Low_Roads
1st Level White Feather
- Joined
- Nov 16, 2004
- Messages
- 9,000
- Points
- 48
I bought myself three comics and the final page was missing from each one of them. Guess I'll have to draw my own conclusions.
Q: Why did psycho chicken cross the road?
A: To kill on the other side.
I think my Mom's developed a bad sinus condition. I'd ask her about it, but it might seem too nosy.
An impoverished knight once sent messages to all his friends, urging to do likewise. He was desperate for chain mail.
I must confess that I often lie on my tax returns. It's cheaper than buying a mattress.
Some people commit murder and some only commit attempted murder. The difference is successful execution.
Kids will laugh at anything. Filmmakers know this and load up their movies with trivial scenes of characters passing gas. Youngsters may find that funny, but personally I prefer humor with more substance.
Officer: "Have arrived at the scene. Am observing suspect dancing naked in the middle of the street."
"Dispatcher: "Copy that."
Officer: "Cannot do. I have no sense of rhythm."
I was lying in bed, counting sheep, when it suddenly occurred to me: I completely neglected to shut the pasture gate.
My mom just won a million dollars in the lottery! Now the lot of us are heading down to Lenscrafters for new glasses! After that?... we'll see.
My sister just got into playing bondage games with some creep who dresses up in shellfish costumes. Never thought I'd say this, but she's become a mussel-bound freak.
Financial success is relative. It was for Trump, anyway.
In South Carolina, they have a novel way of referring to divorce: secession from the union.
Have you ever seen pictures of Mount Rushmore before the carving started? At that point, the project was considered unpresidented.
No one taught me about electricity when I was a kid. Imagine my shock when I got grounded!
She: "This new black coverlet you bought for my bed... it looks just like a shroud! Expect me to ever use this? Over my dead body!"
He: "Glad you like the idea!"
When I was young, I was so scrawny my brothers used me as their soccer ball. That might seem abusive, but I got a kick out of it.
A man's doctor started cheating on him with his wife. It was the easiest way to get him to start eating an apple a day.
Mama Trout and Papa Trout were awfully proud of Junior. Even so, they disowned him after he got caught with a hooker.
Waldo's awfully skinny. That's 'cause he never works out. It does him no good at all to go to the gym weight room... no one ever spots him.
Jesus knew that his disciples would never let him down. He was proud of that fact until he was up there on the cross.
Wanna see democracy in action? Let me demonstrate for you...
* * *
Q: Why did psycho chicken cross the road?
A: To kill on the other side.
* * *
I think my Mom's developed a bad sinus condition. I'd ask her about it, but it might seem too nosy.
* * *
An impoverished knight once sent messages to all his friends, urging to do likewise. He was desperate for chain mail.
* * *
I must confess that I often lie on my tax returns. It's cheaper than buying a mattress.
* * *
Some people commit murder and some only commit attempted murder. The difference is successful execution.
* * *
Kids will laugh at anything. Filmmakers know this and load up their movies with trivial scenes of characters passing gas. Youngsters may find that funny, but personally I prefer humor with more substance.
* * *
Officer: "Have arrived at the scene. Am observing suspect dancing naked in the middle of the street."
"Dispatcher: "Copy that."
Officer: "Cannot do. I have no sense of rhythm."
* * *
I was lying in bed, counting sheep, when it suddenly occurred to me: I completely neglected to shut the pasture gate.
* * *
My mom just won a million dollars in the lottery! Now the lot of us are heading down to Lenscrafters for new glasses! After that?... we'll see.
* * *
My sister just got into playing bondage games with some creep who dresses up in shellfish costumes. Never thought I'd say this, but she's become a mussel-bound freak.
* * *
Financial success is relative. It was for Trump, anyway.
* * *
In South Carolina, they have a novel way of referring to divorce: secession from the union.
* * *
Have you ever seen pictures of Mount Rushmore before the carving started? At that point, the project was considered unpresidented.
* * *
No one taught me about electricity when I was a kid. Imagine my shock when I got grounded!
* * *
She: "This new black coverlet you bought for my bed... it looks just like a shroud! Expect me to ever use this? Over my dead body!"
He: "Glad you like the idea!"
* * *
When I was young, I was so scrawny my brothers used me as their soccer ball. That might seem abusive, but I got a kick out of it.
* * *
A man's doctor started cheating on him with his wife. It was the easiest way to get him to start eating an apple a day.
* * *
Mama Trout and Papa Trout were awfully proud of Junior. Even so, they disowned him after he got caught with a hooker.
* * *
Waldo's awfully skinny. That's 'cause he never works out. It does him no good at all to go to the gym weight room... no one ever spots him.
* * *
Jesus knew that his disciples would never let him down. He was proud of that fact until he was up there on the cross.
* * *
Wanna see democracy in action? Let me demonstrate for you...
