How is 'family' defined for YOU?

[Knox The Hatter]

Ordinarily, in the extensive past I have here in this place, I'd have left something like this to be asked by the likes of Brad The Baron, or more recently, Flock of Seagulls. Nevertheless, when thinking of A) your actual family, meaning your blood relations, or B), the kind of family you'd LIKE to have, what would define it? How would you define what a family really is, or what it actually should be?

To me, a real family would accept me unconditionally for the human being that I am...no judgements, no petty bullshit, no manipulations...

How about you?

 

[german]

Family to me, both blood and friends; is a group of unquestioned support. The term 'support' to me includes qualities such as loyalty, love, affection, etc..................

Kust

 

[DannyMc]

Just Some Family Values

Understanding would be a good place to start . Surely ,if they don't look down on you . Selfishness , be a great thing not to have . Togetherness and supportiveness just got to have it .

 

[Knox The Hatter]

To me, a family that acts like a family would treat you like you actually mattered in the ultimate scheme of things. My wife's family treats her like she's more or less superfluous...

 

[FlockOfSeagulls]

I feel very fortunate in that my family on my mothers side are extremely close. We were raised that ''family takes care of family''. We still see each other all the time. I see my 2nd and 3rd cousins more than most see there aunts & uncles. It seems like most people by there 30`s only see there family at funerals, weddings, and maybe family reunions.

 

[PCtickler]

To me, family is the most important thing in life. I have 3 older sisters and we see each other at least twice a week. They accept my wife as another 'sister' without question. I can't even think of a time when there has been a fight or a bad word said between my sisters and myself. When troubles come up with in-laws or such, we don't advise but let it be known that if they need help, money or a place to stay it's a non-issue. Some times I forget how fortunate I am. Best wishes with your troubles.

Regards,
Mike

 

[Mitchell]

"Family", to me, is anyone in my life, either blood relative, or close friend, who understands me, who I can lean on, or go to for advice, or who can lean on me. To me, since I am estranged from, and cant stand, most of my family, I consider my two best friends, and even certain people on this forum, more like family than most of my blood relations, except for my mom.
Honestly, while it is great to have a close relationship with blood relatives, for me, except for a scattered few, it just hasnt happened. So, for myself, I define my "family" as anyone who is there for me in my time of need, and who I am there for in their times of need. The fact that they have the "label" of "friend" doesnt matter to me, because, more often than not, those people are more important to me than my blood family is.

Mitch

 

[stloldg]

a family to me is anyone that I like and trust. the family i was born in i don't trust nor like. but i was bless to have a couple of people i met on the way that i consider my mom, sis and bro.

 

[Knox The Hatter]

"Family", to me, is anyone in my life, either blood relative, or close friend, who understands me, who I can lean on, or go to for advice, or who can lean on me. To me, since I am estranged from, and cant stand, most of my family, I consider my two best friends, and even certain people on this forum, more like family than most of my blood relations, except for my mom.
Honestly, while it is great to have a close relationship with blood relatives, for me, except for a scattered few, it just hasnt happened. So, for myself, I define my "family" as anyone who is there for me in my time of need, and who I am there for in their times of need. The fact that they have the "label" of "friend" doesnt matter to me, because, more often than not, those people are more important to me than my blood family is.

Mitch

So true. You can't choose your family.

If I could've chosen my family, there would've been two prospective ones: first, the family who I lived with in Montreal back when I was a teenager. When I first met them, I felt like they accepted me, unconditionally, lock, stock, and barrel, and made me feel more welcome in their home than I ever felt in my own. I'm so sorry I lost touch with them over the years...after they participated in the "English Flight" that departed Quebec in the early 1980s.

The other's a surrogate family of sorts...the family of a good old Navy friend down in Maryland, who I've known for the past twenty plus years. They always made me feel so welcome whenever I went down there, never passed judgement, or anything like that. My friend's dad would joke with me, "oh, you're here, huh?" They make me feel warm.

When I go down and visit my parents, it's like (and this applies much more to my mother than anyone else) I'm not a guest in their house as much as I'm someone who's temporarily taking up their space, and I should act accordingly. I really shouldn't take it personally, this is how they treat everyone ...and my attitude is, see ya in '08...

 

[tickleshotel]

Family to me are people that are friends who are dear to me who I have a attachment,closeness,respect,understanding utmost caring,concern and that extends to protection as I would do almost anything for someone that I care about,love them who they are,and I wouldn;t be a parent to them and give them lectures but if I feel that those I care about and consider family are doing something harmful to themselves or others,I would sensitively speak to them about it expressing my concern but i don;t think it really would be my place to tell them what to do or not to..
As far as my biologal family, I get along with my dad as I feel I am more like him in alot of ways,and when I look at my mother,I don;t see any common characteristics..I haven;t spoken to or seen my older brother in 5 years who I don't think we would have anything to say to each other even if we did and I am just going on with my life as if I don;t have a brother and this is due to despite my sending cards and gifts to his 4 kids ,I get no Thank you card or acknowlegement in return ..and my sister I saw a few months ago while on vacation with my folks ,we talk occasionally and when we do I hear what my brother is doing which hurts .