how do you get over an ex-girlfriend of 5years

[shane2]

How can I get over my ex-girlfriend of five years I cant sleep, I cant eat, I feel broken, and my body aches as if i were a heroin addict my mind keeps flooding with thoughts of me and her together and the good times we shared I promised myself I wouldn't fall for a girl again and here I 'am now asking for advice I can't believe I let my emotions get to me what good is love if it doesn't last to long and at the end we endure lots of pain I wish
I was numb .

If you have any suggestions of how to getting an ex-girlfriend I would most definitly like to hear them

 

[TropicThunder]

Time heals all wounds.

It's totally cheesy, I know, but its true.

 

[GQguy]

How can I get over my ex-girlfriend of five years I cant sleep, I cant eat, I feel broken, and my body aches as if i were a heroin addict my mind keeps flooding with thoughts of me and her together and the good times we shared I promised myself I wouldn't fall for a girl again and here I 'am now asking for advice I can't believe I let my emotions get to me what good is love if it doesn't last to long and at the end we endure lots of pain I wish
I was numb .

If you have any suggestions of how to getting an ex-girlfriend I would most definitly like to hear them

I feel you buddy. I've been there. And moved on.

Your post is very interesting. The question is as old as man itself....but the context in which you put it in is the interesting part. Namely the heroin addict part and the wishing you were numb part.

Ok. Time for GQ advice!

Love is like a drug! It's addicting. Endorphins and other pleasure hormones are secreted in excess. You feel high. Love is a rush. It's pretty awesome and never forget that. It's a gift from God. NEVER DENY YOURSELF THIS. You deserve love. To deny yourself is to punish yourself....and what was your sin? Surely everyone is worthy of love.

Time heals all wounds sounds great, but that leaves one's life to fate. It's true to an extent but I'm from the school of thought that one creates their own destiny. Want to know how to get over a past love? Fall in love with someone even better than the ex.

I'll repeat that:
Want to know how to get over a past love? Fall in love with someone even better than the ex. If you fall in love with someone that you truly feel is better(better match, more quality person, better looking ect) you will not feel the need to think about the past!

How do you fall in love with someone better quality. Actually the falling in love with someone that is better quality or a better match is easy! It's the finding and attracting that person that is the hard part.

Work on yourself:
Someone that is higher quality will also want an individual that is higher quality. Here's the deal or reality.....you might be the nicest guy on earth...but she'll never know that unless you pass her superficial screening test. All women screen. As do guys. It could be as simple as "does he have a job" or as grandiose as "does he make a million dollars". For the most part however women look for some universal characteristics that will ensure you that you can get your foot in the door. Once your foot is in the door THEN you can show off that awesome personality and whether or not your shoes are dirty doesn't really matter.

So what should you work on?
Well I think every guy knows exactly what their dream girl is attracted to. Be real with yourself. If you want a 5'10" blond with 36 34 36 dimensions it's safe to say she'd prefer a guy that at least worked out several times a week. If you want a woman that is smart...it's safe to say she wants a guy that she can discuss things with and can make her smarter! If you want the career woman that dresses well....well sir....you should be the male compliment of just that.

And when you do meet her. Smile first and make good eye contact the moment you see her. If she smiles back go say hello when you can. I assure you she's looking out for you too.

GQ

 

[kis123]

When I get the answer for that, I'll give you a shout!

I'm sorta' having the same issue with a gentleman I was with over three years. I came to the conclusion that either he has another woman, or he's dealing with mental health issues.

So I cut him off completely; no contact at all on any level for any reason. You're right, it's like trying to get off heroin cold turkey; the withdrawal still pains me to this day. I've moved on to a man who is generally better for me, but my ex still floods my head with thoughts.

Tropic Thunder is right; time does heal all wounds. But I'll add another dimension to that statement; it's about choice. If you did everything in the relationship you could and it failed, forgive yourself, learn from whatever mistakes you made, and move your life forward. Some days will be easier, some days it'll require sheer will on your part just to get through the day. But you will get stronger if you allow yourself to--that's where the choice comes in.

If she's moved on, you need to do the same.......it's harder than hell to do, but you just have to. Know that there are others in your same situation, I do feel your pain. My PM box is open if you ever need to chat; maybe this old-schooler can help you out.

 

[chicago]

Sleep with someone that doesn't remind you of said girl. That should at least take your mind off of her.

 

[herts tickler]

Sleep with someone that doesn't remind you of said girl. That should at least take your mind off of her.

win. do this.

 

[kis123]

Sleep with someone that doesn't remind you of said girl. That should at least take your mind off of her.

Well while having some sex wouldn't hurt, it won't make the pain go away especially if he's in the kind of pain described in the OP. It's a temporary fix; actually it's like trying to put a band aid over a bullet hole-it might stick for a bit, but eventually the bleeding continues.

GQ made some interesting points; you can't do anything to change her, but you can fix you and how you're handling your situation. You do need to move forward so you can move on to greater and better things (and women).

You're very young Shane and even though you're hurt and broken, you haven't truly met the love of your life yet. And you need to get yourself together at some point because she's not going to be attracted to a man who hasn't gotten over his ex; that's a good way to remain alone..........

 

[maniactickler]

Find another piece of ass! theres an endless sea of them out there!

 

[kis123]

Find another piece of ass! theres an endless sea of them out there!

I absolutely amazed that you're still single......

 

[shane2]

Thanks you guys but it's harder than any tipickle relationship me and her have a son together and she was the first person I ever loved this way. I havn't heard from her since we broke up or my son and I'm trying to advoid drama as much as possible I wish a piece of ass was easy to come by but I just been drinking, and smoking, some times it works but other times it brings back those memories but I hope this time thing does its job soon .
Its been alot harder to get outta bed theirs times I just want to be surrounded by darkness and I just wanna be isolated from every thing cause everything reminds me of her for dumbest reasons.
never will I let this disease posion my mind and cripple my heart again. If qupid was real I would so kick his ass.

 

[IrishTickle]

You never get over your first love, in my opinion. You just eventually learn to deal with it. Having a child make things more difficult, but generally you just have to keep yourself busy. The more time you're idle, the more time you'll be thinking of them. One thing that always seemed to ease the pain a bit for me was knowing that millions, f not billions of people have been through the same thing, so you're not alone. And they all got over them, and so will you.

 

[kis123]

Thanks you guys but it's harder than any tipickle relationship me and her have a son together and she was the first person I ever loved this way. I havn't heard from her since we broke up or my son and I'm trying to advoid drama as much as possible I wish a piece of ass was easy to come by but I just been drinking, and smoking, some times it works but other times it brings back those memories but I hope this time thing does its job soon .
Its been alot harder to get outta bed theirs times I just want to be surrounded by darkness and I just wanna be isolated from every thing cause everything reminds me of her for dumbest reasons.
never will I let this disease posion my mind and cripple my heart again. If qupid was real I would so kick his ass.

Okay, now that you've given more information I see a couple of things you can address. Please don't think I'm trying to run your life, just as some suggestions you can try to make your situation better:

1-baby mama drama! She does NOT have the right to keep you from your child especially if you're up to date on child support. It's time to get down to some business with that; I hate it when women use the kids as pawns. It hurts the child the most. Find out where you stand legally and pursue from there.

2-depression: You will not settle your problems with drugs and alcohol. Get out in the public, even if it's the library; you'll get some fresh air and new perspective. If that doesn't help, there are other therapies you can try until you get back on your feet. Take it from someone who knows all too well--self medication is not the answer.

3-And if you just want to blow off some steam, maybe some non committal sex wouldn't hurt. Just make sure you and her have that understanding and no one gets hurt.

 

[Leo tickles]

Tell her to fuck off with the drama and take legal action if applicable.

Other than that, time. I've had some pretty horrid break ups in the recent past, and I know what you're feeling. Also, listen to music to vent your anger and despair. Turning to drugs and drinks will just compromise your chance at interacting with your child should the legal system get involved in any way.

Make sure there are no neighbors around (or forget to, fuck knows I did), and just scream the following lyrics until you pass out. It's..... therapeutic. 🙂


http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FKry3R8J2mQ

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bujzO8Kilg4

Eventually, you'll go from screaming to singing, and from singing to talking, and from talking to moving on. Its so easy to think about how great she was, but in the end, was she that great? I'm sure she did something and that resulted in the break up, its never ALL you. So blame yourself until you realize how to improve, blame her until you feel .1111% better, and then realize that there are people out there who won't abandon you.

 

[Cosmo_ac]

Time heals all wounds.

It's totally cheesy, I know, but its true.

This.

But asside from this, try and keep yourself busy. A busy mind is not a wandering mind. You can do it in any number of ways. Work out, read a book, play video games, hanging out with friends and family can be very helpful as well. Point is, don't sit around and wallow, get out and get engaged with life.

 

[DianaBanana88]

That sorta thing takes time and yeah seeing other people could help alot lol

 

[Jagermeistered]

I would stick with Kis's recommendations, and Tropic's Suggestion.

 

[Dino Turtelli]

I'm having the same problem, I've been broken up with this one girl for a little over 2 years. I know deep down she is the one I'm meant to be with & I know she knows it too. When we were together we were practically the perfect couple. We only had one fight & that was right at the end, nothing like waiting til the end to let all ur frustrations out lol We loved each other, couldn't stand being away from each other, called & talked for hours & hours.

Well Idk what went wrong she never told me & she never really gave me a reason why she was dumping me, & of course its natural to blame the other & say its all their fault, but I know I didn't do anything wrong because I treated her like a princess. I would've taken a bullet for her hows that?

Anyway It sux & I'm still not over her, all my friends have forgotten about & when I bring it up they get mad, but I say forget them. I'm just hoping she'll come to her senses & one day she'll be back.

So my advice u can say as sad as you want to for however long you want to, your heart will heal when its ready to heal. The only thing I cant figure out we dated a year & a half & we've been broken up for 2? LOL maybe it takes twice the amount of time you were dating IDK.

 

[shane2]

Hey thanks you guys again but this chick don't know when to quit or doesn't relize WHEN she won so I went to her job yesterday to discuss matters about my son cause she hasn't answered my calls or anything so I get there and I go up to her and tell her when can I see my son she says sunday, or monday, and I said fine so I go home crawl into bed again because just seeing her made me feel even worst so about six hours later she calls me and tells what happen what did I want and i told her why are you playing these games and
I tell her how bad I been she starts laughing and she's telling me that she's glad to findout how horrible i been and its been good to be without me and I pretty sure shes found some one already she did n't wanna answer the question when I ask her so after like 6min later she tells me she'll call me back and I feel so much worst I literally feel like pucnhing the crap outta her and my gut feels like its caving in ,I feel cold sweat,and i'm holding back my tears with every ounce of my strenght.
I treated her so good she was the only person that can tell me what to do ,I never cheated, I did her family so many favors ,helped out so much only to have my soul tortured, and my conscience raped but tonite is my friends b-day bash so my goal for tonite it to conquer every girl in that room or party whatever but I must forget her by ANY MEANS necessary i know now that true love doesnt exist .

 

[PurpleStyle]

Hey thanks you guys again but this chick don't know when to quit or doesn't relize WHEN she won so I went to her job yesterday to discuss matters about my son cause she hasn't answered my calls or anything so I get there and I go up to her and tell her when can I see my son she says sunday, or monday, and I said fine so I go home crawl into bed again because just seeing her made me feel even worst so about six hours later she calls me and tells what happen what did I want and i told her why are you playing these games and
I tell her how bad I been she starts laughing and she's telling me that she's glad to findout how horrible i been and its been good to be without me and I pretty sure shes found some one already she did n't wanna answer the question when I ask her so after like 6min later she tells me she'll call me back and I feel so much worst I literally feel like pucnhing the crap outta her and my gut feels like its caving in ,I feel cold sweat,and i'm holding back my tears with every ounce of my strenght.
I treated her so good she was the only person that can tell me what to do ,I never cheated, I did her family so many favors ,helped out so much only to have my soul tortured, and my conscience raped but tonite is my friends b-day bash so my goal for tonite it to conquer every vagina in that room or party whatever but I must forget her by ANY MEANS necessary .

Yep, referring to women by their genitalia - I'm sure you were a real gentleman to her.

 

[shane2]

Yep, referring to women by their genitalia - I'm sure you were a real gentleman to her.

Hey purplestyle I totally forgot I asked for you opinon I see your speaking when not spoken to again and other people refered to getting a piece of ass in this thread but this goes to show you what kind of miserable person you are have you have to come all the way in here and put in your two cents where it doesn't count and now I know you really have to much time on your hands I guess the picture I sent to you of you wasn't enough this is all you can quote wow some expert you are you really need to get a life and who cares how bad you think of me it can't be as bad as what I think about you .

 

[PurpleStyle]

Hey purplestyle I totally forgot I asked for you opinon

When you post in a public forum, you're technically asking for everyone's opinion.

I see your speaking when not spoken to again

When you speak to women like that, I can't figure out why she broke up with you and is glad to be rid of you! Be still my beating heart.

and other people refered to getting a piece of ass in this thread but this goes to show you what kind of miserable person you are

So I'm miserable, because I think it's wrong to objectify women. Got it.

have you have to come all the way in here and put in your two cents where it doesn't count and now I know you really have to much time on your hands

You caught me. The journey to the "log in" button was arduous and full of perils, but for the chance just to be terrible to you? Oh so worth it my friend.

I guess the picture I sent to you of you wasn't enough

You mean the picture of the giant guy in the bloody tampon costume? Again, I ask, how can any woman not love you!? You fucking sexy bastard, you know just how to talk to a lady!

this is all you can quote wow some expert you are you really need to get a life and who cares how bad you think of me it can't be as bad as what I think about you .

Well, it's true, President Obama did hire me as one of his ass-kicking experts. Along with Tinky Winky, Chuck Norris, and Mr. T. They just didn't have time to put my name into the video.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yghFBt-fXmw

 

[kis123]

I know I'm risking having my head handed to me but....

Yep, referring to women by their genitalia - I'm sure you were a real gentleman to her.

I can't say his colorful use of the English language was the smartest thing to say, but really....is there a need to attack or kick a man when he's down? I know I've said more than my share of stupid things when in pain and probably drunk or under the influence.

Cut the man a little slack huh?

 

[kis123]

Hey purplestyle I totally forgot I asked for you opinon I see your speaking when not spoken to again and other people refered to getting a piece of ass in this thread but this goes to show you what kind of miserable person you are have you have to come all the way in here and put in your two cents where it doesn't count and now I know you really have to much time on your hands I guess the picture I sent to you of you wasn't enough this is all you can quote wow some expert you are you really need to get a life and who cares how bad you think of me it can't be as bad as what I think about you .

You said something foul and she called you on it. I'm not trying to mod, but you're on the way to messing up an otherwise decent thread.

In other words, if you don't eventually want your thread locked, consider letting it go.

 

[Leo tickles]

I highly doubt depression+alcohol+conquering every vagina in the room will help your situation.

 

[kis123]

I highly doubt depression+alcohol+conquering every vagina in the room will help your situation.

It won't and it'll probably make things worse.

But that's something he'll have to find out on his own like everyone else who tries to drown their sorrows and pain in a bottom of a bottle. You only end up with a hangover and some horrible memory on top of what you were already dealing with.

I do understand and feel his pain and hope for the best outcome for him. But he'll have to decide what direction to go. But fight like hell for the right to see the kid......go Cee Lo Green and "F*CK her", but be the father that kid needs to have.