Senshi1
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Hello. Most of us do at some time come across people who are not from the same country as us. This can be intimidating and confusing if you are not properly prepared. With this guide, you can learn to spot where somebody is from and what they are likely to act like.
(Sorry to sound like a legal notice, but this thread is for entertainment purposes only. Don't bother calling me a racist because I'm not, capiche?)
All of these descriptions do indeed apply to every single person of that particular nationality, and anybody who disagrees with you is lying.
America
ALL Americans (Northern States):
- Own at least 3 handguns
- Live in either New York or Los Angeles
- Drive yellow taxis
- Are loud and friendly
- Drive SUVs
ALL Americans (Southern States):
- Are called either Hank, Earl or Tex
- Wear cowboy hats and plaid shirts
- Drive pickup trucks
- Listen only to country-western music
- Own at least 6 shotguns
ALL Mexicans:
- Wear ponchos and sombreros
- Are sick of their village being attacked by bandits
- Eat only tacos and burritos
- Have pet chihuahuas
- Spend much of their leisure time playing tiny guitars
Europe
ALL Englishmen:
- Wear pinstriped suits and carry briefcases
- Live in London
- Ride red double-decker buses everywhere
- Deny the existence of sex
- Read only the adventures of "Sherlock Holmes"
ALL Frenchmen:
- Live within walking distance of the Eiffel Tower
- Are waiters
- Wear red neckerchiefs and berets
- Eat only garlic, frogs legs and snails
- Spend 70% of their lives seducing every woman in the world
ALL Germans:
- Drink only beer
- Eat only bratwurst und saurkraut
- Wear lederhosen
- Listen only to techno music
- Make a point of claiming every single sun-lounger by the pool
ALL Spanish people:
- Are Manuel from "Fawlty Towers"
- Ride bulls instead of driving cars
- Spend nearly all of their time dancing with castanets
- Are sick of British tourists
- Wear white, silk clothes
ALL Scots:
- Live in castles
- Wear only kilts and blue face paint
- Are Billy Connolly
- Eat only haggis
- Drink only whiskey
ALL Italians:
- Live in Rome
- Are in the Mafia
- Are called either Mario, Luigi, or both
- Say "Mamma mia!" at least fifteen times per hour
- Eat only spaghetti, pasta and pizza
Asia
ALL Chinese people:
- Are Jackie Chan (men)
- Are Chun Li from Street Fighter (women)
- Are expertly trained in every single form of martial arts
- Wear large bamboo shade-hats
- Have a grandfather who smokes a long pipe and has a long moustache
ALL Japanese people:
- Spend 40% of their time crammed into small trains in Tokyo
- Carry katanas and ninja stars everywhere
- Are experts at reading comics whilst walking and not tripping over anything
- Have large, spikey, colourful hair
- Eat sushi all the time, but only to laugh at the horrified looks on the faces of tourists
Other:
ALL Australians:
- Are Steve Irwin
- Drink copious amounts of beer
- Wrestle alligators all the time
- Know everything there is to know about every single species of snake and spider
- Wear cowboy hats with corks on strings hanging from them
Please add any that I've forgotten in this thread.
(Sorry to sound like a legal notice, but this thread is for entertainment purposes only. Don't bother calling me a racist because I'm not, capiche?)
All of these descriptions do indeed apply to every single person of that particular nationality, and anybody who disagrees with you is lying.
America
ALL Americans (Northern States):
- Own at least 3 handguns
- Live in either New York or Los Angeles
- Drive yellow taxis
- Are loud and friendly
- Drive SUVs
ALL Americans (Southern States):
- Are called either Hank, Earl or Tex
- Wear cowboy hats and plaid shirts
- Drive pickup trucks
- Listen only to country-western music
- Own at least 6 shotguns
ALL Mexicans:
- Wear ponchos and sombreros
- Are sick of their village being attacked by bandits
- Eat only tacos and burritos
- Have pet chihuahuas
- Spend much of their leisure time playing tiny guitars
Europe
ALL Englishmen:
- Wear pinstriped suits and carry briefcases
- Live in London
- Ride red double-decker buses everywhere
- Deny the existence of sex
- Read only the adventures of "Sherlock Holmes"
ALL Frenchmen:
- Live within walking distance of the Eiffel Tower
- Are waiters
- Wear red neckerchiefs and berets
- Eat only garlic, frogs legs and snails
- Spend 70% of their lives seducing every woman in the world
ALL Germans:
- Drink only beer
- Eat only bratwurst und saurkraut
- Wear lederhosen
- Listen only to techno music
- Make a point of claiming every single sun-lounger by the pool
ALL Spanish people:
- Are Manuel from "Fawlty Towers"
- Ride bulls instead of driving cars
- Spend nearly all of their time dancing with castanets
- Are sick of British tourists
- Wear white, silk clothes
ALL Scots:
- Live in castles
- Wear only kilts and blue face paint
- Are Billy Connolly
- Eat only haggis
- Drink only whiskey
ALL Italians:
- Live in Rome
- Are in the Mafia
- Are called either Mario, Luigi, or both
- Say "Mamma mia!" at least fifteen times per hour
- Eat only spaghetti, pasta and pizza
Asia
ALL Chinese people:
- Are Jackie Chan (men)
- Are Chun Li from Street Fighter (women)
- Are expertly trained in every single form of martial arts
- Wear large bamboo shade-hats
- Have a grandfather who smokes a long pipe and has a long moustache
ALL Japanese people:
- Spend 40% of their time crammed into small trains in Tokyo
- Carry katanas and ninja stars everywhere
- Are experts at reading comics whilst walking and not tripping over anything
- Have large, spikey, colourful hair
- Eat sushi all the time, but only to laugh at the horrified looks on the faces of tourists
Other:
ALL Australians:
- Are Steve Irwin
- Drink copious amounts of beer
- Wrestle alligators all the time
- Know everything there is to know about every single species of snake and spider
- Wear cowboy hats with corks on strings hanging from them
Please add any that I've forgotten in this thread.
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