If you woke up one morning and your penis was gone

[tickleteasing]

The reason I am asking this question is I saw this in a movie once where these men were waking up to find there genitalia removed. I was wondering how you men would handle it if you woke up and saw your penis was gone? Now to make it more interesting lets say you see a note next to your bed that reads:
" We want 100 thousand dollars dropped at the trash can on this particular street if you ever want to see it again. If you fail to comply you will recieve it back in pieces." You are given exactly one week to comply. Would you
A. Comply with the demands
B. Go to the cops
C. Call the FBI
If you are a woman reading this so you do not feel left out answer the question from the perspective of how you would handle having a frantic man with a missing penis next to you in your bed in the morning.
--
Then the next day you hear a loud knock on the door and you open it and outside in front of you is an envelope with a video tape in it. You watch the video tape and in it is a bunch of guys playing badminton using your penis and there all wearing ski masks.

 

[melissa]

You may find this hard (no opun intended!!) to believe, but this actually happened to me!

 

[chrisheaven]

What????????????????

 

[Ignatz]

If I found my penis missing some morning, the first thing I'd do is hire a private dick.

 

[amk714]

If I woke up one morning and my penis was gone, I'd get a bigger one. 😛

 

[chrisheaven]

I'm gonna check NOW!!!!! 😎

 

[suikoden]

You guys need a song called Detachable Penis by King Missile:

I woke up this morning with a bad hangover
And my penis was missing again
This happens all the time
It's detachable
This comes in handy a lot of the time
I can leave it home when I think it's going to get me in trouble
Or I can rent it out when I don't need it

But now and then I go to a party
Get drunk
And the next morning I can't for the life of me
Remember what I did with it
First I looked around my apartment
And I couldn't find it
So I called up the place where the party was
They hadn't seen it either
I asked them to check the medicine cabinet
'Cause for some reason I leave it there sometimes
But not this time
So I told them if it pops up to let me know.

I called a few people who were at the party
But they were no help either
I was starting to get desperate
I really don't like being without my penis for too long
It makes me feel like less of a man
And I really hate to have to sit down every time I take a leak

After a few hours of searching the house
And calling everyone I could think of
I was starting to get very depressed
So I went to the Kiev and ate breakfast.
Then as I walked down Second Avenue toward St. Mark's Place
Where all those people sell used books and other junk on the street
I saw my penis lying on a blanket next to a broken toaster oven
Some guy was selling it
I had to buy it off him
He wanted 22 bucks but I talked him down to 17
I took it home
Washed it off
And put it back on
I was happy again
Complete
People sometimes tell me I should get it permanently attached
But I don't know
Even though sometimes it's a pain in the ass
I like having a detachable penis

 

[tcklishredhed04]

Lol

I am so glad that when I am done with school making 90 year old women's hair look like a poodles that I can come to this web site and laugh my ass off at you funny funny people. I thank all of you for my sanity. But yeah, that would really suck. If your penis was gone. I lost my vibrator once and I was upset. But it's ok, we found each other

 

[ShiningIce]

My Frost Cannon will indeed sometimes melt in the summer 🙁 However it always comes back in the winter 🙂

 

[amk714]

But yeah, that would really suck. If your penis was gone. I lost my vibrator once and I was upset. But it's ok, we found each other

Talk about an understatement! "But yeah, that would really suck?" 😛

BTW, I'm glad you found your vibrator.

 

[suikoden]

To tcklishredhed04

"Does this look like a Q to you? How about now?" 😀

 

[amk714]

Oh, I almost forgot: When I woke up this morning, my penis was still between my legs. 😛 And thanks for the lyrics, Suikoden. That's a funny song! 😀

 

[CaptainQuantum]

I think someone should email John Wayne Bobbit and send him this thread.

 

[Jason Reborn]

I think someone should email John Wayne Bobbit and send him this thread.

LOL! I thought the story of John Wayne Bobbit was fictional. That it was just a story to tell to make guys think twice about cheating on their loved ones...