How I got Rid of My Husband

[JoBelle]

A cute laugh! 😀
Joby


My husband and I fought constantly,
Why I married him,
I'll never know.
For all those miserable years I said,
My hubby's got to go!

Tried poisoning cakes,
stripping his brakes,
Salting his pork chops with lime.
Wiring his chair,
igniting his hair,
Even though arson's a crime.

But I failed at each plot
'til I suddenly thought
Of a way that would set me free!
I got rid of him for good
and know what?
They couldn't do a thing to me!

I took him back to Wal-Mart!
They'll take anything back you know!
They said they couldn't recall selling him,
But they must have if I said so.

They just credited him to my Visa
and said, "Ya'll come back now, 'ya hear?"
They were so nice, polite,
pleasant and insistent,
I'll take back his mother next year!

They'll take anything back at Wal-Mart,
Though it's broken or rotten or sweet.
And know what else?
This time of year
You don't even need a receipt!

I LOVE WAL-MART

 

[amk714]

I'm not married but...

Can we return wives also? 😀 Now I know why Wal-Mart's the #1 company in America. 😛 Thanks, Joby! That was cute. 🙂

 

[sole seeker]

LMAO! That was terrific JoBelle. *walks off shaking head and chuckling... "take back his mother next year!"*

 

[luv2bt&tickled]

LOL

Good one Joby, that was so funny!
Ya know there is some half truth to the joke, Wal-Mart will take back just about anything. LOL Thanks for sharing, I need a good laugh 🙂

 

[milagros317]

Very funny, JoBelle! 😀

I'm glad that I'm not married; I wouldn't want to be returnd to Wal-Mart.

 

[qjakal]

WalMart....

There's days when being restocked sounds heavenly...sigh. Sitting on a shelf, waiting to be put back into circulation, all that peace and quiet. Can you ask them to restock me near the TV/Computer Department? I could live with it.... 😉 Q

 

[JoBelle]

Re: WalMart....

There's days when being restocked sounds heavenly...sigh. Sitting on a shelf, waiting to be put back into circulation, all that peace and quiet. Can you ask them to restock me near the TV/Computer Department? I could live with it.... 😉 Q

VERY cute Mr. Jakal, Sir.
However, no such luck. Were ya mine, I'd just keep buying duct tape to repair ya. No returnin' THAT model to the store! 😉

I once worked in the accounting office of a Walmart when I was in college. You'd be surprised what people return after Christmas. How about a pile of USED wrapping paper. Why?? Oh, beacuse it ripped when they dropped the box it was wrapped around! 🙄 I kid ya not! People are hilarious! LOL

Joby, so glad I'm not in retail! LOL

 

[slave4tickles]

LOL thanks Joby that was really funny! And I did work at Wal-mart once and they will take back anything!😀 thanks for posting this!

 

[HeBeGeeBee]

Plus, Walmart always seems to have a "greeter" that looks just like my little old man waving his hand...😛

 

[TicklishPhoebe]

That was really funny 😀

On a related (but not nearly as side splittingly funny)note, there used to be a 'spam haiku' webpage, and one of the poems went something like this:

Fry Spam in butter
Serve with cheese and mayo
I hate my husband

 

[JoBelle]

Phoebe~!

I have to say that I think your poem is MUCH funnier. I dig that off the wall stuff! I've just passed it along to a coupel folks!

Joby