Dave2112
Level of Cherry Feather
- Joined
- Apr 17, 2001
- Messages
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Fun Things To Do At WalMart
1. Take shopping carts for the express purpose of filling them
and stranding them at strategic locations.
2. Ride those little electronic cars at the front of the store.
3. Set all the alarm clocks to go off at ten minute intervals throughout the day.
4. Start playing with the singing fish, dancing Santa, etc;
see how many people you can get to join in.
5. Contaminate the entire auto department by sampling all the spray air fresheners.
6. Challenge other customers to duels with tubes of gift wrap.
7. Leave cryptic messages on the computer screens,
then change the access passwords.
8. Re-dress the mannequins as you see fit.
9. When there are people behind you, walk REALLY SLOW,
especially thin narrow aisles.
10. Walk up to an employee and tell him in an official tone,
"I think we've got a Code 3 in Housewares," and see what happens.
11. Tune all the radios to a polka station;
then turn them all off and turn the volumes to "10".
12. Play with the automatic doors.
13. Walk up to complete strangers and say,
"Hi! I haven't seen you in so long!..." etc.
See if they play along to avoid embarrassment.
14. While walking through the clothing department,
ask yourself loud enough for all to hear,
"Who BUYS this crap, anyway?"
15. Repeat Number 14 in the jewelry department.
16. Ride a display bicycle through the store; claim you're taking it for a "test drive."
17. Follow people through the aisles, always staying about five feet away.
Continue to do this until they leave the department.
18. Play soccer with a group of friends, using the entire store as your playing field.
19. As the cashier runs your purchases over the scanner,
look mesmerized and say, "Wow. It's Magic!"
20. Put M&M's on layaway.
21. Move "Caution: Wet Floor" signs to the carpeted areas.
22. Set up a tent in the camping department;
tell others you'll only invite them in if they bring pillows from Bed and Bath.
23. Test the fishing rods and see what you can "catch" from the other aisles.
24. Ask other customers if they have any Grey Poupon.
25. Drape a blanket around your shoulders and run around saying,
"...I'm Batman. Hurry Robin--to the Batcave!"
26. TP as much of the store as possible.
27. Randomly throw things over into neighboring aisles.
28. Play with the calculators so that they all spell "hello" upside down.
29. When someone asks if you need help, begin to cry and ask,
"Why won't you people just leave me alone?"
30. When two or three people are walking ahead of you,
run between them, yelling, "Red Rover!"
31. Make up nonsense products and ask newly hired employees if there are any in stock,
i.e., "Do you have any Shnerples here?"
32. Take up an entire aisle in Toys by setting up a full scale battlefield
with G.I. Joes vs. the X-Men.
33. Take bets on the battle described above.
34. Nonchalantly "test" the brushes and combs in Cosmetics.
35.While handling guns in the hunting department,
suddenly ask the clerk where the pharmacy is
because you need a refill on your anti-depressants/Prozac.
Act as spastic as possible.
36. Hold indoor shopping cart races.
37. Dart around suspiciously while humming the theme from "Mission:Impossible."
38. Attempt to fit into very large gym bags.
39. Attempt to fit others into very large gym bags.
40. Say things like,
"Would you be so kind as to direct me to your Twinkies/DingDongs/CupCakes?"
41. Set up a "Valet Parking" sign in front of the store.
42. Two words: "Marco Polo."
43. Leave Cheerios in Lawn and Garden, pillows in the petfood aisle, etc.
44. "Re-alphabetize" the CD's in Electronics.
45. In the auto department, practice your "Madonna" look with various funnels.
46. When someone steps away from their cart to look at something,
quickly make off with it without saying a word.
47. Relax in the patio furniture until you get kicked out.
48. When an announcement comes over the loudspeaker, assume the fetal position and scream,
"Mommy! It's those voices again!" and begin to suck your thumb.
OR, Yell back saying, "We can hear you.... You don't have to yell!"
OR, Yell back saying, "She's on break!"
49. Pay off layaways fifty cents at a time.
50. Drag a lounge chair on display over to the magazines and relax.
If the store has a food court, buy a soft drink;
explain that you don't get out much, and ask if they can put a little umbrella in it.
51. Greet customers at the front door, in the aisles, while in line.
Tell them you are glad they chose to shop at Wal-Mart today.
52. When picking out your 3/$1.00 candy and the kid next to you says to his parent, "I want one."
Hand him one.
53. When you see an employee, ask, "Excuse me. Do you work here?"
When he says, 'yes', just say, "I thought so" and walk away.
54. Ask to test all of the computer printers to see which one you like best.... but don't buy one.
55. Test all of the noise-maker toys, cookie jars, etc.
56. Use your cellphone to converse with your friend/spouse a few rows over.
57. Ask to have your name put on a notification list for "After Holiday Specials".
58. Find an employee and ask him to get something off the top shelf.
After he finds the ladder and climbs up he'll hand you the item(s).
You look them over for final examination and decide you don't want them. Walk away.
59. Test all of the brooms and mops before making a decision.
60. Rearrange the furniture on display. Decorate a little with products from housewares.
61. Go to the pet department. Talk about the fish as if they are for dinner.
"I'll need 3 of these and 4 of those..... and I wonder how this one will bake up."
62. When you buy a new pair of shoes, wear them out of the shoe department...
Yes, with the tag still on them. And, leave your old ones on the shelf.
1. Take shopping carts for the express purpose of filling them
and stranding them at strategic locations.
2. Ride those little electronic cars at the front of the store.
3. Set all the alarm clocks to go off at ten minute intervals throughout the day.
4. Start playing with the singing fish, dancing Santa, etc;
see how many people you can get to join in.
5. Contaminate the entire auto department by sampling all the spray air fresheners.
6. Challenge other customers to duels with tubes of gift wrap.
7. Leave cryptic messages on the computer screens,
then change the access passwords.
8. Re-dress the mannequins as you see fit.
9. When there are people behind you, walk REALLY SLOW,
especially thin narrow aisles.
10. Walk up to an employee and tell him in an official tone,
"I think we've got a Code 3 in Housewares," and see what happens.
11. Tune all the radios to a polka station;
then turn them all off and turn the volumes to "10".
12. Play with the automatic doors.
13. Walk up to complete strangers and say,
"Hi! I haven't seen you in so long!..." etc.
See if they play along to avoid embarrassment.
14. While walking through the clothing department,
ask yourself loud enough for all to hear,
"Who BUYS this crap, anyway?"
15. Repeat Number 14 in the jewelry department.
16. Ride a display bicycle through the store; claim you're taking it for a "test drive."
17. Follow people through the aisles, always staying about five feet away.
Continue to do this until they leave the department.
18. Play soccer with a group of friends, using the entire store as your playing field.
19. As the cashier runs your purchases over the scanner,
look mesmerized and say, "Wow. It's Magic!"
20. Put M&M's on layaway.
21. Move "Caution: Wet Floor" signs to the carpeted areas.
22. Set up a tent in the camping department;
tell others you'll only invite them in if they bring pillows from Bed and Bath.
23. Test the fishing rods and see what you can "catch" from the other aisles.
24. Ask other customers if they have any Grey Poupon.
25. Drape a blanket around your shoulders and run around saying,
"...I'm Batman. Hurry Robin--to the Batcave!"
26. TP as much of the store as possible.
27. Randomly throw things over into neighboring aisles.
28. Play with the calculators so that they all spell "hello" upside down.
29. When someone asks if you need help, begin to cry and ask,
"Why won't you people just leave me alone?"
30. When two or three people are walking ahead of you,
run between them, yelling, "Red Rover!"
31. Make up nonsense products and ask newly hired employees if there are any in stock,
i.e., "Do you have any Shnerples here?"
32. Take up an entire aisle in Toys by setting up a full scale battlefield
with G.I. Joes vs. the X-Men.
33. Take bets on the battle described above.
34. Nonchalantly "test" the brushes and combs in Cosmetics.
35.While handling guns in the hunting department,
suddenly ask the clerk where the pharmacy is
because you need a refill on your anti-depressants/Prozac.
Act as spastic as possible.
36. Hold indoor shopping cart races.
37. Dart around suspiciously while humming the theme from "Mission:Impossible."
38. Attempt to fit into very large gym bags.
39. Attempt to fit others into very large gym bags.
40. Say things like,
"Would you be so kind as to direct me to your Twinkies/DingDongs/CupCakes?"
41. Set up a "Valet Parking" sign in front of the store.
42. Two words: "Marco Polo."
43. Leave Cheerios in Lawn and Garden, pillows in the petfood aisle, etc.
44. "Re-alphabetize" the CD's in Electronics.
45. In the auto department, practice your "Madonna" look with various funnels.
46. When someone steps away from their cart to look at something,
quickly make off with it without saying a word.
47. Relax in the patio furniture until you get kicked out.
48. When an announcement comes over the loudspeaker, assume the fetal position and scream,
"Mommy! It's those voices again!" and begin to suck your thumb.
OR, Yell back saying, "We can hear you.... You don't have to yell!"
OR, Yell back saying, "She's on break!"
49. Pay off layaways fifty cents at a time.
50. Drag a lounge chair on display over to the magazines and relax.
If the store has a food court, buy a soft drink;
explain that you don't get out much, and ask if they can put a little umbrella in it.
51. Greet customers at the front door, in the aisles, while in line.
Tell them you are glad they chose to shop at Wal-Mart today.
52. When picking out your 3/$1.00 candy and the kid next to you says to his parent, "I want one."
Hand him one.
53. When you see an employee, ask, "Excuse me. Do you work here?"
When he says, 'yes', just say, "I thought so" and walk away.
54. Ask to test all of the computer printers to see which one you like best.... but don't buy one.
55. Test all of the noise-maker toys, cookie jars, etc.
56. Use your cellphone to converse with your friend/spouse a few rows over.
57. Ask to have your name put on a notification list for "After Holiday Specials".
58. Find an employee and ask him to get something off the top shelf.
After he finds the ladder and climbs up he'll hand you the item(s).
You look them over for final examination and decide you don't want them. Walk away.
59. Test all of the brooms and mops before making a decision.
60. Rearrange the furniture on display. Decorate a little with products from housewares.
61. Go to the pet department. Talk about the fish as if they are for dinner.
"I'll need 3 of these and 4 of those..... and I wonder how this one will bake up."
62. When you buy a new pair of shoes, wear them out of the shoe department...
Yes, with the tag still on them. And, leave your old ones on the shelf.
