I Am Still Not Dead (For Reasons Unknown)

[Lee47]

So anyway, my friends and I got together one last time for the year last night (Saturday) and a good time was had by all, until about 1 AM when we all were getting in our cars to go home. My friend, who shall remain my friend, was in his huge 6-wheel pickup, parked up ahead of me at the 11:00 position, about 5 yards distant. He and his wife were already in the truck. His lights had been on for a few minutes, as he had the truck warming up. I was getting into my car, 1 foot in the door, left foot still on the ground. I was moving slowly/carefully because the ground was a little icy and treacherous. Picturing this OK? (What I didn't realize, and what I want to spell out now for the sake of laying no blame to anyone involved, is that I unwittingly was parked in the one spot his offside mirror could not see.....insert ominous foreshadowing music)

The next thing I saw was the backup lights of my friend's truck. "Ohshit ohshit ohshit FUCKME" was all I remember saying (yelling, really) or thinking, other than thinking that I was going to kiss my car goodbye. But it was almost worse than that. By a mllion to one chance of lining up, his truck missed my front end, but instead the bumper scraped down my left front fender and slammed my door for me (ON me). The taillight was at the perfect height to blow the mirror most of the way off the door. If my buddy hadn't hit the brakes in time, he would have crushed me in my door, doing a greater or lesser amount of bodily harm as opposed to just giving me a minor adrenaline surge which I walked off while we inspected the damage to both vehicles (my mirror took out his taillight too).

To my friend's credit, he is going to pick up my deductible for getting the car fixed. The important bit is, I'm alive and typing this. Quantum physics tells us that there is another universe where a sheriff's deputy knocked on our door and brought my wife horrible news in the dark hours; but I am currently experiencing this quantum reality. Good thing too.

Merry Christmas (belatedly), equivalent seasonal greetings, and Happy New Year.

 

[dalekfire]

Quantum Hollywood physics also tells us that there is another universe where an alternative you is jumping from rooftop to rooftop, spin-kicking people in true Jet Li fashion and plotting to use some form of interdimensional travel to find and assassinate you in order to increase his own power and become god-like.

Thank goodness it wasn't him driving the car at you, and thank goodness you're all right. Welcome back! 😛

 

[TKLVR181]

Glad you're ok, and who knows, maybe that was a fixed point. Let's hope so @.@

~K

 

[Rox_My_Sox1]

Quantum Hollywood physics also tells us that there is another universe where an alternative you is jumping from rooftop to rooftop, spin-kicking people in true Jet Li fashion and plotting to use some form of interdimensional travel to find and assassinate you in order to increase his own power and become god-like.

Thank you Dalek. I had nearly FORGOTTEN the movie, "The One". Now all the memories are coming back...all of them agonizing. My revenge shall be swift like the eagle and silent like the mantis.

Glad you're ok, and who knows, maybe that was a fixed point. Let's hope so @.@

Oh! OH! Fixed points in time? Do I detect a Dr. Who reference? I think I love you more than ever before little redheaded imp. (snugs) ^_~

 

[Mash]

Those big rigs need better rear view mirrors.

Anyways, glad to hear you're okay. Tell your friend to get one of those italian sports cars that fold like wet cardboard when they back into anything. 😉

 

[Lee47]

Quantum Hollywood physics also tells us that there is another universe where an alternative you is jumping from rooftop to rooftop, spin-kicking people in true Jet Li fashion. 😛

Yes, DF, but I was thinking of actual quantum mechanics in which branching probability universes exist at every possible point. If you had ever met me or know the shape I'm in, you would acknowledge there is no possible quantum universe in which I am jumping from even the lowest of rooftops. To exist, the universe has to be possible.

This theory does console me at times when my marriage is not going so well (sex-wise)- in some other quantum universes, I ended up with one or another of my ex-fiancees, or possibly with a friend who (as I learned well after we were both married) there was a possibility in my younger days (had I been a little less intimidated by her incredible hotness); and in those universes, I like to speculate, right this minute I am getting laid like a madman. 😱

Thanks all.

 

[TKLVR181]

Definitely Whovian here. Need to get back to the series.

Glad to see you're back in joking spirits, Lee47! 😀

~K

 

[Lee47]

Yes you do. It's been brilliant this year. I can't say more because, "Spoilers...."

And oh yes... River Song is definitely on my list of fictional women I want to tie me up and tickle me. She would be so good at it.