Hypothetical friend drama

[PurpleStyle]

Okay, hypothetical situation: You have 3 girls. That's pretty sexy already. We're going to arbitrarily assign them letter names; Girl A, Girl D, and Girl R. Girl A and Girl R will never get along (they have an unresolved problem they both contributed to), but are both friends with Girl D. Girl A is totally fine with that, but Girl R is overly-emotional, jealous, and selfish. She clearly has emotional problems.

Girl R doesn't like that Girl D is friends with Girl A, and attempts to emotionally blackmail Girl D into not being friends with Girl A. She tries to guilt trip Girl D, saying she feels hurt, she's crying, and some other BS - all because she's friends with Girl A. But she doesn't bother to consider how Girl A would feel if her friend was ripped away from her. Girl D doesn't fall for it because she's not an idiot, so Girl R shows her true colors and forces an ultimatum on her. Girl R says Girl D must choose whose friend she is going to be.

Am I only the person that thinks forcing your friends to choose between them, no matter how much you dislike their friends, is a complete dick move? This kind of BS is completely unnecessary, and if a person actually cares about their friends, they would never pull that on them. I can't possibly be the only person who thinks this is wrong.

 

[mikepd]

Whoa. This is more confusing than that time I hade lunch with Adam West.

 

[Dave2112]

...and he is a man who enjoys his taffy.

Ok, anyway...

Yeah, this is kinda BS. Personal blackmail of your friends should be the first sign that the person doing the blackmailing isn't worthy of your friendship. Unfortunately, it happens far too often. I am assuming you're talking about real-life here, and not the internet version of "friendship"? If that's the case, I'd be seriously considering that both girls ditch Girl Bitch.

Manipulation of other people to raise your status or keep "friends" is kinda slimy. And, you have to think about the value of anyone who'd actually go along with it, not just the one initiating it.

Let's say Boy A and Girl B have a falling out. Girl B loses face, so seeks sympathy from Girl C, Girl D and so on through the alphabet. However, Girl J, Boy M and Boy Q don't see the big deal, so Girl B raises the stakes by making the story bigger and bigger until Boy A now has malicious and false tales attributed to him. Boy A doesn't worry much, as he knows the true story. However, Girl B uses the emotional blackmail you've given an example of and plays the "victim card". Boys and Girls throughout the alphabet chose to believe her at face value. This is when Boy A realizes that the rest of the alphabet aren't worthy of his regard and are just as slimy as Girl B.

If these sort of things are going on in your relationships, be they personal or social, it's best to leave it be and find friends of a higher morality and intelligence.

 

[sadi]

Well, I think you've answered your own hypothetical discussion.

if a person actually cares about their friends, they would never pull that on them.

According to you (and the rest of civilization with a conscience deeper than a puddle I'd certainly hope), no matter how much they may dislike the other person, they should let 'Girl D' hang out with whomever they desire; it's their own fault if they end up shooting themselves in the foot for hanging out with 'the wrong girl', despite how embittered they (using 'Girl R' from your 'hypothetical' situation) are towards the other girl. Let 'Girl D' hear both girls views on all the different reasons why she shouldn't be hanging out with her, or whatever else, but ultimately, let 'Girl D' make her own choice.

If given an ultimatum, if anything I'd think that would egg the desired girl to finalize her friendship with the other girl, instead of stick with the one who forced her to make a decision, likely feeling an obligation to continue that now 'forced' friendship.

 

[Dijiah]

Arite, listen fih mih talk now.

First of all, I'm 99.9 percent sure that you are Girl A.
Moreover, yes I believe that it are fuckery for Girl R to attempt to force Girl D to discontinue being friends with Girl A.

If Girl D are intelligent, the natural repercussions will fall into place.
In Girl R's attempt to have Girl D discard Girl A, Irony should have it that Girl R will be discarded instead. This, apparently, can only happen if Girl D realizes that a true friend wouldn't attempt this, so a true friend isn't worth keeping around.

Seen?

 

[melanie2]

Well i'll tell you something..i was guilty of that myself..not for shallow or selfish reasons..but my friend was a friend to someone who hated me..and trashed me etc..and i didn't demand that she stop being friends with that other person, but let her know i wasn't happy about it..but in the last few months..i.e. six months or so..i've come to realize something..my friend is my friend no matter what..what anyone else thinks of me doesn't change how she feels about me..and vice versa...she loves me unconditionally as i do her...and who she chooses to befriend is really none of my business..i've grown up a great deal these last months...and at my age it's about time..

 

[Big_Dogg85]

I think as well, to add to said hypothetical, one must consider the state of mind of Girl R: Why is it that she would resort to such a tactic when, assuming she must at least understand the worst case scenario, that her attempts would backfire as the previous posters have surmised?

I understand this situation very well and can definitely see the points of view from both D and R. With Girl D, being forced to choose one or the other is a choice no one should have to make when it comes to friends. The same feelings and opinions repeat here: Girl R should have more consideration for Girl D's feelings as well as the understanding that she can't force Girl D who to be friends with and who not to be friends with. At the same time, I can also see from Girl R's point of view as I believe I have shared this similar position in the past. (though I don't believe in ultimatums... too lazy to bother 😛 )
Beneath all of that jealousy and bad emotional state may probably lie a person with an extremely fragile confidence and low self-esteem. Resorting to such a tactic might be Girl R's fear manifesting itself: the fear that eventually she and her good/best friend Girl D will drift apart even though that may never be the case. I can definitely attest that if you tell yourself something enough times that you eventually believe it to be true, even though it's not. This girl, through her lack of self-confidence and depressed emotional state, has probably told herself that if she doesn't intervene that her friendship WILL fade away and she may very well fall into a deeper state of depression and low self-confidence so, in a sense, this is her mind and sanity defending itself.

If you ask me, this is something you can't abide by but you also can't ignore... perhaps a conversation with between Girl D and Girl R, where Girl D's feelings on the ultimatum as well as the reasons Girl R would even resort to such a nasty method are put on the table and proper discussion is had.

 

[Barefoot_Sis]

Which of the three is most ticklish? What size feet does girl D have? Is Girl A interested in tickling Girl R on the ribs? Does girl D have ticklish underarms? Do you have any pictures of the three girls barefoot? Can you post them? Please?

Anyway, my advice: If you're one of them, dump the other two. If not, dump all three. None sound ticklish, anyway.

More importantly, I have met Adam West, and he is not confusing at all to talk to. He talks about himself. His ranch. His daughters. His career. His monologue ( it's never actually a dialogue) is about him, and like most actors, he never deviates from the self-absorbed script. Except when he talks to his invisible friend the Shinigami Ryuk, and pulls out his Death Note.

 

[PurpleStyle]

Yeah, basically Dijiah pegged me as Girl A dead on. :stickout Girl R is apparently gone because Girl D is not swayed by oversensitive control freaks. As far as I'm concerned, the matter is resolved. 🙂 I appreciate everyone's feedback - serious or not. :lol