I need more patience, do you?

[mch5]

When I talk to a woman online and I mention that I have a tickling fetish,
The very first ("positive") reaction is almost always "Ahaha, that's nice".
And I feel like I'm being laughed at, feeling like they think it's "cute",
And in my take on it it's very extreme and any but cute!

Don't take it wrong, I am fully aware that it's me who is inpatient, It's me who needs to accept that they don't and maybe "can't " understand.
Why do I expect them to understand this?
So I am channeling all of my inner-calm, and explain and use humor, and they laugh and it's all good.
But inside, I want to go away.

Let's say you talking (cheating) online with someone, about sex, and you got to the point you feel confident enough to talk about your fetish...
And the reaction is "lol, I like it it's funny" (or some non-negative reaction but also definitely not a serious one).
How would you react?
How would you want them to react? (in a perfect world)

Am I the only weirdo here??

 

[Red_Feather]

In my experience, the secret ingredient is confidence. Not in your interactions or in your ’game’ but in yourself, your fetishes included.

Having been a little bit unsure as a teenager, I am now 100% happy with my fetishes. I love having them, they give my life a lot of colour.

With that attitude, when I’m talking to a woman and I mention I have a tickling fetish, I have nothing riding on their response. I’m not looking for validation, I’m simply letting them know a fact about me; this is my eye colour, this is my hair colour, and this is the kinky stuff I’m into.

And honestly, it’s given me much better results overall.Do I get the ‘lol, that’s crazy/cute’ reaction sometimes? Sure, it’s an understandable first reaction! But more often than not, once said person has had a chance to get to know me, and to think on it, you watch curiosity take over and you get some variant of ‘so, the tickling thing… how does it work?’ That’s when you can bring them up to speed on the details.

 

[BlueLine7045]

Okay, so for starters, why did you mention cheating in parenthesis? Are you cheating by talking about tickling with another woman behind a partner's back? Are you implying we would cheat? Doesn't really fit in with the rest of your post.

As for the majority of the rest of your post, I think you have to ask yourself what type of response YOU'RE looking for. For me personally, any type of positive reaction to revealing a fetish to someone, especially a fetish which may not be familiar or commonplace to most average people (I intentionally didn't say "not normal" because there's nothing "not normal" about a tickle fetish. Its tickling. Tickling is normal.) is a win in my book. If a woman tells you she thinks the fact that you like tickling women is cute, to me thats a good thing. Sounds like she may be open to one day experimenting with it. Not only that, but it gives you a chance to explain it to them a little better and maybe warm them up to the idea. Much MUCH better than a response like "eww, that's so weird!" or "wow, that's strange!" or "creepy!". All responses I, myself, have gotten from women at one point or another in my younger days on online dating sites.


So my questions are this, because you didn't really give us a lot of information in your post: 1) where are you meeting/talking to these women? Online dating? Fetish sites? Non-fetish sites nor online dating? 2) How soon are you bringing tickling into the conversation and your tickling fetish? Is it early on or after you two have gotten warmed up to each other?


While I can count on one hand the number of times I have used the term "tickle fetish" in an online conversation with someone, I can tell you there were a lot of times where I brought up the fact that I like tickling and tickling other people, and the conversations immediately stopped. Ghosted, blocked, deleted, whatever. Not every single time, but quite a few times. To be fair, some of the times may have been my fault as I may have brought it up too early in the conversation (THANK GOD IM MARRIED NOW! NO MORE ONLINE DATING EVER AGAIN!!! Seriously, screw online dating!) but still. I definitely could have used more patience as well back in the day. Lost out on the chance with quite a few good women because I moved things too quickly towards flirty. Lessons learned when you're young, right? Pretty sure I have had more losses than wins with the "tickling" conversation. Granted, i'm not sure in what aspect you're talking to these women. Is it just friendly? Online dating? Etc.


Anyway, my advice is: not saying you do this, but don't bring up tickling too early in the conversation depending on how, where, and why you are talking to these women. Judging by the "cute" reactions you're getting, I am going to assume these are women not on any type of fetish sites. And also, take wins where you can get them, especially if these are women from non-fetish sites, or women that may fall into the 'vanilla' category (trying to be careful dropping that word because people get offended by it on here). If you're looking for a more intense or "very extreme" response as you said yourself above, then you're probably going to want to look for women to talk to on fetish sites such as this or that other one which everyone uses which represents a number of fetishes (the site name is escaping my memory at the moment). Honestly, I think you would be very lucky to find a woman on a non-fetish or non-tickling based website which truly appreciates or admires your fetish as much as you do and will give you the desired response to your confession. Again, don't mean to keep repeating myself, but take your wins where you can get them. "That's nice" or "that's cute" is a win in my book.

 

[mch5]

Okay, so for starters, why did you mention cheating in parenthesis? Are you cheating by talking about tickling with another woman behind a partner's back? Are you implying we would cheat? Doesn't really fit in with the rest of your post.

As for the majority of the rest of your post, I think you have to ask yourself what type of response YOU'RE looking for. For me personally, any type of positive reaction to revealing a fetish to someone, especially a fetish which may not be familiar or commonplace to most average people (I intentionally didn't say "not normal" because there's nothing "not normal" about a tickle fetish. Its tickling. Tickling is normal.) is a win in my book. If a woman tells you she thinks the fact that you like tickling women is cute, to me thats a good thing. Sounds like she may be open to one day experimenting with it. Not only that, but it gives you a chance to explain it to them a little better and maybe warm them up to the idea. Much MUCH better than a response like "eww, that's so weird!" or "wow, that's strange!" or "creepy!". All responses I, myself, have gotten from women at one point or another in my younger days on online dating sites.


So my questions are this, because you didn't really give us a lot of information in your post: 1) where are you meeting/talking to these women? Online dating? Fetish sites? Non-fetish sites nor online dating? 2) How soon are you bringing tickling into the conversation and your tickling fetish? Is it early on or after you two have gotten warmed up to each other?


While I can count on one hand the number of times I have used the term "tickle fetish" in an online conversation with someone, I can tell you there were a lot of times where I brought up the fact that I like tickling and tickling other people, and the conversations immediately stopped. Ghosted, blocked, deleted, whatever. Not every single time, but quite a few times. To be fair, some of the times may have been my fault as I may have brought it up too early in the conversation (THANK GOD IM MARRIED NOW! NO MORE ONLINE DATING EVER AGAIN!!! Seriously, screw online dating!) but still. I definitely could have used more patience as well back in the day. Lost out on the chance with quite a few good women because I moved things too quickly towards flirty. Lessons learned when you're young, right? Pretty sure I have had more losses than wins with the "tickling" conversation. Granted, i'm not sure in what aspect you're talking to these women. Is it just friendly? Online dating? Etc.


Anyway, my advice is: not saying you do this, but don't bring up tickling too early in the conversation depending on how, where, and why you are talking to these women. Judging by the "cute" reactions you're getting, I am going to assume these are women not on any type of fetish sites. And also, take wins where you can get them, especially if these are women from non-fetish sites, or women that may fall into the 'vanilla' category (trying to be careful dropping that word because people get offended by it on here). If you're looking for a more intense or "very extreme" response as you said yourself above, then you're probably going to want to look for women to talk to on fetish sites such as this or that other one which everyone uses which represents a number of fetishes (the site name is escaping my memory at the moment). Honestly, I think you would be very lucky to find a woman on a non-fetish or non-tickling based website which truly appreciates or admires your fetish as much as you do and will give you the desired response to your confession. Again, don't mean to keep repeating myself, but take your wins where you can get them. "That's nice" or "that's cute" is a win in my book.

Oh no, sorry, that word was supposed to be "Chatting" and not "Cheating", since I am talking about online communication. I have no idea how the hell I missed that spelling mistake, sorry.

The setting is always some sex related sites, true that only tiny few of those are fetish related since I don't know many of those, plus I am a bit afraid of seeing things I don't wish to see. Sounds stupid, I know.

But I truly just seeking textual communications with the option to go deep/dark and with intimate mindset since it's very sexual for me, yet never to leave cyberspace.

Yes, I'm sorry to admit that I got to disappoint quite a few who expected more physical/real-life outcomes, but that is something I try hard to avoid and explain at the beginning.
So, I know what I want, I just feel sometimes that I am being laughed at.

 

[Tickaler]

Oh no, sorry, that word was supposed to be "Chatting" and not "Cheating", since I am talking about online communication. I have no idea how the hell I missed that spelling mistake, sorry.

The setting is always some sex related sites, true that only tiny few of those are fetish related since I don't know many of those, plus I am a bit afraid of seeing things I don't wish to see. Sounds stupid, I know.

But I truly just seeking textual communications with the option to go deep/dark and with intimate mindset since it's very sexual for me, yet never to leave cyberspace.

Yes, I'm sorry to admit that I got to disappoint quite a few who expected more physical/real-life outcomes, but that is something I try hard to avoid and explain at the beginning.
So, I know what I want, I just feel sometimes that I am being laughed at.

My first question to your original post, would have been, "What's the context of your online communication? Dating apps or just chatting that never goes offline and into the real world."

But since you're just looking for online chatting with no IRL meeting, I have a simple solution for you: why the f**k do you even care what the other person thinks? 🙂

Say whatever you like, if they don't like it, or laugh at you, don't get upset, just move on to the next one. And the type of chatting you're talking about, never take it personally.

Note: Some of this stuff also applies to dating apps and meeting people offline. Don't take people's reactions personally. If they don't fit or align with your interests, don't waste your time. Move on to the next.