an egg on a concrete sidewalk without cracking it? You bet you can! Concrete is hard as hell!
I always try to go the extra mile for my customers. 'Course, most folks tend to resent that in a cabbie.
A tragedy at my sheep ranch: my prize ram ran right off a cliff and fell to his death. He just didn't see the ewe turn.
Sign outside a brothel: "We're closed for the day. Beat it!"
I like to enter my hedgehog in pet shows. I consider him a roll model.
Have you seen the gorgeous lady presenter at the Apple booth? She's major ICandy!
Damn boss left my pink slip sitting on the coffee maker. Guess he considered it grounds for termination.
People who earn their living crushing aluminum cans are an unhappy lot. Their job is soda pressing.
Double amputees make me furious! I just can't stand them!
A burglar broke into my house and stole every lamp I own. I'm both upset and delighted.
