How important is control/domination to you?

[nessonite1]

When you are involved in (fantasy or real) an act of tickling, as 'ler or 'lee, how important to youis the aspect of control and domination?
And I don'tmean just physical control but mentally as well. As a 'ler do you find it important that your 'lee KNOW that he or she is at your mercy? As a 'lee do you need to feel completely dominated and that you have lost all control of your fate?
Or are things more even for you? Whether or not there is bondage should the 'lee always feel secure? An equal partner?
Of course I am refering to more serious 'behind closed doors' type of play. Not casual, playful, with-your-best-friend type of tickling.
I'd be interested in hearingy our thoughts on this. I've also included a poll for the lazy who don't wish to respond. 😉

 

[nessonite1]

Whew! TT seemed to have a technical hiccup while I was submitting the poll and I thought I had lost it!
Guess I should answer my own question. While I can and do enjoy all aspects and levels of tickling I have a definate appreciation for supreme domination.
I have always loved the feeling of control. Of being bigger and better and stronger than my 'lee to the point that I would probably enjoy the more 'abusive' fem-dom scenarios. Bringing someone from the point of being my equal to being my submissive.

Oddly enough I'd also certainly enjoy the same scenario completely reversed.
Not one to half ass something, if I'm going to be the 'lee I really would like to be dominated. Physically, mentally, everything. Though I'm not a real fan on pain I am open to the idea (you listening Big Jim?).

That's not to say, of course, that I don't still enjoy the lighter side of things. I do of course, immensely. But I'd also like to know how far you you would be comfortable taking things.

 

[MistressValerie1]

For me, it's about mental control. I am not at all into bondage; I like to order my partner to hold still just to see him try not to move around 🙂

At times I like to sit on my partner, maybe with another 'ler girl helping, but I prefer to keep it amusing and playful, not dark and sinister. Despite my "Mistress" nickname, I am not interested in the heavier forms of domination, not even in fantasy.

Luv to all,

 

[Steve&Charlotte1]

I cant vouch for Charlotte, but I think she agrees...

Domination isnt an issue... its who holds the element of surprise!

Tickle Fight!

 

[alf1]

Option number four.......it's a game afterall. Kinky but a game 🙂

 

[cosquillero1]

4th to my opinion too, although sometimes i use restrains, but with the agree of ticklee, of course.

 

[nessonite1]

lol Okay Im not (always) as evil as I made myself seem before. Your idea sounds good tome, Stevie! 😀

 

[MayDay1]

For me it's about being in control right at that particular moment. The instant the tickling ends we're both back to being equals. During tickling, I'm a miserable prick. Afterwards I'm massaging her back and getting her a glass of water. It's kind of tricky.

 

[nessonite1]

LOL Makes perfect sense to me, MayDay 😛. There are times when I want a 'ler to be a total jerk (and when I'm a ler sometimes I want to be a total jerk!) but I don't want someone who's an ass IRL. 😛

 

[Faramir]

#3..! :weird:

 

[amywood]

Nessie,

I take some exception to the wording of your first two poll options. A ticklee and/or submissive is NEVER a lesser person and ALWAYS has tremendous dignity. Within the Lifestyle, I always negotiate the first scene (and, maybe the first few scenes) and never accept "What ever you want, Sir". It's less about what I want and more about what she needs. Does she want to feel helpless or at my mercy? She will, but her feeling of security is paramount and she should know, without a doubt, that I will do nothing to intentionally injure her.

I have always loved the feeling of control. Of being bigger and better and stronger than my 'lee to the point that I would probably enjoy the more 'abusive' fem-dom scenarios. Bringing someone from the point of being my equal to being my submissive.

You may be confusing Domination with domineering, the differences could fill a book. Also, you can't make anyone submit, either they do or they do not.

Though I'm not a real fan on pain I am open to the idea.

You may want to look at two books, "The Loving Dominant" by John Warren and "Erotic Bondage" by Jay Wiseman.

Sometimes my thoughts and feeling don't come through in the words. This will probably be one of those times. Just my hunble opinion.

 

[nessonite1]

Sometimes my thoughts and feeling don't come through in the words. This will probably be one of those times. Just my hunble opinion.

Same here, my friend. 🙂 I wouldnt want anyone to be submissive if that isn't what they wanted as well. Sorry if I made you think that!

 

[TRU1]

#1, i like being in control..and i really dont like where the girls are to squirmy. like in f/f foot tickling videos, i like seeing the fingers scrape down the soles...

 

[HOLLYWOOD]

the hollywood brother perference is for him to be running wild and in total control however the hollywood brother leaves it up to the lady to decide how the hollywood brother acts. also the hollywood brother believes that even if someone wants to be in total control it is only if the lovely lady gives her or him permission. The hollywood brother also thinks that the submission is a great gift the the lee gives the hollywood brother because it shows, love, trust, understanding and thingsa of that nature brother.

 

[amywood]

also the hollywood brother believes that even if someone wants to be in total control it is only if the lovely lady gives her or him permission. The hollywood brother also thinks that the submission is a great gift the the lee gives the hollywood brother because it shows, love, trust, understanding and thingsa of that nature brother.

Yeah, what he said.

 

[HOLLYWOOD]

thank you amywood, the hulkamaniac brother's pa brother. It seems as if you is one smart tickler brother according to the hollywood brother. now can you dig that brother

 

[steph]

I'm kind of pretty much in control kind of girl in real life so I LOVE letting that go for the sake of a play session...

XOXO

 

[tukano_2]

For me it's a game, so there could be anything the players decide to put in it, from superchildish tickle-fights to heavy-dark scenarios, as long as everyone respects the rules and nobody gets injuried. If it's funny for everyone involved, and they can keep laughing about that even after the game is over, it's good 🙂
Personally I love playful, cheerful, silly, mindless tickling, no traces of pain, but it could be brought with no problem in a role playing environment, and domination fantasies are great, as long as they are fantasies.
Anyway for me is really important that the ticklee is unable to escape the tickling, if it's more than an occasional quick tickle, and I like to be "mean" and teasing as a tickler, as long as the ticklee is at her ease, and like the same when I'm the ticklee.

I'm kind of pretty much in control kind of girl in real life so I LOVE letting that go for the sake of a play session...

That is something that I particularly love: people who wouldn't let anyone in normal life give them orders or lose control for nothing on earth, but love to let someone else take advantage of their weaknesses (possibly not only ticklishness) in particular moments 🙂

 

[MistressValerie1]

submission is a great gift the the lee gives the [ler] because it shows, love, trust, understanding and thingsa of that nature brother.

Absolutely! Very well said, and exactly how I regard my lee as well 🙂

Luv,

 

[AcornaMordor]

I do not like a frantic, desperate shriek for mercy.. I'm not pitilous and I can't help but put myself in their position. I could never do to someone what I myself could not endure - especially not to a loved one...

 

[Steve&Charlotte1]

from superchildish tickle-fights

HEY!

Are you calling me childish?

*snigger*

 

[amywood]

thank you amywood, the hulkamaniac brother's pa brother. It seems as if you is one smart tickler brother according to the hollywood brother. now can you dig that brother

Thanks but 'smart' is, kinda, a relative term. It's Safe, Sane and Consensual or it's nothing.

 

[Ayla ny]

For me it's about being in control right at that particular moment. The instant the tickling ends we're both back to being equals. During tickling, I'm a miserable prick. Afterwards I'm massaging her back and getting her a glass of water. It's kind of tricky.

this really does sums it up nicely. the only thing I would change would be to replace the words “miserable *****” with "insatiable, ruthless tickler". see how much nicer that sounds? 😉

 

[HOLLYWOOD]

the hollywood brother is down with the consenual part of the dominations but the level of safety is the master's responisibility! That is what makes the hollywood brother a good tickling and bondage master because he cares about his subs and ticklees. now the hollywood brother can be ruthless and merciless but it all depends on what the lady wants

 

[amywood]

the hollywood brother is down with the consenual part of the dominations but the level of safety is the master's responisibility! That is what makes the hollywood brother a good tickling and bondage master because he cares about his subs and ticklees. now the hollywood brother can be ruthless and merciless but it all depends on what the lady wants

Yeah, what he said, again.

You seen to have a good way of putting my thoughts into words.