your houseplants are alive and you can't smoke any of them
having sex in a twin bed is out of the question
there's more food than beer in your fridge
6 a.m. is when you get up, not when you go to bed
you hear your favorite song playing in the elevator (yikes!)
you watch the weather channel
your friends marry and divorce instead of "hookup" and "breakup"
you go from 130 days of vacation to 14
jeans and a sweater no longer passes for "dressed up"
your older relatives finally feel comfortable telling sex jokes around you
you don't know what time Taco Bell closes anymore
your car insurance goes down and your car payments go up
you feed your dog Science Diet's instead of McDonald's leftovers
you take naps
sleeping on the couch hurts your back
you go to the drugstore for ibuprofin and Pepto instead of pregnancy kits and condoms
a $5.00 bottle of wine is no longer "pretty good shit"
you actually eat breakfast at breakfast time
90% of the time you spend in front of the computer is for real work
when you find out your friend is pregnant and you congratulate her instead of "Oh shit, what the hell happened?"
having sex in a twin bed is out of the question
there's more food than beer in your fridge
6 a.m. is when you get up, not when you go to bed
you hear your favorite song playing in the elevator (yikes!)
you watch the weather channel
your friends marry and divorce instead of "hookup" and "breakup"
you go from 130 days of vacation to 14
jeans and a sweater no longer passes for "dressed up"
your older relatives finally feel comfortable telling sex jokes around you
you don't know what time Taco Bell closes anymore
your car insurance goes down and your car payments go up
you feed your dog Science Diet's instead of McDonald's leftovers
you take naps
sleeping on the couch hurts your back
you go to the drugstore for ibuprofin and Pepto instead of pregnancy kits and condoms
a $5.00 bottle of wine is no longer "pretty good shit"
you actually eat breakfast at breakfast time
90% of the time you spend in front of the computer is for real work
when you find out your friend is pregnant and you congratulate her instead of "Oh shit, what the hell happened?"
