Thoughts for the day.
1. Do not walk behind me, for I may not lead. Do not
walk ahead of me, for I may not follow. Do not walk
beside me, either. Just leave me the hell alone.
2. The journey of a thousand miles begins with a
broken fan belt and a leaky tire.
3. It's always darkest before dawn. So if you're going to
steal your neighbor's newspaper, that's the time to do it.
4. Sex is like air. It's not important unless you
aren't getting any.
5. Don't be irreplaceable. If you can't be replaced,
you can't be promoted.
6. No one is listening until you fart.
7. Always remember you're unique. Just like everyone else.
8. Never test the depth of the water with both feet.
9. It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to
serve as a warning to others.
10. It is far more impressive when others discover your
good qualities without your help.
11. If you think nobody cares if you're alive, try
missing a couple of car payments.
12. Before you criticize someone, you should walk a
mile in their shoes.That way, when you criticize them,
you're a mile away and you have their shoes.
13. If at first you don't succeed, skydiving is not
for you.
14. Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day. Teach
him how to fish, and he will sit in a boat and drink
beer all day.
15. If you lend someone a 20, and never see that person
again, it was probably worth it.
16. Don't squat with your spurs on.
17. If you tell the truth, you don't have to remember
anything.
18. If you drink, don't park accidents cause people.
19. Some days you are the bug, some days you are the
windshield.
20. Don't worry, it only seems kinky the first time.
21. Good judgment comes from bad experience, and a lot
of that comes from bad judgment.
22. The quickest way to double your money is to fold
it in half and put it back in your pocket.
23. Timing has an awful lot to do with the outcome of
a rain dance.
24. A closed mouth gathers no foot.
25. Duct tape is like the Force. It has a light side and
a dark side, and it holds the universe together.
26. There are two theories to arguing with women.
Neither one works.
27. Generally speaking, you aren't learning much when
your mouth is moving.
28. Experience is something you don't get until just
after you need it.
29. Never miss a good chance to shut up.
30. We are born naked, wet, and hungry. Then things
get worse.
1. Do not walk behind me, for I may not lead. Do not
walk ahead of me, for I may not follow. Do not walk
beside me, either. Just leave me the hell alone.
2. The journey of a thousand miles begins with a
broken fan belt and a leaky tire.
3. It's always darkest before dawn. So if you're going to
steal your neighbor's newspaper, that's the time to do it.
4. Sex is like air. It's not important unless you
aren't getting any.
5. Don't be irreplaceable. If you can't be replaced,
you can't be promoted.
6. No one is listening until you fart.
7. Always remember you're unique. Just like everyone else.
8. Never test the depth of the water with both feet.
9. It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to
serve as a warning to others.
10. It is far more impressive when others discover your
good qualities without your help.
11. If you think nobody cares if you're alive, try
missing a couple of car payments.
12. Before you criticize someone, you should walk a
mile in their shoes.That way, when you criticize them,
you're a mile away and you have their shoes.
13. If at first you don't succeed, skydiving is not
for you.
14. Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day. Teach
him how to fish, and he will sit in a boat and drink
beer all day.
15. If you lend someone a 20, and never see that person
again, it was probably worth it.
16. Don't squat with your spurs on.
17. If you tell the truth, you don't have to remember
anything.
18. If you drink, don't park accidents cause people.
19. Some days you are the bug, some days you are the
windshield.
20. Don't worry, it only seems kinky the first time.
21. Good judgment comes from bad experience, and a lot
of that comes from bad judgment.
22. The quickest way to double your money is to fold
it in half and put it back in your pocket.
23. Timing has an awful lot to do with the outcome of
a rain dance.
24. A closed mouth gathers no foot.
25. Duct tape is like the Force. It has a light side and
a dark side, and it holds the universe together.
26. There are two theories to arguing with women.
Neither one works.
27. Generally speaking, you aren't learning much when
your mouth is moving.
28. Experience is something you don't get until just
after you need it.
29. Never miss a good chance to shut up.
30. We are born naked, wet, and hungry. Then things
get worse.
