i was drive by'd today

[drkjedi458]

im very fortunate im here to tell this story. its not safe to walk down the street anymore. there i was walking to the corner for a pack of cigarettes. i had noticed how the grand am coming towards me was moving suspiciously slow...then when it was about 20 feet from me it sped up. thats when it happened. i was suddenly hit upside the head by a loaf of bread. i was to dazed to get the license plate number. ok actually i was to shocked at having been assaulted with a loaf of wonder bread to think of it. if that loaf had been stale or if they had bought those dinner rolls that are always rock hard i might be knocking on the pearly gates right now. to those of you reading this i say to you keep your eyes open...this may become a dangerous and disturbing trend. i was lucky. some other poor soul might not be so fortunate next time. i urge you to call your state representatives and ask them to take immediate action by forcing all bakeries and grocery stores to do background checks and fingerprinting on every loaf of bread and register every roll or muffin sold.
🙄

 

[Krokus]

Whoa

Im sorry that happened to you.....I think everyone should be on guard for killer bread.....damn those Iron Kids.....

 

[guitman69]

I think the Pilsbury Dough Boy is behind all this!!! DAMN HIS YEASTY OFF WHITE HIDE!!!

 

[drkjedi458]

actually i suspect peter pan. due to my habit of eating peanut butter directly from the jar iv recieved several threatening letters from him demanding that i use bread and jelly or else...this was obviously a wake up call...i better watch out for flying smuckers jars next. fortunatly im ready for the tights wearin bastard (rolls out the anti aircraft) since it came from a car instead of the air im assuming captain hooks doing his dirty work for him...im ready for him to (whips out pirate sword)

 

[Strelnikov]

It's like your mama told you - that's what can happen to you when you loaf on street corners.

Strelnikov

 

[Ayla ny]

this bread thing really did happen? oh my God... lol! life is just plain weird sometimes. hey! maybe you'll end up with some kind of super powers! I mean, it was wonder bread...

 

[drkjedi458]

yup...it really happened. just goes to show you some people just aint got nothin better to do. could be worse at least they didnt start shooting at me which was what i thought was gonna happen there for a second

 

[Strelnikov]

80 Mile Per Hour Pumpkin

The 80 mph pumpkin is a rural favorite. The idea is for the passenger in the shotgun seat to toss the pumpkin out the window just as the car passes a mail box. A direct hit will demolish the mail box and sometimes uproot the post too.

It's not normally deployed against people. But you're right - it could have gone LOTS worse for you than being smacked with a loaf of bread.

Strelnikov

 

[guitman69]

My 'live sound' instructor told us this story that happened to him. He was riding on a tour bus (I can't remember who he said he was working for). They were going down a deserted country road, when a pickup truck comes up behind them. Then it passes them like a shot. The truck then turned around and came speeding back the other way. When they were a dozen or so yards away from the bus, they threw a grapefruit at the bus. It went through the windshield, and all the way to the back of the bus where it destroyed a television set. Luckily no one was hurt.

 

[Oddjob0226]

Well, you shouldn'ta otta smoke!

 

[omega]

Remember what Jesus said, "Man shall not live on bread alone . . . he must have peanut butter on it."

Well, alright, that is the omega paraphrase of the Bible.

 

[Strelnikov]

Sermon on the Mount

I just loafs and fishes...

Strelnikov