Hoping to find someone

[PianistBill]

I have posted before but unfortunately received no responses so I thought I try again. I love tickling and being tickled. I am happy if I get either but even happier if I find someone for both. It seems very difficult meeting folks here. If you're a lee, a ler, or both then hit me up

 

[manamoyik]

http://ticklingforum.com/entry.php?6475-Am-I-the-only-one

 

[PianistBill]

Manamoyik any reason you sent me this link? What are you saying?

 

[lovestotickle10]

Manamoyik any reason you sent me this link? What are you saying?

Dude, are you really asking that question? I think the blog speaks for itself.

 

[Darkknight]

Yeah, if you're that same Bill.... it's obvious man.

 

[PianistBill]

I'm not allowed to meet anyone?

 

[Sandisk444]

I don't know what's gone on with PianistBill and the other members here but it's the job of the moderators to ensure the users are penalized for their misconduct, unless you were all personally involved in what's happened, I would keep out of it. There's no point in mobbing the guy because of a blog post you read.

With that being said, I don't condone the actions he's accused of. If this is habitual behaviour, it should be brought up by those involved to the moderators and they will handle it appropriately. If he's not doing it anymore, it shouldn't have to follow him for the rest of his time on the TMF as long as he's atoned for it.

 

[shygirl5]

I don't know what's gone on with PianistBill and the other members here but it's the job of the moderators to ensure the users are penalized for their misconduct, unless you were all personally involved in what's happened, I would keep out of it. There's no point in mobbing the guy because of a blog post you read.

With that being said, I don't condone the actions he's accused of. If this is habitual behaviour, it should be brought up by those involved to the moderators and they will handle it appropriately. If he's not doing it anymore, it shouldn't have to follow him for the rest of his time on the TMF as long as he's atoned for it.

Okay. I need to say something. Yes, I wrote that blog about this same Bill. I do not regret it for one second and I will not remove it because it is what it is and at the same time, people can read it and make their minds up for themselves. This was just my own personal experience with him, and although I have absolutely NO desire to ever be friends with Bill again, I also believe that this should NOT follow him around for the rest of his "TMF life". He has done very well now to leave me alone and I wish him all the best in moving on and finding friends in the TMF.

 

[dvnc]

I'm aware of this situation. I was aware of it when it was posted last time. This data is not new.

We are each responsible for what we do. I see nothing wrong with sharing experiences in the manner she has.

 

[Sandisk444]

Okay. I need to say something. Yes, I wrote that blog about this same Bill. I do not regret it for one second and I will not remove it because it is what it is and at the same time, people can read it and make their minds up for themselves. This was just my own personal experience with him, and although I have absolutely NO desire to ever be friends with Bill again, I also believe that this should NOT follow him around for the rest of his "TMF life". He has done very well now to leave me alone and I wish him all the best in moving on and finding friends in the TMF.

I'm not sure if you quoted me because you felt like I disagreed with your post or if you agreed with me but just in case: I see nothing wrong with your blog and you're fully within your rights to post it and make your situation known. My problem was with the people posting it as some kind of "beware" sign, I don't think that's fair unless he's a repeat offender of these situations.

 

[dvnc]

One needed do something twice to have it announced that they did something once. It's the doer's responsibility to provide future assurances, and the receiver's responsibility to warn others of bad experiences.

Otherwise no one will trust anyone.

 

[Sensualswitch10]

I'm not sure if you quoted me because you felt like I disagreed with your post or if you agreed with me but just in case: I see nothing wrong with your blog and you're fully within your rights to post it and make your situation known. My problem was with the people posting it as some kind of "beware" sign, I don't think that's fair unless he's a repeat offender of these situations.

If you had read the blog as well as the comments, you would have seen this comment from another female member who I will not name:
"You're not the only one! I had the same problem not to long ago.. he started getting really weird on me and sharing personal info and being inappropriate so I'm deleting him and ignoring it.. you get weirdos on here sometimes.."

If one user actually read the blog and reaffirmed what Shygirl said, it's certainly possible that others experienced the same and didn't happen to see the blog or feel comfortable commenting.

Furthermore, just because the blog is out there, it doesn't mean every user has read it. There's nothing wrong with users who have read it making the information available. Especially since the blog was so recent (one day shy of a month ago). But an actual moderator has spoken, so I'll just shut up now.

 

[Sandisk444]

One needed do something twice to have it announced that they did something once. It's the doer's responsibility to provide future assurances, and the receiver's responsibility to warn others of bad experiences.

Otherwise no one will trust anyone.

Yeah, which is what shygirl did with her blog post and PianistBill did by apparently no longer contacting her. This is what I don't see anything wrong with but the people who brought it up were neither the "doer" nor the "receiver".

Just because this incident occurred, does he have to keep answering for it every time he posts on the site? If he did something so terrible that his posts require disclaimers (which is what I'll call manamoyik's post for the sake of argument), then he shouldn't really be allowed to post personals ads, don't you think? What he did is either punishable or forgivable and that shouldn't really be up to interpretation when it can lead to potential harassment. At what point will it become bullying?

Either way, I'm not a moderator so I don't really have control over what happens here. Just voicing an opinion.

 

[Sensualswitch10]

One needed do something twice to have it announced that they did something once. It's the doer's responsibility to provide future assurances, and the receiver's responsibility to warn others of bad experiences.

Otherwise no one will trust anyone.

Yeah, which is what shygirl did with her blog post and PianistBill did by apparently no longer contacting her. This is what I don't see anything wrong with but the people who brought it up were neither the "doer" nor the "receiver".

Just because this incident occurred, does he have to keep answering for it every time he posts on the site? If he did something so terrible that his posts require disclaimers (which is what I'll call manamoyik's post for the sake of argument), then he shouldn't really be allowed to post personals ads, don't you think? What he did is either punishable or forgivable and that shouldn't really be up to interpretation when it can lead to potential harassment. At what point will it become bullying?

Either way, I'm not a moderator so I don't really have control over what happens here. Just voicing an opinion

Still not sure if you actually read the blog, but in case you didn't:

"But if I so much as get one more message from you – somehow as I am blocking you - then I will publicly post your full name, home phone number, cell number and address on TMF for everyone to see. I’m sorry you are getting threats as it is already, but you have brought this all on yourself. I’ve been told I’m too nice. I’ve tried to deal with this on my own. Other people have tried to tell you to calm down as well. You won’t listen to anyone or anything. I’m sorry for that. I hope this nails it home for you."

So yeah, he "provided further assurances" by "apparently no longer contacting her" but only after she wrote a blog about it and threatened to post all of his personal information on the public forum. As far as the people who brought it up being neither the doer or the receiver, that doesn't matter. Anyone can quote something from the public forum if it's out there. If the blog post was deemed to be false accusations by the mods it would have been removed. It wasn't. Some of the people who posted on this thread are real life friends of people who I am real life friends with, so I'm inclined to trust them.

One more thing. I've read posts from you in plenty of threads where you went way out of your way to say how respectful you are about consent and boundaries and such, when it seemed mildly off topic at best. Now you're defending a guy who's been called out for being a creep by multiple female members. What gives? Sorry, but if people don't want to be labeled a creep, they shouldn't be one. What consequences do you think are appropriate for being a creep to the women on the forum? If there aren't any what dissuades people from being creeps?

 

[Sandisk444]

Still not sure if you actually read the blog, but in case you didn't:

"But if I so much as get one more message from you – somehow as I am blocking you - then I will publicly post your full name, home phone number, cell number and address on TMF for everyone to see. I’m sorry you are getting threats as it is already, but you have brought this all on yourself. I’ve been told I’m too nice. I’ve tried to deal with this on my own. Other people have tried to tell you to calm down as well. You won’t listen to anyone or anything. I’m sorry for that. I hope this nails it home for you."

So yeah, he "provided further assurances" by "apparently no longer contacting her" but only after she wrote a blog about it and threatened to post all of his personal information on the public forum. As far as the people who brought it up being neither the doer or the receiver, that doesn't matter. Anyone can quote something from the public forum if it's out there. If the blog post was deemed to be false accusations by the mods it would have been removed. It wasn't. Some of the people who posted on this thread are real life friends of people who I am real life friends with, so I'm inclined to trust them.

One more thing. I've read posts from you in plenty of threads where you went way out of your way to say how respectful you are about consent and boundaries and such, when it seemed mildly off topic at best. Now you're defending a guy who's been called out for being a creep by multiple female members. What gives? Sorry, but if people don't want to be labeled a creep, they shouldn't be one. What consequences do you think are appropriate for being a creep to the women on the forum? If there aren't any what dissuades people from being creeps?

I can only speak as someone who wasn't involved in the situation at hand. I don't know how long or how far these events went, all I have is a blog post that was written by one person.

My point is that if PianistBill is deemed to be harmful to the other users, then he shouldn't be allowed to post here. Mods have likely reviewed the blog and would have likely taken action about it, but he's clearly able to make a personals ad. So either the staff is doing nothing about a problem that should be brought to their attention, they have and he's acting within his allowances as a result of that, or what actually happened doesn't make him a threat to the other users.

If you go back to my first post, I said I don't condone what was done by PianistBill as accused in the blog post. What do you want him to do from here on in that case? Leave the forum? Sure, what he did was creepy and it has thusly labelled him as a creep but if he proves he's no longer a creep, I don't think the label of creep should be stuck to him. Otherwise you're just incentivising people to not take responsibility of their actions and just make other accounts to deflect attention. I've spoken with PianistBill and suggested he just walk away from the forum for a while and sort out whatever issues he has going on before trying to come back because the blog post read to me like someone who has external issues going on which resulted in such a harmful situation. I'm not justifying it, he should have to face up to what he's done which is why I wholeheartedly support shygirl's decision to make the blog post but I don't think him having the post being pushed at him is worthwhile if he's trying to work passed it.

Also, I'm not sure what you're talking about with my posts (if you really wish to "call me out" on that, I don't feel like here is the place) or these multiple female members who corroborate the creepiness, I've only seen one comment on the blog that doesn't really offer much in terms of context. Like I said before, if you have evidence against what I'm saying then feel free to present it and I'll withdraw my assumptions. All I have to go on is the blog post but I feel like my statement about the action being taken about it stands regardless, even more-so if this is continued behaviour.

 

[dvnc]

How is a user harmful if others are aware of his past behavior? Any user found to behave poorly to others can be outed by those who experience this.

Given how difficult it is to connect without being know for such behavior, I'd have to assume anyone contacting someone known for it is choosing it for their own reasons. Some people are into that.

So long as it's possible to know one's choice could be the same as a predecessor, the choice is much the same as outside of this forum.

 

[PianistBill]

I think it's time for me to speak. I have been trying to move on. I've owned up to my mistake and have learned a great deal. I have not bothered shygirl5 or others whatsoever. I'm trying to become part of the community and enjoy the TMF forum but people aren't letting me. Must this bullying continue? If you are someone who doesn't want to associate with me is it necessary to make that publically known? I don't think many are being fair and allowing me to prove I'm not that person many people think I am. I should be allowed to place an ad and not be constantly bullied. Over 800 members have viewed the blog which most likely means every member in the forum have read it. That doesn't leave much hope for me. Please allow me to learn from my mistake which I have and atone for my ways and move on and enjoy the community. I enjoy TMF. It's the only place I can go to discuss my tickling fetish. Please stop already and let me move on?

 

[Wolf]

I think it's time for me to speak. I have been trying to move on. I've owned up to my mistake and have learned a great deal. I have not bothered shygirl5 or others whatsoever. I'm trying to become part of the community and enjoy the TMF forum but people aren't letting me. Must this bullying continue? If you are someone who doesn't want to associate with me is it necessary to make that publically known? I don't think many are being fair and allowing me to prove I'm not that person many people think I am. I should be allowed to place an ad and not be constantly bullied. Over 800 members have viewed the blog which most likely means every member in the forum have read it. That doesn't leave much hope for me. Please allow me to learn from my mistake which I have and atone for my ways and move on and enjoy the community. I enjoy TMF. It's the only place I can go to discuss my tickling fetish. Please stop already and let me move on?

You seem to be confused as to who the wronged party is in all of this.
If you want to erase what you've done and eliminate any connection you have with it, the only choice is to stop logging in under this account, start a new one, and don't act like that again.

 

[PianistBill]

Yeah wolf and give up the friends I did make?

 

[Wolf]

Yeah wolf and give up the friends I did make?

It's a two-edged sword. You can't have the fresh start you want, without giving up the identity you have now.
You could always reach out to the ones you trust after you make a new you. Or even before. Tell them what to look for.
How many times do you want people to forget what you've done to more than one person?

 

[dvnc]

Too, you can message those friends, announce your new name to them, and hide from this unfortunate series of activities. With exemplary behavior, no one will ever associate you by your new actions to your past behavior. It's the behavior that got you the results leading to this thread. Change them. Make good on new behavior and undo this the way we all must - by changing what we can of ourselves.

 

[TKFan1]

You reap what you sew. Redemption isn't handed to you, it's earned

 

[PianistBill]

I'm trying to earn it what do you think I've been doing. I have been doing exactly what the moderators have told me to do. My actions have changed but no one will give me the chance to show them

 

[Wolf]

I'm trying to earn it what do you think I've been doing. I have been doing exactly what the moderators have told me to do. My actions have changed but no one will give me the chance to show them

Really? 'Cause you're acting a lot like the person described in the blog.

 

[PianistBill]

Really wolf in what way am I like the person in the blog? Do you see me harassing anybody?