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In The Navy

luv2bt&tickled

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As a midshipman I was assigned to a cruiser one summer. There was a boatswain's mate, happened to be black, named Johnny Johnson in the first division and he stood watches in-port on the quarterdeck and on the bridge at sea. Some of his announcements on the 1MC (general announcement PA system) were classics ---

In port, tied up to a pier in New York City:

"Now sweepahs sweepahs start your brooms. Sweep down all lower decks, ladders, and passageways. Empty all shit cans ovah da fantail."

A very pregnant pause

"Delay dat word on shit cans, empty all shit cans on da pier!"

Another pause, now he's obviously reading something written by the OOD.

"Delay dat word on shit cans, empty all trash _receptacles_ into the _containers_ provided on the pier."

This was a different day but he was piping "general visiting"

"Now all hands rig for genrahl visitin! All hands is reminded to watch der language, we got **** aboard."
:wow:
 
LOL! :jester: The PA system on ship gets on my nerves! It's funny listening to these people have to relay whole messages all over again, because they didn't say it properly the first time.
 
The announcement about watching the language is hilarious. 😀

P.S. I didn't know you were in the Navy, Tracy! J/K, lol. 😛
 
Ahhh... that brings back memories of my days in Uncle Sam's Canoe Club! I spent my first year working as a "deck ape" for a boson just like Johnson, except a bit more articulate.

BTW the correct phrase begins, "Swee-pas swee-pas (sweepers) man your brooms... make a clean sweep-down fore and aft. Sweep down all decks, ladderways and passages..."


Ok, here's a bit of nautical humor:

This is (supposedly) the transcript of the ACTUAL radio conversation of a US naval ship with Canadian authorities off the coast of Newfoundland in October 1995.

Canadians: Please divert your course 15 degrees the South to avoid a collision.

Americans: Recommend you divert your course 15 degrees the North to avoid a collision.

Canadians: Negative. You will have to divert your course 15 degrees to the South to avoid a collision.

Americans: This is the Captain of a US Navy ship. I say again, divert YOUR course.

Canadians: No. I say again, you divert YOUR course.

Americans: THIS IS THE AIRCRAFT CARRIER USS LINCOLN, THE SECOND LARGEST SHIP IN THE UNITED STATES' ATLANTIC FLEET. WE ARE ACCOMPANIED BY THREE DESTROYERS, THREE CRUISERS AND NUMEROUS SUPPORT VESSELS. I DEMAND THAT YOU CHANGE YOUR COURSE 15 DEGREES NORTH, I SAY AGAIN, THAT'S ONE FIVE DEGREES NORTH, OR COUNTER-MEASURES WILL BE UNDERTAKEN TO ENSURE THE SAFETY OF THIS SHIP.

Canadians: This is a lighthouse. Your call!
 
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