Out here in the San Jose area we have monthly gatherings. The first 2 hours are primarily socializing. Just getting to know each other and catching up with those we haven't seen in a month or so. We always have lots of food and munchies and drinks. Most people seem to favor non-alcoholic stuff but we always have wine and/or beer here for those who would like that type of beverage. That social time certainly helps everyone get more comfortable with each other and you quickly find out that everyone had the same feelings and concerns the first time they came to a gathering.
Then at some point it seems a natural progression to get into the REAL stuff. It depends on where we are but if we're here at my house we haul out the equipment for play into the living room or family room. We get it set up and ask to see who's going to volunteer. Yes, I said volunteer. We NEVER force anyone into this. So if you decide you want to try it as a "lee", and if you want to get into a bondage situation, we get you secured to the table, into the foot stocks or we can also use my bed which is equipped as well. We also play just on the sofa without bondage at times. It's all based on what the person wants. Some are really scared of the bondage and some folks just want to observe and not participate. And if you're a "ler" then one of the other "lers" will hang with you and show you the ropes (pun intended LOL).
One of us checks with you about what preferences you have. DVNC has those on file so he usually sticks with the newer people to ensure your preferences are monitored and adhered to. We do play with safewords and we do take time during the scene for water breaks and rest breaks and to just monitor how you are doing. If at any time during the scene you want to stop... we stop.
The whole thing can be very overwhelming, especially the first time. Our primary goal is to make sure you have a good time, and we also want to ensure you feel comfortable enough to want to come back again.
Take a chance Hon. Get to a gathering. You won't be sorry!
Jan