How/where did you/would you choose to move?

[duderino84]

Ok, here's one of my late night ponderings, which I felt like talking about.

I have generally lived in my neighborhood nearly my thirty years of being on the planet. I live in central jersey, and I have family north of me (not much) and south of me (a little more). Ironically i still live "at home" but my parents spend a neutered good half of the year in a vacation home out of state. They supposedly want to sell the house, as it's served our purpose.

It always seems as if at least once a week I get asked what I want to do. Thus far, with everything I've really went after not working out (at the most base observational level), I don't really *want* anything.

I mean I hate my town but it offers me a functional life. I have a job that barely pays me (not enough to do much with, hence I'm looking for another), I have a few friends, and therefore since my friends are band mates, I have a band (beginning to feel growing pains on this topic, friends are already starting to move on in their lives). Those are the good points. The bad? Well, my dating life could be turned into a sitcom (in the worst way.....on and off and frequent dumping), the job just pisses me off to no end (billing position in an office in a warehouse DIRECTLY CONNECTED to the warehouse.....don't get me started), every career direction I've attempted to take for change has been shot down in one form or another by life, I work an average 55 hours a week and can't afford a home the way my town jacks up taxes, and there's no nightlife as the cops kill anything off resembling a good time because it's a "family development" neighborhood.

It's either stay around this, or move nearby, or move down to south jersey where I know virtually nothing about the area other than I'd be around Atlantic city, a couple universities, and my sister/her boyfriend. Oh, did I mention my folks want to "stay" with either one of us when they make their jersey stops? Lol.

I'm lost on life honestly and I'm just trying to stay calm, but I have no clue on how to better this situation.

Thoughts?

 

[BigJim]

Very similar to my current situation, in lots of ways.

One day I was presented with a chance to move, although the process of getting ready for it is going to take several months. I'm moving and be bollocksed to the consequences. A change is as good as a rest so "they" say, and I think it would probably apply to you as well, so long as you don't have a compelling reason NOT to move.

 

[duderino84]

I guess my biggest issue is I think I'll end up in the same situation I'm now, except worse...the band thing wouldn't really bother me much as I like working on stuff alone in my own time anyhow.

 

[BigJim]

If you make sure you've got a job to go to, could it be worse?

 

[duderino84]

If you make sure you've got a job to go to, could it be worse?

I've been applying central and south, but I think employers are put off I'm applying for positions in areas that are two hour drive away.

I might just have to jump in the mix. Aside from listing my "residence" as my sisters address to get noticed.

 

[BigJim]

I've been applying central and south, but I think employers are put off I'm applying for positions in areas that are two hour drive away.

I might just have to jump in the mix. Aside from listing my "residence" as my sisters address to get noticed.

Do you include that you're intending to move home once you have an appointment?

 

[duderino84]

Honestly I haven't gotten a single interview/phone call yet...

 

[CaptainValiant]

If the cost of living wasn't so high, I'd move to San Diego, CA in a heart beat. Great weather, I hear. If I wanted to move out of the states, I'd pick Vancouver, BC.

 

[duderino84]

If the cost of living wasn't so high, I'd move to San Diego, CA in a heart beat. Great weather, I hear. If I wanted to move out of the states, I'd pick Vancouver, BC.

Out of the states is an interesting concept, but for probably the next ten years I'll basically say until I'm set and can deal here, I can't deal in another country

 

[Mitchell]

The last time I moved, I was forced to move. I was living in PA with my mom, and she passed away. I had no reason to stay there, as I had no personal or business connections worth staying for, so I moved here to NY, and it was the right decision. My family and close long term friends are here.

Now.. I'm just hopeful my career as an insurance agent takes off. If so.. I'm going to stay right where Iam, and maybe even in this apartment, unless I meet a woman, who would want to live somewhere else in the NYC area, in which case I might do that.

 

[Dialon]

I actually moved quite a lot last year. From Ohio, to New Mexico, to Texas, and now I am back in New Mexico with my own little apartment. Where I really want to move is Oregon, don't care where there, but I love the scenery there. I would take a minimum wage job and get a small, crappy studio apartment and live happily if I was there.

 

[BrightEyes1082]

Well, if you live in your parents' house and they are selling it, your choices are: move, or move.
If you are planning on staying in the area, step 1 is to get an apartment. If your desire is to leave
the area in the next six months to a year, try to get a lease with a corresponding length. When you
apply for jobs in other areas, be sure to include in your cover letter that your plan is to move to the
new job. Perhaps you could also ask for a performance review and a raise at your current job.

I have moved quite a bit. It's difficult to get a job far away from where you live. The last time I did
that was in 2008 when I was trying to move to Boston. I applied for close to 200 jobs and even had
a couple of interviews, but my first offer was actually a transfer with the Charleston company I was
working for at the time. I took the job, and they paid for my move.

I hope you get it figured out. First things first, start apartment hunting!

 

[berlinerbaer]

Hi Duderino,

from your description I get the impression that you need a new career more urgently than a new place to live. Bookstores and libraries are full of books for people who are in search for a new direction in their professional life. I personally prefer strategies where you start with brain storming about what you really love to do in life, without thinkiing about how to make money. Only in a second step try to find out how to make money with what you love doing. Maybe you want to go back to school, or start your own business, or join a non profit organization, or teach scuba diving or sailing in the Carribean or Mediterranian, open a restaurant, become a hypnotist or a magician ... try to be open to as many things as possible.

If and where you want to move to precisely can then follow as a consequence from finding your new career. At the start you should only be clear about how for outside you current comfort zone you are willing to make your next step.

All the best for you!

 

[duderino84]

Well, if you live in your parents' house and they are selling it, your choices are: move, or move.
If you are planning on staying in the area, step 1 is to get an apartment. If your desire is to leave
the area in the next six months to a year, try to get a lease with a corresponding length. When you
apply for jobs in other areas, be sure to include in your cover letter that your plan is to move to the
new job. Perhaps you could also ask for a performance review and a raise at your current job.

I have moved quite a bit. It's difficult to get a job far away from where you live. The last time I did
that was in 2008 when I was trying to move to Boston. I applied for close to 200 jobs and even had
a couple of interviews, but my first offer was actually a transfer with the Charleston company I was
working for at the time. I took the job, and they paid for my move.

I hope you get it figured out. First things first, start apartment hunting!

I want to leave, I'm just afraid I'll be trash canning everything I have to go back to. Like I said. My friends/band that I love/hate. Job definitely has to go......you have no clue how cheap these guys are. I even tried moving up in position, because I knew they would be looking for someone to fill our latest IT position. I'm after experience over any raise they could offer. But "upward mobility" is code for "no money right now, spend a decade or two maybe well have something".

Hi Duderino,

from your description I get the impression that you need a new career more urgently than a new place to live. Bookstores and libraries are full of books for people who are in search for a new direction in their professional life. I personally prefer strategies where you start with brain storming about what you really love to do in life, without thinkiing about how to make money. Only in a second step try to find out how to make money with what you love doing. Maybe you want to go back to school, or start your own business, or join a non profit organization, or teach scuba diving or sailing in the Carribean or Mediterranian, open a restaurant, become a hypnotist or a magician ... try to be open to as many things as possible.

If and where you want to move to precisely can then follow as a consequence from finding your new career. At the start you should only be clear about how for outside you current comfort zone you are willing to make your next step.

All the best for you!

Your impression is accurate....but it's me knowing my family always draws back to the "where the jobs are" argument. I've been open. Sometimes to my detriment.

I've done a bunch of things within grasp so far. I went to college and tried to become a teacher. Went to real estate school twice. Played in a cover band. And went to school for IT.....up to the point of certificate testing I was fooled I knew what was up. The industry wants someone with all their limbs stuck in the door now, not just a foot.

I just feel like I've failed in all areas lately.

 

[BrightEyes1082]

Get your certificates, then, and start applying all over.

 

[duderino84]

Get your certificates, then, and start applying all over.

Way easier said than done these days. Trying to find a job that's willing to train some.

 

[Alliekat]

My husband and I moved from Chapel Hill, NC in 1993 to Portland, Oregon. He had a job offer there and I was interested in a company in Seattle, Washington. I worked for them full time for a few years, traveling to and from Seattle a lot and after my daughter was born and was eventually able to get some office space with a few other co-workers in Portland. These days, my husband travels a lot for work and I work from home most days, so we could technically live anywhere, but Portland is where our life is so we've stayed and are happy with it for the most part.

 

[duderino84]

Yea I hear you. Home is where you make it. Just lately I'm trying to make it somewhere else where I have little knowledge of how to do it.