I think I've lost my mind.....

[Helena]

THE SENILITY PRAYER
God grant me the senility to forget the people I
never liked anyway,
the good fortune to run into the ones that I do,
and the eyesight to tell the difference.

Now that I'm 'older' (but refuse to grow up),
here's what I've discovered:

I started out with nothing, and I still have most of it.

I finally got my head together; now my body is falling apart.

Funny, I don't remember being absent minded...

All reports are in; life is now officially unfair. If all is not lost, where is it?

It is easier to get older than it is to get wiser.

Some days you're the dog; some days you're the hydrant.

I wish the buck stopped here; I sure could use a few...

Kids in the back seat cause accidents. Accidents in the back seat cause kids.

It's not hard to meet expenses... they're everywhere.

The only difference between a rut and a grave is the depth.

 

[Slappy McGee]

hooray!!!!

 

[ForgottenTcklr]

That one about kids in the backseat is probably the funniest joke I've heard all day.

 

[QBWeaver]

I have a different version of Helena's prayer.

God Grant me the Serenity to accept the things I cannot change.
Courage to change the things I can
And the wisdom to hide the bodies of the people I had to kill because they PISSED ME OFF!

*****************

Of all the things I've lost, I miss my mind the most.

****************

And... The only two good things about having Altzeimer's disease...

1.) You get to meet new friends ALL THE TIME!
and
2.) You get to hide your own Easter Eggs.