Humor?

[qjakal]

A saleswoman is driving toward home in Elko when she sees a Native American woman hitchhiking. Because the trip had been long and quiet, she stops the car and the Indian woman gets in.

After a bit of small talk, the Indian woman notices a brown bag on the front seat. "What's in the bag?", she asks. "It's a bottle of wine. I got it for my husband", says the saleswoman.

The Indian woman is silent for a while, nods several times, and then says,

"Good trade".

 

[TicklingDuo]

Cute Q! At least the wine is guaranteed to keep you warm. Some hubbies won't do that one. They aren't all as sweet and cuddly as mine!

Ann

 

[qjakal]

More Fem Humor?

A motorcycle patrolman was rushed to the hospital with an
inflamed appendix. The doctors operated and advised him that
all was well. However, the patrolman kept feeling something
pulling at the hairs on his chest. Worried that it might be
a second surgery the doctors hadn't told him about, he
finally got enough energy to pull his hospital gown down
enough so he could look at what was making him so
uncomfortable.

Taped firmly across his hairy chest were three wide strips
of adhesive tape, the kind that doesn't come off easily.
Written in large black letters was the sentence.

"Get well quick..... from the nurse you gave a ticket to
last week."

Ouch ... Q

 

[BigJim]

LOL You could almost call that "BRitish" humour. 😀

 

[qjakal]

Pasta Diet

Just walk pasta bakery without stopping.
Walk pasta candy store without stopping.
Walk pasta ice cream shop without stopping.

 

[Haltickling]

Weightwatchers' advice? 😛

 

[Strelnikov]

A pregnant woman walks into a bank, and lines up at the first available teller. Just at that moment the bank gets robbed and she is shot three times in the stomach. She gets rushed to the hospital where she gets fixed up. As she leaves she asks the doctor about her baby. The doctor says, "You're going to have triplets. They're fine but each one has a bullet lodged in its stomach. Don't worry though the bullets will pass through their system through normal metabolism."

As time goes on the woman has three children. Two girls and a boy. Twelve years later, one of the girls comes up to her mother and says, "Mommy, I've done a very weird thing!" Her mother asks her what happened and her daughter replies, "I passed a bullet into the toilet." The woman comforts her and explains all about the incident at the bank.

A few weeks later, her other daughter comes up to her with tears streaming from her eyes and says, "Mommy, I've done a strange thing!" The mother says, "Let me guess. You passed a bullet into the toilet, right?" The daughter looks up from her teary eyes and says,

"Yes. How did you know?"

The mother comforts her child and explains about the incident at the bank.

A month later the boy comes up and says, "Mommy, I've done a very bad thing!"

She responds, "You passed a bullet into the toilet, right?"

He says, "No, I was jerking off, and I shot the dog."


Strelnikov

 

[JoBelle]

LOL Y'all~!

Hey, what's the difference between a lightbulb and a pregnant woman?

You can unscrew a lightbulb

*rimshot*
Joby

 

[siamese dream]

An irish man walks into a bar with a steering wheel sticking out of his fly.

The bartender says, "hey there, did you know you've got a steering wheel sticking out of your fly?"

Irish man replies "Yes, it's driving me nuts".

 

[Deleted member 2452]

2 blondes, and a brunette,...

are walking down the beach.
they find a lamp, and rub it.
out pops a genie, and grants them all 1 wish;
the brunette says she pretty happy with life, but men don't pay enough attention to her, so she want's to be 1/2 as smart. so poof she's turned into a red head.

next the first blond says she wants to be 50% smarter, and is turned into a red head.

then the second blonde says she likes being a dumb blonde, and wants to be even dumber! so the genie turns her into a guy!

steve