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I just lost a family member...

A

a7hgsir4h3jk

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Yesterday morning, my paternal grandfather passed away. He was in his early 80's and it is believed that he died of a heart attack. We knew he was ill, but it was expected that he'd live another two years at least. This was a very unexpected occurrence, to say the least. He was in and out of hospital a lot, but he was sent home only a few days before his death. They let him go too soon...

I know people lose family members all the time, but this is the first time I or any of my siblings have experienced the death of a loved one. We were not prepared for this at all. My dad is deeply upset by this; I have never seen him so quiet. My sisters have been crying their eyes out, and my mum and brother have also been quiet lately. I kind of feel bad for not showing so much emotion as the rest of my family.

I just have no idea what I can do. I kind of wish I had put effort into seeing him more often and spending more time with him.

I hate having to write a huge sad essay like this, but I just wanted to get it off my chest. Thanks.
 
I'm very sorry about your grandfather's passing, Smeg.

Please accept my deepest condolences and sympathies to you and your family on your loss.

In regard to what you said, about wishing you had put more effort into your relationship with your grandfather.

I can relate to those feelings.

If you've seen my posts, and read my signature, my mother, whom I was very close to, and loved more than anyone in the world, passed away almost four years ago from metastatic lung cancer, that eventually went to her brain, and took her life.

Even though I knew that my mother had been ill for more than two years before her passing, and I knew she had a brain tumor that was going to take her life, six weeks before she passed away, I was still devastated when she died.

I understand your feeling of wishing you had behaved differently toward your grandfather.

I had, and have, similar feelings about my behavior toward my mom when she was ill and dying.

Right now, your grandfather's passing feels like a terrible blow for your, and your family.

My experience with passing of a loved one, is, try to take the time to remember the good times with the person who has departed.


It will hurt, a lot.

How long it takes for someone to begin to have the pain ease after the death of a loved one is different for each person.

If you ever need to vent or chat, please feel free to PM me anytime, and I will get back to you within the day.

Take it easy,
Mitch
 
Smeg said:
I just have no idea what I can do. I kind of wish I had put effort into seeing him more often and spending more time with him.
Click to expand...

So sorry for your loss Smeg. Losing a grandparent feels like some of the magic is gone from the world. You have my sympathy.

You don't need to do anything. Just be there for the people you love and you'll all get through it together. :console:
 
Aww, Smeg... I'm so sorry to hear that... I've lost a few family members myself, so I know it isn't easy. My sincerest condolences, bud... :c
 
My condolences also Smeg. I've lost all 4 of my grandparents, as well as both parents. It's never an easy time for any involved; some get through it "better" than others. As far as you're not showing as much emotion as the rest of your family, don't worry about it - we are all different. And, in a few days, maybe weeks, suddenly it will hit you up 'side the head. But, all will be OK.... you will all get through it. Having said that, have peace with it, and help your family through these times.
 
I am very sorry for your loss. 🙁 🙁 You have my deepest sympathy. :twohugs:

After the death of my paternal grandmother, I wished that I had asked her more about her early life (which was quite eventful). You should talk with your other grandparents and get to know them better.
 
I feel lucky that I have not faced death as often as others have. But when it does happen it's never easy. I've lost my paternal grandfather, my godfather, and in a manner of speaking I've almost lost my grandmother to dementia. I feel your pain man, but we can't live in regret. We can only try and make our loved ones proud and hope the faith they had in us was not mistaken. I'm sure you already do that everyday. My condolences for you and your family on your loss.
 
Thank you for the further responses.

:twohugs:

milagros317 said:
You should talk with your other grandparents and get to know them better.
Click to expand...

Unfortunately, my mum's parents live in a different country and speak little English. I wish I could talk to them, but it's hard for us to communicate.
 
It's already been said I suppose but I'm very sorry for your loss. I've gone through it a few times myself and it's always best to focus on the time you did have together rather than the time you didn't.

I do wish you the best though. We don't really know each other but if you felt like you just needed to vent more about it, I'd be willing to help out in any way that I can.
 
Sandisk444 said:
It's already been said I suppose but I'm very sorry for your loss. I've gone through it a few times myself and it's always best to focus on the time you did have together rather than the time you didn't.

I do wish you the best though. We don't really know each other but if you felt like you just needed to vent more about it, I'd be willing to help out in any way that I can.
Click to expand...

Thank you. :pounce:
 
My condolences...as others have said, concentrate on the good times and not on what might have been. And take that lesson to heart with the rest of your family - we only have a finite amount of time on this 3rd rock from the sun.
 
Sorry for your loss,I've just been through it with my mum I know how you are feeling xxx
 
I am so sorry for your loss Smeg. I know it's not easy to lose a loved one, but just remember he's in a better place.
At least that's what I believe :console:. May he R.I.P.
 
1 CORINTHIANS 13:13 So these three things continue forever: faith,hope, and Love. And the greatest of these is Love.
 
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