Friend Tickling And How to Stop it

[Camel26]

When I was single, I got tickled a lot. Usually by friends, and I didn't mind it so much. Now that I'm not single, and tickling is a part of that relationship, I still get tickled by friends, but I feel weird about it, like I'm cheating on my girlfriend. I don't ask my friends to tickle me--they just do, because they think it's funny to make me twitch/squirm/etc. And now that I've started telling a few select people about my fetish (I told 3 people in the past week...it's CRAZY!!!), I find I'm feeling increasingly awkward about having friends even touch me. This happened in high school when I was afraid of people finding me out. But my friend was here last nite watching a movie with a bunch of people and my roomies and she just started tickling the shit out of me...repeatedly. How do I tell her to stop without telling her/letting on that I like it??? 😛 Should I feel weird about letting her tickle me? Am I overreacting by saying I feel like I'm cheating on my ler by letting her tickle me??

Thanks in advance for any constructive advice.

 

[stubaru6661]

personally, i don't see it as cheating.
as long as there is only tickling going on and nothing else more, er, extreme *ahem*, it's ok.

 

[F.L. Atlanta 10]

When I was single, I got tickled a lot. Usually by friends, and I didn't mind it so much. Now that I'm not single, and tickling is a part of that relationship, I still get tickled by friends, but I feel weird about it, like I'm cheating on my girlfriend. I don't ask my friends to tickle me--they just do, because they think it's funny to make me twitch/squirm/etc. And now that I've started telling a few select people about my fetish (I told 3 people in the past week...it's CRAZY!!!), I find I'm feeling increasingly awkward about having friends even touch me. This happened in high school when I was afraid of people finding me out. But my friend was here last nite watching a movie with a bunch of people and my roomies and she just started tickling the shit out of me...repeatedly. How do I tell her to stop without telling her/letting on that I like it??? 😛 Should I feel weird about letting her tickle me? Am I overreacting by saying I feel like I'm cheating on my ler by letting her tickle me??

Thanks in advance for any constructive advice.

Camel, being tickled by another person is not cheating. Since you like it, I would say that getting tickled by anyone should be viewed as a blessing, not a curse. If it would make you feel better, tell your LER about it and ask her what she thinks. I don't think that you should feel wierd about the whole situation at all.

 

[AphroditeRabbit]

Well I think the point is, regardless if it isn't cheating, it makes her feel as if it is. She feels uncomfortable and doesn't want to feel that way.

I think the most graceful way is to tell them you don't feel comfortable with them doing that. Or if they start say, "Please don't do that" and move to a different location. If you're looking for a more playful way to do it that fits your personality find a different way of wording it that sounds funny. Usually people don't take a offense when you take blame for something that's wrong even when it's them. (Example you say, "Gah don't do that to me! I have issues with that!" or "I'm just paranoid, so please don't do that" while laughing and joking around instead of saying something like, "Get off me I hate it when you do that because you shouldn't be". The word "you" changes it it from something you aren't comfortable with to something that's totally their fault. I'm sure they are still in the mindset that it's okay since you loved it so much before your single days were over.

Actually come to think of it, here's a better idea. If you are sitting with your roomie one day in opposite sides of the room, just refer to a few days back when someone ELSE tickled you (who wasen't your girlfriend) and express how it makes you feel uncomfortable now because something like that is special between you and your girlfriend. If she's not terribly dense she should get the hint not to do it anymore while you can save her embarrassment by not outright accusing her of offending you.
Something like:
"You know a few days back *blank* jumped me and started tickling me all over. Normally I wouldn't mind so much, but since I'm with my girlfriend it made me feel really uncomfortable because it's something we like to share together." Then ask HER what you should do -laughs- I'm sure you could word it this way to everyone you talk to, to end it on good terms with everyone. Good luck Camel 🙂

 

[Camel26]

Thanks everyone...

I love this girl to death...she's a really good friend of both my girlfriend and myself...and I love being tickled...I can't even really pinpoint if it's that I feel like I'm cheating or if it just genuinely scares me that, because this friend has tickled me since she met me, if she realizes that I LOVE it as much as I do, she'll get weirded out and be scared off...I dunno...and I told her last nite to get off as my girlfriend is the only one allowed to tickle me...and, as my girlfriend is one of her best friends, she said, "she's away, so someone has to do it!" Under any other circumstance, I'd say, "Sweet!" But something is holding me back this time...argh...talk about cognitive dissonance...

 

[mart]

Yeah, I agree with the others. You are really saying "I like t.he ticking but I have a bad conscience." So you think you should stop the tickling - but you a
can also just stop the bad conscience. That way you get the best of both worlds

 

[nessonite1]

I was going to write something but I was pretty much repeating AR so I won't.
😛
Light a candle...meditate...go on a spiritual journey to find yourself. 🙂 You just need to determine what it is that's making you feel uncomfortable and have a talk with your gf about it. She'll probably be able to reassure you better than any of us (since it's she that you're feeling unfaithful with) that you can still enjoy playful tickling with friends and be able to seperate it from more intimate experiences with her. 😀
Good luck!

 

[Camel26]

I talked to my girlfriend today...she doesn't care if our friend tickles me...and as long as she says it's ok, then I guess it's ok...I'm still afraid of her finding me out though...oh well...all in good fun...and man does she ever like making me squirm...😉

 

[nessonite1]

Rock on, Camel!

 

[Goodieluver]

I say let the tickles continue, then wait for your gf to get back and you guys have some nice playful revenge on your friend

Alls fair in love and war::smirk::

 

[GEORGIATKLER]

Now Humpster, There Are Children In China And Old Men In Georgia Starving For A Good Tickle....... No Wait, That's The Eat Your Brussel Sprouts Sermon. You And Miss 'ler Are So Lucky To Really Care For Each Other And Not Sweat The Small Stuff That Can Still Tear Us Apart. You Know You Mind, Heart And Soul Belong To Your Lover. Not To Mention...... Enjoy A Playfull Tickle If You Can With The Freind. You Are Saving The Really Gooooooooooood Tickles For Miss Ler. If She Won't Leave You Alone I Can Give You Lessons In Making Women Ignore You! Lol!

 

[HOLLYWOOD]

well you see ticke theatre the hollywood brother take on this is to get tickled camel26! Your ler is away and you were lonly. now you got a friend who is filling a big void in your life. Let this friend help you. do not say a word to her. just have some good old all american hollywood brother tickling adventures and be happy

 

[TickledToDeath]

Yeah you are overreacting a bit. So long as it doesn't go beyond tickling, IF ya know what I mean, there should be no guilt or problem UNless your significant other has a problem with it. It is nice that you feel the way you do in a way that you are concerned about how your gf may feel but in general, unless there is some......feelings you are harboring for this "friend" who is or was tickling you.......laugh on and don't let it get to ya.

TTD

 

[Camel26]

Thanks guys...I'm not into her like that...she's like a little sister to me...I just don't want my girl to worry...and since I got the go ahead...well, it's ok I guess...and it is fun...too bad it's not her thing...I think she could tickle with the best of us!!! 😉

 

[Exile1]

I guess it just depends on whether or not it chafes your conscience.
Because of the way it majorly turns me on to be tickled by someone of the
opposite sex, it makes me feel uncomfortable to have it done to me (considering I'm about to get married in two days).

I mean, looking at a sexy woman at my workplace or when I'm out shopping
might turn me on just a little, but being tickled is an extremely erotic and
sexually oriented experience for me. I guess everyone has different thresholds, and ultimately it's more about the individual's feelings.

But I can tell you that I've had to take a few of my female friends aside
and explain the situation to them. I'm always frank and honest.
I just tell them that I'm really turned on to be tickled by someone of
the opposite sex and that it makes me feel quite uncomfortable.
Every single one of them have been perfectly understanding.
Maybe even intrigued a bit. 😉

 

[toneus79]

You surprise and disappoint me Camel. There was I thinking you were a Tickle Slut like the rest of us (Lee's).

 

[Camel26]

I'm very loyal to my girlfriend...and to the relationship we have...I guess I just wanted the OK from her...and I got it!!! WHOO!!! 😛 Going to a fetish party on this weekend...with some likeminded people...SO EXCITED!!!!!!!!!!

 

[chickles_:)]

Hiya Camel! :happy:
It sounds like you've worked this one out for yourself, partly with the help of the wiser and more sensitive comments on this thread.
I'm really happy for you!

It is true that there is nothing immediately or inherantly cheating about tickling. But i can totally understand how you have felt this way. And that is legit if it was true for you. (i'm gathering it isn't anymore.)

But maybe it's worth sharing a word for others who may look to this thread to help sort out their own questions.

I'd guess by where you got started with this whole question is that tickling is a major part of your relationship with your gf. I'm also guessing that even if you don't get the same feelings of attraction inside when others tickle you mad, you have a body-memory of the sexual joy you feel when your sig-other works over your weakspots 😉.

In a way, because tickling can be intimate, it sort of lines up with things like going for lunch or catching a movie. there's nothing especially wrong with that. It more depends on how it feels inside you and the relationship when you do it.

As you say, hearing from your gf that she's cool with it is the big step. That can help any of us do things which aren't bad in themselves. After that it's a matter of being clear in our own hearts. Am i doing this (tickling or having lunch) because it's just plain fun or am i feeling an attraction to this person which i want to keep exclusive to my sig-other?

Generally, we already know the answer before we even ask the question.:up_arrow:

I hope that helps some. 🙂

Many blessings everyone, from one regular victim to the others. 🙄

 

[tickleteasing]

I can understand how something like this might make you uncomfortable considering that some associate tickling so much with sex and have a hard time thinking otherwise, not that you do but I know some people do.

 

[drizzay01]

Camel, What you were doing wasn't cheating... because, it seemed like before you had the okay from your girlfriend, you weren't asking to be tickled...and now that you do have permission, it is okay that you're doing what you're doing...buut, I want to say something to the people who commented on this entry

If you share our fetish (which you obviously do, since you are on this site, reading this) And you are dating someone. IT IS CHEATING TO TICKLE OR BE TICKLED BY OTHER PEOPLE. If you have premission to do it from your boyfriend/girlfriend, then it makes it okay, but, when tickling means something sexual to you, it is the same as...well...doing something "Sexual" to other people.

It is cheating. I don't see how you can sit home and get off to tickling, and then say "Well, it's only tickling, so I can do it to whoever I want"

(now, if you are into tickling for simply the joy of tickling, then...it's a completely different story.)

 

[toneus79]

Chickles - I just like to say what a brilliant name that is. Why it makes me want to have lunch with you all day. Even to the point when you would be screaming "please no more bread rolls, but just one more bit of gateaux"

 

[Camel26]

Chickles and Goofy,

Thank you for putting my thoughts/feelings into words...I couldn't have said any of that better myself...which is why I needed the ok from my girl...

And ya know what? It doesn't turn me on when other people tickle me...the guy I met at the fetish party tickled me last nite, and it was just fun, platonic, friendly feeling tickles...even though he attempted to tickle many of the spots that when my girlfriend works over, I almost explode in ecstacy...so it is sexual for me...and I let her know that he tickled me but that it was completely platonic, and it's all good...she's cool...she knows that it only turns me on when she does it...and that, at the end of the day, no matter who tickles me, she is my ler...no one else...she is the woman I come home to every nite...my partner...my lover...my better half...THAT is why I needed some feedback...because I love/respect her and our relationship so much that I would never dream of damaging it in the slightest...so thank you for the couple of responses that were constructive...if you knew us, you wouldn't think I was overreacting, or you wouldn't be surprised I'm not a tickle slut like I used to be...so thank you all for the positive feedback...and I hope that if anyone is ever in my situation, the info that members of our community have posted here helps you out...

 

[chickles_:)]

Hiya Camel! :happy:
I'm so glad what i put down somehow supported your good relationship. Whenever I get to do that, my life feels like it means something. So thanks for sharing your words! You made my day, girl! 😀 Many Zen-hugs to you and your girlfriend!! May love bloom long for both of you, perfuming your lives with happiness. 😍😍

Actually, I appreciate you raising the question, Camel, It was kind of helpful to me to think about too since i've recently started seeing a guy on a more exclusive basis. 😱

Chickles - I just like to say what a brilliant name that is. Why it makes me want to have lunch with you all day. Even to the point when you would be screaming "please no more bread rolls, but just one more bit of gateaux"

*heeheehee* thank you ever so much for those kind words, Toneus! I'm glad you enjoy my name! When it popped into my brain - the way most crazy ideas do:laughing:- it just seemed to reveal my soul.:happy:

As for lunch,, *woohoo* bread rolls and gateaux??

If only all the really good food didn't travel quite so fast from the mouth to the hips. LOL *shrug*:laughing: Oh well.

Your plan sounds delightful!

many blessings,

 

[Camel26]

Hiya Camel! :happy:
I'm so glad what i put down somehow supported your good relationship. Whenever I get to do that, my life feels like it means something. So thanks for sharing your words! You made my day, girl! 😀 Many Zen-hugs to you and your girlfriend!! May love bloom long for both of you, perfuming your lives with happiness. 😍😍

Actually, I appreciate you raising the question, Camel, It was kind of helpful to me to think about too since i've recently started seeing a guy on a more exclusive basis. 😱

*blushes deeply* I'm sending the love right back at you...that just made my day even better...and I didn't think it could get any better...

And congrats to you on the start of a new relationship...he's an intensely fortunate man to have won the affections of such an intelligent, funny, sweet, classy woman as yourself...enjoy yourselves...you young whipper-snappers!!! 😉 I'm so happy you're happy!!!!!! Life is sweet...

 

[chickles_:)]

Hiya Camela! :happy:

*blushes deeply* I'm sending the love right back at you...that just made my day even better...and I didn't think it could get any better...
And congrats to you on the start of a new relationship...he's an intensely fortunate man to have won the affections of such an intelligent, funny, sweet, classy woman as yourself...enjoy yourselves...you young whipper-snappers!!! I'm so happy you're happy!!!!!! Life is sweet...

I don't know who paid you to say all those wild things about me, girl, but i'm betting their cheque will bounce. LOL.

You're WAY too kind! 😱😱😱

the truth is that Richard's a really sweet guy who among other things isn't afraid or too freaked out to indulge my ticklishness. 😀😀

But i'll stop there only to say that like your sig-other, he's also really cool about others taking full advantage of my weakness, as long as he's the only one who gets to tickle with kisses.

I thought i'd share that because it relates to what we've been talking about here. While anyone can tickle me and it's okay, there's a special way that i only let him tickle me, and that helps to separate and clarify the context.

I hope that helps people a little too.

Once again, at the risk of giving us both a serious case of diabetes,,, LOL.
Camela, you so made my day with your thoughtful encouragement! Your gf is so totally fortunate to have a cool and smart and awesome and funloving gf in you!! :awe::awe:

Many happy blessings to you,