For those that remember the late, great comic Robin Harris (BeBe's Kids), he had a routine called The Piccolo Player. I revised it to suit our current political landscape.
My friend Jimmy said he was going take me to D.C. to a news conference. I said, “Oh we get to see the President.” He said, “Yeah he’s alright, but the one to watch is Vice-President Cheney, he runs things, that fool is an O.G. he'll shoot ya in the ass.” So we got to D.C. and took our seat inside the Rose Garden. Bush and Cheney came out and the questions started flying. At first the questions were pretty easy. Then someone from the New York Times asked him about pulling out of Iraq. Before Bush could answer Cheney stepped out and said, “Uh we don’t have time for this, next question.” Then the CNN girl asked President Bush about the mortgage crisis. “Look here gal, this ain’t a fucking daycare. We can’t hold everyones hand, next question.” Cheney growled. A frustrated Post writer asked, “Well damn, can’t the President speak for himself.” Cheney started looking around like he was surrounded reached in his jacket as if looking for a gun. “Fool! What is you doing?! Who are you getting loud with? You trying to disrespect us on TV and everything.” All of a sudden someone from the back yelled out, “The President is a muthafucker!!” Cheney’s eyes widened and face turn red and yelled,” ALRIGHT GODDAMNIT!!! WHO SAID IT!? WHO SAID IT!? Who called the President a mutherfucker? Listen nothing will happen. I just want the man that called the President a muthafucker. Will the man who called the President a muthafucker please stand up.” Everyone stayed seated. “Alright will the man sitting next to the man that called the President a muthafucker raise your hand.” Everybody sat on their hands. “Well I want the man sitting next to the man, sitting next to the man that called the President a muthafucker blink your eyes.” Everyone held their eyes wide open. “Alright will man sitting next to the man sitting next to the man sitting next to the GODDAMN man that called the President a muthafucker do something!!” No one moved.
Someone slowly got up. He stuck his hands out and said, “Aww hold up a second O.G. VP, don't shoot! I ain't the man that called the President a muthafucker. I ain't even the man sitting next to the man that called the President a muthafucker. I ain't even the man sitting next to man sitting next to the man sitting next to GODDAMN man that called the President a muthafucker. What I and my readers want to know is who called that muthafucker the President?!”
The moral of the story is simple: No matter who the President is whether Bush or Cheney, they are both muthafuckers.
My friend Jimmy said he was going take me to D.C. to a news conference. I said, “Oh we get to see the President.” He said, “Yeah he’s alright, but the one to watch is Vice-President Cheney, he runs things, that fool is an O.G. he'll shoot ya in the ass.” So we got to D.C. and took our seat inside the Rose Garden. Bush and Cheney came out and the questions started flying. At first the questions were pretty easy. Then someone from the New York Times asked him about pulling out of Iraq. Before Bush could answer Cheney stepped out and said, “Uh we don’t have time for this, next question.” Then the CNN girl asked President Bush about the mortgage crisis. “Look here gal, this ain’t a fucking daycare. We can’t hold everyones hand, next question.” Cheney growled. A frustrated Post writer asked, “Well damn, can’t the President speak for himself.” Cheney started looking around like he was surrounded reached in his jacket as if looking for a gun. “Fool! What is you doing?! Who are you getting loud with? You trying to disrespect us on TV and everything.” All of a sudden someone from the back yelled out, “The President is a muthafucker!!” Cheney’s eyes widened and face turn red and yelled,” ALRIGHT GODDAMNIT!!! WHO SAID IT!? WHO SAID IT!? Who called the President a mutherfucker? Listen nothing will happen. I just want the man that called the President a muthafucker. Will the man who called the President a muthafucker please stand up.” Everyone stayed seated. “Alright will the man sitting next to the man that called the President a muthafucker raise your hand.” Everybody sat on their hands. “Well I want the man sitting next to the man, sitting next to the man that called the President a muthafucker blink your eyes.” Everyone held their eyes wide open. “Alright will man sitting next to the man sitting next to the man sitting next to the GODDAMN man that called the President a muthafucker do something!!” No one moved.
Someone slowly got up. He stuck his hands out and said, “Aww hold up a second O.G. VP, don't shoot! I ain't the man that called the President a muthafucker. I ain't even the man sitting next to the man that called the President a muthafucker. I ain't even the man sitting next to man sitting next to the man sitting next to GODDAMN man that called the President a muthafucker. What I and my readers want to know is who called that muthafucker the President?!”
The moral of the story is simple: No matter who the President is whether Bush or Cheney, they are both muthafuckers.
