hey areenactor

[siamese dream]

I was just wondering how your daughter is doing. I remember reading a few posts from you before about how she's having a very hard time with depression and social problems. I felt compassionate about it, because I also went through the same sort of thing when I was jr. high/high school age. Is your daughter in this same age group? I was miserable, I was picked on a lot, I took prozac and wellbutrin and they didn't help, I didn't have many friends etc.

Later I grew to realize the good in my life and myself. I feel very happy now and haven't taken medications for years. I also came to realize that the people who picked on me in school were just sad, probably acting out of their own fears and insecurities. I think I have a very healthy perspective on life and a bright future.

If you, or she, ever wants to talk to a girl who's been there and come out stronger for it, then you can e-mail me. [email protected] I would be happy to give advice, insight, or just to listen.

 

[Deleted member 2452]

thank you siamese dream

i'll offer your e-mail to my daughter, and let her decide for herself. i just may take you up on your offer though. as attuned to her as i am, i also realize, i was never a teen age girl, so i don't know how one should act. her mother is no help at all. she is 3 month shy of 16, and going into her sophmore year in high school. about her only pleasures in life are a hand full of t.v. show, and their web sites. and me, we are very close, and alike in many ways. at this point, she's been off the drugs for a year, and doesn't want to go back to them. she knows she's "different", but doesn't want to be like the girls at school, she doesn't like what she sees there either!
she'd be happy if she could meet up with a couple other girls like herself. she's into sci-fi., fantasy, pro-wrestling, is an avid voracious reader.
so if you know anyone like this in the chicago area, let us know!
steve

 

[siamese dream]

hi steve

That age is a confusing time, I think, for most girls. Some have it a lot rougher than others. It's where you're beginning to feel adulthood feelings and have adulthood questions and perspectives on life... and yet, in so many ways you're still a child.

I felt I was "different" and that I didn't want to be like the other girls too. Yet I also hated myself for being unpopular, felt like it must be something wrong with me. She just needs to know that she is stronger than the people who try to make her feel weak, and that she is smart and can do anything with her life that she puts her mind to.

I think something that helped me immensely was having an 'outlet' for emotions, which for me was art and writing. I think writing is a fantastic way to get your feelings out and to sort through them. It is very freeing, because you can write about anything...the subject is limitless. It's wonderful that she loves to read, and maybe she would enjoy writing her own sci fi/fantasy stories, or just writing in general.
Art is also a good outlet, though some people aren't inclined toward it or don't feel they have 'artistic talent'. I think the definition of talent in art is very broad though... after all, the entire abstract/expressionistic movement in art was about not trying to perfectly draw a physical subject matter, but using color and shape to convey emotions.

Since she likes TV shows, maybe she would also enjoy things like photography or using a video camera. I'm sorry, but I don't know anyone in Chicago, I live too far away from there. I do hope she meets some like-minded girls there.

 

[thx10050]

I know it's none of my business, Arenaactor, and I'm kind of butting into a private conversation here between you two, but I think those are great interests, minus the pro-wrestling if it's WWE stuff. Reading a few books of fantasy and sci-fi is what really got my imagination going and now I love to read those kinds of books as well as write my own fiction. One of my stories (all of which are incomplete) is a science-fiction conspiracy/action story about 250 pages in length, 12 font, double-spaced. I have the outline written out, but just never got around to finishing it. Ah well, maybe sometime. 🙂

So maybe encouragement in writing might be healthy, Arena, like Siamese said? I completely agree that it's a wonderful and flexible medium to express yourself in. Also, maybe try to get her into some sports or physical fitness? As for depression and everything, I have bad times of depression now and then, usually relating to my physical appearence and physical strength. It's a guy thing, Arena, you understand. 🙂 On another note, my girlfriend is on a few depression meds herself and has been given various others in the past. For her though, depression runs in the family, but it's also related to various things, like physical appearence, where she wants to go in life and what she wants to do. Her younger sister is also kind of like your daughter in a way, Arena. She is more into sports and athletics and doesn't care about popularity or being like others. Unfortunately, this has cost her some friends, who, as they become more popular with the 'in' crowd, forget about the friendship.

Well, I'll back out now. Good luck with this, Arena, and sorry for butting in.

 

[Strelnikov]

I'll stick my oar in, too. If your daughter likes sci-fi, take her to a sci-fi convention (but NOT a Star Trek or other media-oriented convention.) WindyCon is an annual event in Chicago - went to one when I lived in Michigan and enjoyed it. There are others - do a Web search for "science fiction convention" and you'll find plenty of informational websites.

I've been attending 4-5 cons a year for the past 25 years. Cons are great for kids who don't fit in - that's typical of ALL attendees. As long as she behaves (and the criteria for that are pretty relaxed) she'll be accepted. And she'll have a blast! You will too - free beer!

Strelnikov

 

[Deleted member 2452]

thanks you guys (see, siamese you are accepted)

thank you for your ideas.
my daughter does write. back when she was 10, she won first place in a writing competition, it was small, but she was thrilled. she's even done some short story work on a couple sci. fi. siets. she had writers block for a while, but (hopefully) seems to be comming out of it.
we may be going to the far scape convention in new york, in november. she says she'll take that as her 16 birthday present.lol
i will check into windy conn. when is that ?
steve

 

[Strelnikov]

This year's Windycon is the weekend of Nov 8-10, 2002. Complete info is at:
www.windycon.org/text/default.asp

Strelnikov

 

[Deleted member 2452]

thanks for the link

strel. i'll look into it, and see if this is something she'd be interested in. off hand, i've never heard of the people on the opening page. show's how out of things i am.
steve