Low_Roads
1st Level White Feather
- Joined
- Nov 16, 2004
- Messages
- 9,000
- Points
- 48
Everyone says I'm average. That's just mean!
That trail hand's hat is made from paper towels. Bet he's got a bounty on his head!
Yesterday I crossed the road, walked into a bar and changed a lightbulb. My life's a joke!
Microbiology humor:
Why did the germ cross the microscope?
To get to the other slide.
My wife has memorialized every important life event by sewing it into a quilt. Her entire history is fabricated.
A researcher is investigating canine/human bestiality. He's very committed to the project... in fact, he's in his lab right now.
I accidentally handed my wife a tube of super glue instead of the lipstick. She doesn't seem upset about it... I haven't heard a single word of complaint.
Why did the chicken cross Hollywood Boulevard?
To see Gregory Peck.
John: You damn 10 dollar *****! You gave me crabs!
Prostitute: What do you expect for 10 dollars? Lobster?
Trump was addressing a group of Obama supporters. He's trying to convince them that orange is the new black.
Paper money is definitely more valuable than coin. Put it in your pocket, you double it... take out again, you find it in creases.
The python can grow up to 24 feet! No, wait... that's the caterpillar.
Ohio and Michigan once had a shooting war in a border town. Holey Toledo!
The difference between a toff on a trike and a bum on a bike is simply a matter of attire.
As a youngster, I was forced to walk the plank. We couldn't afford a dog.
Parachute for sale. Used only once. Never opened. Slight stain.
I heard about this African lion who turned cannibal. He may be ready for help... I understand he's swallowed his pride.
Chuck Norris is so damned tough that when he does push-ups, he isn't pushing himself up. He's pushing the world down.
When Chuck Norris wants a salad, he eats a vegetarian.
Jesus could walk on water; Chuck Norris swims through land.
Chuck Norris went to war.
Chuck Norris pulled the pin from a grenade.
Chuck Norris threw the grenade.
Chuck Norris killed 50 men.
Then the grenade went off.
I've been told I'm a procrastinator. I'll look into that tomorrow.
* * *
That trail hand's hat is made from paper towels. Bet he's got a bounty on his head!
* * *
Yesterday I crossed the road, walked into a bar and changed a lightbulb. My life's a joke!
* * *
Microbiology humor:
Why did the germ cross the microscope?
To get to the other slide.
* * *
My wife has memorialized every important life event by sewing it into a quilt. Her entire history is fabricated.
* * *
A researcher is investigating canine/human bestiality. He's very committed to the project... in fact, he's in his lab right now.
* * *
I accidentally handed my wife a tube of super glue instead of the lipstick. She doesn't seem upset about it... I haven't heard a single word of complaint.
* * *
Why did the chicken cross Hollywood Boulevard?
To see Gregory Peck.
* * *
John: You damn 10 dollar *****! You gave me crabs!
Prostitute: What do you expect for 10 dollars? Lobster?
* * *
Trump was addressing a group of Obama supporters. He's trying to convince them that orange is the new black.
* * *
Paper money is definitely more valuable than coin. Put it in your pocket, you double it... take out again, you find it in creases.
* * *
The python can grow up to 24 feet! No, wait... that's the caterpillar.
* * *
Ohio and Michigan once had a shooting war in a border town. Holey Toledo!
* * *
The difference between a toff on a trike and a bum on a bike is simply a matter of attire.
* * *
As a youngster, I was forced to walk the plank. We couldn't afford a dog.
* * *
Parachute for sale. Used only once. Never opened. Slight stain.
* * *
I heard about this African lion who turned cannibal. He may be ready for help... I understand he's swallowed his pride.
* * *
Chuck Norris is so damned tough that when he does push-ups, he isn't pushing himself up. He's pushing the world down.
* * *
When Chuck Norris wants a salad, he eats a vegetarian.
* * *
Jesus could walk on water; Chuck Norris swims through land.
* * *
Chuck Norris went to war.
Chuck Norris pulled the pin from a grenade.
Chuck Norris threw the grenade.
Chuck Norris killed 50 men.
Then the grenade went off.
* * *
I've been told I'm a procrastinator. I'll look into that tomorrow.
