I've posted another thread talking about foot and/or tickling as fetish or something in addition to a 'regular sex drive'. I'm in the latter category, but I'm going to use the term fetish as an umbrella term for ease.
I noticed in a couple of threads, people talking about the secrecy of their fetish and I get the feeling that some people are slightly ashamed of the matter. I've started this thread so that anyone who may have some words of wisdom may impart those pearls to others who may be at a point where they desperately need it; especially with a loved one.
Before you attempt anything, you need to be clear how important the tickling fetish is to you. Is it something that you can give or take, or is it something that you can't live without? Are you able to actually let it go and remain true to your partner, or are you inclined to seek the satisfaction elsewhere?
My major piece of advice is that in a relationship, get it out early. There are several reasons for this: firstly, if you're up-front and honest early, there's more chance of it being accepted as something of a ground rule - something is part of who you are and isn't to be changed (assuming you don't want to compromise it). Also, if you string someone along and tell them later on, chances are that it will seem as if you don't entirely trust that special someone, who may feel somewhat rebuked by a lack of candour.
At the outset, I have to make it clear that there is one carnal rule when it comes to telling anyone about a non-mainstream sexual preference: you have to treat it as if it's entirely normal. I think a lot of people, when they have to admit to something unusual, tend to act ashamed and uncertain. The critical thing is that if you act like it's weird, chances are that's how it'll be all.
Above all, you've got to be open about it. Naturally, questions like "So how did this happen?" and "But what do you get out of tickling?" are destined to follow. In short, you can answer these types of questions with more questions like "Why do men get turned on by breasts?" In other words it's something that can't be explained, nor should it have to be.
Thirdly, you have to be confident in yourself. You need to be able to tell your partner/friends that this is a part of you and that you don't necessarily want to change it. If your partner/friend isn't able to coape with the idea, you need to be asking yourself the one critical question: "Can I bend on this?"
If you try to push this down, knowing that you can't restrain this natural urge, you are probably more likely to end up resenting your partner for their failure to fulfil you sexually, or enter 'no man's land' by looking for the gratification you want elsewhere. Relationships are give and take but you have to make sure that you're not giving more than you can actually give (We call that 'nemo dat quad non habet' in law as a crude analogy).
Finally, you need to be prepared for all outcomes. You need to be prepared that this might get blown out of your control and may be told to others. Sometimes, no matter how good a judge of character we are, we can't predict what others will do with our sensitive information.
I for one told a close frind of mine who went out and told a whole series of friends. Ironically, I built up the courage to explain it to them and ended up earning a lot of respect for being so honest with them, particularly when I was put in that position against my will (boy did I enjoy the public roasting that my new enemy received thereafter!)
The point is that there is every chance that your secret may become scandal; if you really are comfortable with yourself, that needs to come across in your handling of the subject.
In short, the 'problem' is only a 'problem' if you make it sound like one. I have told every one of my girlfriends about my affinity for tickling and two agreed to be regular ticklees after the break-up. Even more prudish ones were eventually swayed, simply by the fact that I was able to speak openly about it.
I've found that a fantastic little analogy is that it's not like those who derive pleasure from taking advantage of others. It is meant to be a consensual activity that can bring heightened sexual and romantic experience as an embodiment of trust in your partner and a kinky little bedroom activity.
Above all, make sure that, if you get you're partner's go-ahead, that you don't go all-in too soon. By that, I mean don't use it as an excuse to torture the hell out of them every five minutes or tickle them to the point of exhaustion. Make sure you start slow and ease it in. Talk about it, work up to more sadistic tickle encountrers, if that is your flavour.
I don't know if this helps at all. If any of you are like me, I had my heart in my throat when I knew that I needed to tell my first serious girlfriend. But ironically, betrayal caused my to have more faith in myself and what I enjoy. I can honestly tell you, though, that if your partner is worth the time, the fact alone that you tell them, whether you want to indulge your fetish or not, will prove to them the level of trust that you repose in them and your relationship, if it is worth a damn, will be that much stronger for the risk.
But remember, there is always a risk.
I noticed in a couple of threads, people talking about the secrecy of their fetish and I get the feeling that some people are slightly ashamed of the matter. I've started this thread so that anyone who may have some words of wisdom may impart those pearls to others who may be at a point where they desperately need it; especially with a loved one.
Before you attempt anything, you need to be clear how important the tickling fetish is to you. Is it something that you can give or take, or is it something that you can't live without? Are you able to actually let it go and remain true to your partner, or are you inclined to seek the satisfaction elsewhere?
My major piece of advice is that in a relationship, get it out early. There are several reasons for this: firstly, if you're up-front and honest early, there's more chance of it being accepted as something of a ground rule - something is part of who you are and isn't to be changed (assuming you don't want to compromise it). Also, if you string someone along and tell them later on, chances are that it will seem as if you don't entirely trust that special someone, who may feel somewhat rebuked by a lack of candour.
At the outset, I have to make it clear that there is one carnal rule when it comes to telling anyone about a non-mainstream sexual preference: you have to treat it as if it's entirely normal. I think a lot of people, when they have to admit to something unusual, tend to act ashamed and uncertain. The critical thing is that if you act like it's weird, chances are that's how it'll be all.
Above all, you've got to be open about it. Naturally, questions like "So how did this happen?" and "But what do you get out of tickling?" are destined to follow. In short, you can answer these types of questions with more questions like "Why do men get turned on by breasts?" In other words it's something that can't be explained, nor should it have to be.
Thirdly, you have to be confident in yourself. You need to be able to tell your partner/friends that this is a part of you and that you don't necessarily want to change it. If your partner/friend isn't able to coape with the idea, you need to be asking yourself the one critical question: "Can I bend on this?"
If you try to push this down, knowing that you can't restrain this natural urge, you are probably more likely to end up resenting your partner for their failure to fulfil you sexually, or enter 'no man's land' by looking for the gratification you want elsewhere. Relationships are give and take but you have to make sure that you're not giving more than you can actually give (We call that 'nemo dat quad non habet' in law as a crude analogy).
Finally, you need to be prepared for all outcomes. You need to be prepared that this might get blown out of your control and may be told to others. Sometimes, no matter how good a judge of character we are, we can't predict what others will do with our sensitive information.
I for one told a close frind of mine who went out and told a whole series of friends. Ironically, I built up the courage to explain it to them and ended up earning a lot of respect for being so honest with them, particularly when I was put in that position against my will (boy did I enjoy the public roasting that my new enemy received thereafter!)
The point is that there is every chance that your secret may become scandal; if you really are comfortable with yourself, that needs to come across in your handling of the subject.
In short, the 'problem' is only a 'problem' if you make it sound like one. I have told every one of my girlfriends about my affinity for tickling and two agreed to be regular ticklees after the break-up. Even more prudish ones were eventually swayed, simply by the fact that I was able to speak openly about it.
I've found that a fantastic little analogy is that it's not like those who derive pleasure from taking advantage of others. It is meant to be a consensual activity that can bring heightened sexual and romantic experience as an embodiment of trust in your partner and a kinky little bedroom activity.
Above all, make sure that, if you get you're partner's go-ahead, that you don't go all-in too soon. By that, I mean don't use it as an excuse to torture the hell out of them every five minutes or tickle them to the point of exhaustion. Make sure you start slow and ease it in. Talk about it, work up to more sadistic tickle encountrers, if that is your flavour.
I don't know if this helps at all. If any of you are like me, I had my heart in my throat when I knew that I needed to tell my first serious girlfriend. But ironically, betrayal caused my to have more faith in myself and what I enjoy. I can honestly tell you, though, that if your partner is worth the time, the fact alone that you tell them, whether you want to indulge your fetish or not, will prove to them the level of trust that you repose in them and your relationship, if it is worth a damn, will be that much stronger for the risk.
But remember, there is always a risk.
