How about it, guys? Ever had a good friend just lose it over a girl to the point where he seems to change into another person entirely?
Well, for what it's worth here's my story..
I used to live in a very cool neighborhood called Waters Landing. It was a beautiful neighborhood especially during the spring when the cherry blossoms were in bloom. There was a lake with an asphalt path around it on which one could either walk or bicycle. The trees were mighty oaks and maples with some locusts thrown in here and there. Occasionally you'd see a blue spruce and about 15 years ago, people began planting dogwoods which also bloom very nicely.
The neighbors were all friendly with each other and we'd often stop what we were doing and just shoot the breeze. We'd help each other with landscaping projects, deck building and so forth. It was the most environmentally and socially cool neighborhood I've ever been a part of. It was like heaven on earth but like every good season, it was only temporary.
One of the most well liked neighbors was Jim. I'd known Jim for eight or nine years and during that time we became good friends, often hanging out there in the neighborhood with the other neighbors. We both loved humor, so we'd laugh and joke and have a great time. Everybody liked Jim, but nobody liked him more than I did.
A few months ago, this young rough-looking chick named Sue moves into the neighborhood. Dispite her unkempt slovenly appearance, we all welcomed her at first and she seemed okay. In fact, she seemed very okay with Jim who immediately designated himself as her surrogate dad. The two of them could often be seen together arm in arm and they were very huggy touchy which made social situations rather awkward.
But then after a while many of us found that we couldn't carry on a conversation anywhere without Sue popping up with her rude and disrespectful comments. The grocery store. The gas station. She was all over the neighborhood all of the time. Some of the more lonely and desperate guys in the neighborhood liked her because even though she dissed them rudely, she'd occasionally flirt or wink at them, and that was enough to keep them ever-hopeful.
That was basically Sue's modus operandi for social interaction. Her policy seemed to be, "We can be friends and maybe more (wink wink) if you understand that I'm going to publically humiliate you from time to time. You must take it and don't even think about returning any of it, or I'll run and tell Daddy Jim."
Everywhere Sue went she had an instinctive need to be the center of attention, and her handful of followers were more than happy to oblige. Those of us who'd lived in the neighborhood for years were becoming concerned. We were losing that spark of quality that made our neighborhood unique. It was hard to believe that one chain-smoking, tough talking gangsta wannabe was all it took to ruin the neighborhood for everybody but that's exactly what happened.
One day Sue petitioned the town council to approve a trailor park right in our beautiful suburban neighborhood. Jim, who by this time was getting discouraged over Sue's attention spread out over so many guys, decided this was his big chance to be Sue's hero. He took on this project as a matter of life and death, promoting it with every ounce of his energy. There were several Town Hall meetings to discuss the pros and cons of this trailor park idea. The pros were discussed freely, but every time a con was raised, the person was cut off rudely by Jim, who would dismiss the point airily and try to steer the discussion back to the pros.
To our shock, the council approved the motion. When a few of us raised some logistical concerns, Jim was frantically attempting to stifle us. The council saw what was going on and wisely reversed the decision, to the great relief of the bulk of the community.
Sue didn't care much, after all she was not invested in the neighborhood, and she knew it was just a matter of time before she'd ride out of town for good on the back of a Harley. To her it was simply an exercise in popularity.
Jim on the other hand was devastated. He approached me privately and it was scary. I was looking into the wild eyes of a total stranger.
"Well I guess you and the neighborhood whiners got your way!" Jim spat with uncharacteristic petulence. "That does it. I'm out of here!"
"You're leaving the neighborhood?? Jim, I know you're upset," I replied. "But come on, man. Look at the big picture. That trailer park was a bad idea gone worse."
"THE BIG PICTURE??!!" Jim shouted. "The BIG PICTURE was supposed to be about population growth, church membership, and overflowing coffers! But every goddam time we have the opportunity for change, you and your ilk throw a monkey wrench in it."
"So you're saying what?" I asked. "That the rest us have no say in what happens to this neighborhood? We live here too, you know. Who the hell died and made you the Great Decider of town issues?"
Jim's eyes narrowed to slits. "You'd just better watch your ass, Drew. I'm going to be watching you. I catch you speeding, I'm calling the cops. I see one brake light out on your car, I'm reporting you.
Two weeks later, I get a letter from the county ordinance. I have to take down my satellite antenna because it exceeds the allowable dish size by an inch. So I'm up there on the roof taking it down when an apple zips by me missing me by inches. I look down, and there on the sidewalk next to the apple tree is Jim grinning ear to ear. He gives me a huge wink and walks off.
So there you have it. I'm not worried about the satellite dish. That can be easily replaced. What I find sad is that a guy I really liked and considered a good friend just threw me under the bus like that for the sake of a girl young enough to be his grand-daughter.
But the good news is that as sad as that experience was, I came through, with the help of my real friends. I doubt I'll ever be Jim's friend again. But then again, with friends like that, who needs enemies?
Well, for what it's worth here's my story..
I used to live in a very cool neighborhood called Waters Landing. It was a beautiful neighborhood especially during the spring when the cherry blossoms were in bloom. There was a lake with an asphalt path around it on which one could either walk or bicycle. The trees were mighty oaks and maples with some locusts thrown in here and there. Occasionally you'd see a blue spruce and about 15 years ago, people began planting dogwoods which also bloom very nicely.
The neighbors were all friendly with each other and we'd often stop what we were doing and just shoot the breeze. We'd help each other with landscaping projects, deck building and so forth. It was the most environmentally and socially cool neighborhood I've ever been a part of. It was like heaven on earth but like every good season, it was only temporary.
One of the most well liked neighbors was Jim. I'd known Jim for eight or nine years and during that time we became good friends, often hanging out there in the neighborhood with the other neighbors. We both loved humor, so we'd laugh and joke and have a great time. Everybody liked Jim, but nobody liked him more than I did.
A few months ago, this young rough-looking chick named Sue moves into the neighborhood. Dispite her unkempt slovenly appearance, we all welcomed her at first and she seemed okay. In fact, she seemed very okay with Jim who immediately designated himself as her surrogate dad. The two of them could often be seen together arm in arm and they were very huggy touchy which made social situations rather awkward.
But then after a while many of us found that we couldn't carry on a conversation anywhere without Sue popping up with her rude and disrespectful comments. The grocery store. The gas station. She was all over the neighborhood all of the time. Some of the more lonely and desperate guys in the neighborhood liked her because even though she dissed them rudely, she'd occasionally flirt or wink at them, and that was enough to keep them ever-hopeful.
That was basically Sue's modus operandi for social interaction. Her policy seemed to be, "We can be friends and maybe more (wink wink) if you understand that I'm going to publically humiliate you from time to time. You must take it and don't even think about returning any of it, or I'll run and tell Daddy Jim."
Everywhere Sue went she had an instinctive need to be the center of attention, and her handful of followers were more than happy to oblige. Those of us who'd lived in the neighborhood for years were becoming concerned. We were losing that spark of quality that made our neighborhood unique. It was hard to believe that one chain-smoking, tough talking gangsta wannabe was all it took to ruin the neighborhood for everybody but that's exactly what happened.
One day Sue petitioned the town council to approve a trailor park right in our beautiful suburban neighborhood. Jim, who by this time was getting discouraged over Sue's attention spread out over so many guys, decided this was his big chance to be Sue's hero. He took on this project as a matter of life and death, promoting it with every ounce of his energy. There were several Town Hall meetings to discuss the pros and cons of this trailor park idea. The pros were discussed freely, but every time a con was raised, the person was cut off rudely by Jim, who would dismiss the point airily and try to steer the discussion back to the pros.
To our shock, the council approved the motion. When a few of us raised some logistical concerns, Jim was frantically attempting to stifle us. The council saw what was going on and wisely reversed the decision, to the great relief of the bulk of the community.
Sue didn't care much, after all she was not invested in the neighborhood, and she knew it was just a matter of time before she'd ride out of town for good on the back of a Harley. To her it was simply an exercise in popularity.
Jim on the other hand was devastated. He approached me privately and it was scary. I was looking into the wild eyes of a total stranger.
"Well I guess you and the neighborhood whiners got your way!" Jim spat with uncharacteristic petulence. "That does it. I'm out of here!"
"You're leaving the neighborhood?? Jim, I know you're upset," I replied. "But come on, man. Look at the big picture. That trailer park was a bad idea gone worse."
"THE BIG PICTURE??!!" Jim shouted. "The BIG PICTURE was supposed to be about population growth, church membership, and overflowing coffers! But every goddam time we have the opportunity for change, you and your ilk throw a monkey wrench in it."
"So you're saying what?" I asked. "That the rest us have no say in what happens to this neighborhood? We live here too, you know. Who the hell died and made you the Great Decider of town issues?"
Jim's eyes narrowed to slits. "You'd just better watch your ass, Drew. I'm going to be watching you. I catch you speeding, I'm calling the cops. I see one brake light out on your car, I'm reporting you.
Two weeks later, I get a letter from the county ordinance. I have to take down my satellite antenna because it exceeds the allowable dish size by an inch. So I'm up there on the roof taking it down when an apple zips by me missing me by inches. I look down, and there on the sidewalk next to the apple tree is Jim grinning ear to ear. He gives me a huge wink and walks off.
So there you have it. I'm not worried about the satellite dish. That can be easily replaced. What I find sad is that a guy I really liked and considered a good friend just threw me under the bus like that for the sake of a girl young enough to be his grand-daughter.
But the good news is that as sad as that experience was, I came through, with the help of my real friends. I doubt I'll ever be Jim's friend again. But then again, with friends like that, who needs enemies?
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Yes, Jim is married and has a kid. That's what made their social antics so awkward. Nobody wanted to come out and say what everybody was wondering. It was like the elephant in the room, so to speak.
