Hello and welcome to the Psychiatric Hotline....
Please select the type of assistance that you require and follow the instructions:
1 If you are compulsive/obsessive, - press 1 repeatedly
2 If you are co-dependant - get someone else to press 2 for you.
3 If you are schitzophrenic - a little voice will tell you which button to push.
4 If you suffer from multiple personality disorder-press 3,4,5 and 6
5 If you are manic depressive, - press any button, it won`t matter anyway!
6 If you are paranoid delusional, - just hang up - we know who you are and we'll get you sooner or later.
Please select the type of assistance that you require and follow the instructions:
1 If you are compulsive/obsessive, - press 1 repeatedly
2 If you are co-dependant - get someone else to press 2 for you.
3 If you are schitzophrenic - a little voice will tell you which button to push.
4 If you suffer from multiple personality disorder-press 3,4,5 and 6
5 If you are manic depressive, - press any button, it won`t matter anyway!
6 If you are paranoid delusional, - just hang up - we know who you are and we'll get you sooner or later.
I love it! 
