Low_Roads
1st Level White Feather
- Joined
- Nov 16, 2004
- Messages
- 9,000
- Points
- 48
Last week I asked a pretty street person if I could take her home. She thought it was a swell idea until I walked off with her cardboard box.
My sister tells me Mr. Peanut is her love slave. She's fucking nuts!
I've quit drinking for good.
I'm now drinking for evil.
A funny pun is its own reword.
My medical records are in constant turmoil... no one seems to be able to identify my blood properly. It's Type-O.
Cops couldn't solve the case of the flat auto battery. They had no leads.
A busty blonde walks into a laundromat with a badly soiled tee shirt.
"Will normal detergent get this out?" she inquires of the hard-of-hearing attendant.
"Come again?" he asks.
"No," she returns. "It's just mayonnaise this time."
A writer was charged with using an excessive number of commas and semi-colons. The judge warned him to expect a long sentence.
I just got fired from my job at the clock factory. And after all the extra hours I put in!
Moses descended from Mount Sinai with his tablet. He took a look at it and saw the notification: "You have 10 unread commandments."
I met a girl in a bar; her name was Comic Sans. Nothing came of it... she just wasn't my type.
I asked to switch seats on a plane because I was located right next to a caterwauling baby. They turned me down, though... they aren't at all sympathetic when the baby happens to be your own.
The inventor of the knock-knock joke was recently spotted in Stockholm. Seems he was awarded a No-bell prize.
I just started a unique business: glass-coffin funerals. Will it be a success? Remains to be seen.
Why did the gamer cross the road?
Buy the DLC to find out!
I can hardly believe it, but I'm able to cut down a tree just by staring at it! I saw it with my own eyes!
There was an old man who lived in a tire. It had a puncture and now he lives in a flat.
I'm just crazy about fruit! You might even say I'm plum loco!
Midwife humor slays me! It's all in the delivery!
I accidentally screamed out my mother's name during sex last night. Sis was extremely upset about it.
Two wind turbines walk into a bar. The first says, "Hey, there's a juke box in the corner. Let's have some music!"
"Sure," says the second. "What do you want to hear?"
"Find some Zeppelin," the first replies. "I'm a big heavy metal fan."
The Taiwanese are reputedly domineering, aggressive people. I suppose that's to be expected from a Taipei personality.
* * *
My sister tells me Mr. Peanut is her love slave. She's fucking nuts!
* * *
I've quit drinking for good.
I'm now drinking for evil.
* * *
A funny pun is its own reword.
* * *
My medical records are in constant turmoil... no one seems to be able to identify my blood properly. It's Type-O.
* * *
Cops couldn't solve the case of the flat auto battery. They had no leads.
* * *
A busty blonde walks into a laundromat with a badly soiled tee shirt.
"Will normal detergent get this out?" she inquires of the hard-of-hearing attendant.
"Come again?" he asks.
"No," she returns. "It's just mayonnaise this time."
* * *
A writer was charged with using an excessive number of commas and semi-colons. The judge warned him to expect a long sentence.
* * *
I just got fired from my job at the clock factory. And after all the extra hours I put in!
* * *
Moses descended from Mount Sinai with his tablet. He took a look at it and saw the notification: "You have 10 unread commandments."
* * *
I met a girl in a bar; her name was Comic Sans. Nothing came of it... she just wasn't my type.
* * *
I asked to switch seats on a plane because I was located right next to a caterwauling baby. They turned me down, though... they aren't at all sympathetic when the baby happens to be your own.
* * *
The inventor of the knock-knock joke was recently spotted in Stockholm. Seems he was awarded a No-bell prize.
* * *
I just started a unique business: glass-coffin funerals. Will it be a success? Remains to be seen.
* * *
Why did the gamer cross the road?
Buy the DLC to find out!
* * *
I can hardly believe it, but I'm able to cut down a tree just by staring at it! I saw it with my own eyes!
* * *
There was an old man who lived in a tire. It had a puncture and now he lives in a flat.
* * *
I'm just crazy about fruit! You might even say I'm plum loco!
* * *
Midwife humor slays me! It's all in the delivery!
* * *
I accidentally screamed out my mother's name during sex last night. Sis was extremely upset about it.
* * *
Two wind turbines walk into a bar. The first says, "Hey, there's a juke box in the corner. Let's have some music!"
"Sure," says the second. "What do you want to hear?"
"Find some Zeppelin," the first replies. "I'm a big heavy metal fan."
* * *
The Taiwanese are reputedly domineering, aggressive people. I suppose that's to be expected from a Taipei personality.
