Is my friends fear/annoyance irrational?

[Konakona]

My friend is afraid of being kicked in his...private l (i dont even like that word...) he told me what it felt like and from what i can gather its just like being kicked pretty hard in the waist. He says it scares him because he was bullied with that as a kid. He goes on about how he gets pissed off that the media finds this pain so funny toward a man but not a woman.
He also gets pissed whenever he and i are watching a horror movie and a man gets castrated.
I dont find any of this funny, and i can see why he takes so much offense in it, but i really wanna help him get over this.

 

[MrTicklefeet1]

Well, it's not irrational to him, it's a very serious issue. For starters, maybe stop watching horror movies together where the villain gets sadisitical pleasure out of hurting and torturing people. That's surely not helping.
I had a friend who stayed with my brother for a few weeks while her apartment was being worked on. My brother has an anti women attitude towards women who won't have sex with him or turn all their power over to him. She didn't know this up front as he likes to use his charm in painting himself as a nice guy to lure women to him.
During conversations one night, he directly asked her what bothered her the most, a red flag question, and she said violence against women having been the victim of a violent assault herself. A few days later, he started renting violence against women videos, and inviting her to watch them with him without telling her up front what it was about. First one was three guys abducting a lone woman and repeatedly slapping her face.
So him staying away from violent movies would be a good start. He's only going to witness more violence that will keep pushing his buttons.

 

[Konakona]

We enjoy watching horror movies together, and its hard to tell which movies to keep away from, and how do i help him deal with his fear of being hit himself?

 

[MrTicklefeet1]

If he enjoys the violent images, he's just going to have to keep putting up with it. It's going to keep feeding that fear.

 

[Konakona]

I have him with me, should i get him to explain how he feels? Its hard for me because i dont have this fear...

 

[MrTicklefeet1]

Maybe he needs to see a counselor. It sounds like he's going to need help with this. Posting on here isn't going to do anyting helpful. Good luck with it.

 

[Konakona]

Your right. And thank you for trying to help him.

 

[Mash]

To be fair, I think most guys cringe a bit when they visualize getting kicked in the junk.

Even if you've never gotten actually attacked there, every guy alive has hurt themselves there one way or another, and it fuckin' hurts.

That being said, I still find media of a guy getting hit there in a humorous context to be hilarious. Castration is an altogether different issue, though. I don't really blame him for that.

 

[Konakona]

I have been hit in my ovaries before, and that seems to have a similar (if not exactly the same) effect...and i guess if it was mainstream i would feel the same. And even i find castration horrid.

 

[Nomming]

Frankly this sounds like not much a fear so much as it is a general distaste of the thought. Granted if he get's livid over the viewing of a castration or a kick in the groin, I suppose that's a wee bit over-sensational. I think the best thing to do is to stray clear of the whole topic. 'Cause this is one of those situations where it's like, how the heck can you help?

Talk to him for a good while then help him get over it by kicking him the groin over and over? Hey it's you so he'll get over it eventually right?

I'm terrible for that joke.>.> Either way. A good way to explain a kick to the groin: A man's testicles are one of the most sensitive parts of our anatomy, and the easiest to hurt. Any sort of major impacting force colliding with them pretty much feels like a headache, in our groin area, a very painful, alcohol induced headache. But it also knocks the wind out of us, and the lingering pain is also one of the worst. I'm sorry he got bullied with that as a kid. That had to really hurt.

I think the best way to go about this is to just be attentive, and try to avoid the topic or movies that have such.

 

[Regal]

My advice is to find a new friend, one who isn't a pansy.

 

[Nomming]

Ouch.

 

[TheTickleMonster]

I don't think there's anything you can do... And it is definitely NOT irrational. It's a perfectly understandable fear... and most guys don't like seeing a guys nuts getting hurt in any way. I cringe when I see them get hit... and I can not watch them get cut off.. I have to close my eyes and I feel in pain whenever I see something happening to them. It's just something he'll have to deal with. It's very painful when something happens to them. And I'm sure every guy has been hit there multiple times in their life and so we all know how painful it can be...

 

[MaxDragon]

I used to have a fear of being tortured. I have read about the horrible things that people can to other people to inflict agonizing pain. I was so terrified that I tried to come up with a way to kill myself, like with a poison tooth or something, if it ever happened. I confessed this fear to a friend of mine and he said "You are way too smart to let yourself get into that situation." He was right. There is no one out to 'get' me, to kidnap and torture me. So my point is, if your friend doesn't behave like an asshole, then no one is going to want to kick him in the nuts.

 

[WriterOfSin]

Unless this is completely crippling for your friend in a mental sense, then he's just being overanxious. As for the fear of groin-kicks, I was told once there's one way to put down someone of either gender in a fight with a single blow, and that's with a kick to the groin, so it's a valid fear I guess. As others have said, that's one of the most sensitive parts of the body for both genders.

As for the castration, perhaps he should try not thinking about it too much? I don't like snakes, so I avoid thinking about them (in the sense of visualising them in my head. Writing about them isn't a problem)

Of course if your friend is massively freaked out by this to a serious degree, I advise professional medical help.

 

[Konakona]

My advice is to find a new friend, one who isn't a pansy.

He's not.
But i do think he needs medical help (a lobotomy maybe?) I told him that a hard kick in the waist hurts similarly (if not the same) but im not sure about it...and it made him feel less vulnerable as a guy...so maybe its just the trauma and the sense of being vulnerable.
So how do i help him feel less vulnerable?

 

[atreyu1]

Nope nothing irrational there. That shit hurts. And not only is there the pain but the nausea that goes along with it. There is nothing fun about being mocked in the gonads

 

[Nomming]

The best thing you can do is just be there for'em and listen to him when he wants to talk.

 

[TheTickleMonster]

My advice is to find a new friend, one who isn't a pansy.

He's not.
But i do think he needs medical help (a lobotomy maybe?) I told him that a hard kick in the waist hurts similarly (if not the same) but im not sure about it...and it made him feel less vulnerable as a guy...so maybe its just the trauma and the sense of being vulnerable.
So how do i help him feel less vulnerable?

I'm going to give you better advice. Don't listen to Xephidel. He seems liker a jerk and posts on threads just to cause trouble. And I do not think that getting hit in the waist hurts as bad as getting hit in the nuts.

 

[Konakona]

I'm going to give you better advice. Don't listen to Xephidel. He seems liker a jerk and posts on threads just to cause trouble. And I do not think that getting hit in the waist hurts as bad as getting hit in the nuts.

I figured as much about him, and you also dont have ovaries there...

Edit: so my question comes down to, does being hit in the ovaries hurt like that of a balls kick?

 

[RangerLoki]

Some people are sensitive to the idea. I've got friends that can't even think about getting poked in the eye.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_detailpage&v=0rfJlonxB4Q#t=102s

 

[Regal]

I'm going to give you better advice. Don't listen to Xephidel. He seems liker a jerk and posts on threads just to cause trouble. And I do not think that getting hit in the waist hurts as bad as getting hit in the nuts.

I gave legitimate, sound advice. Her friend honestly sounds like a wuss. I'm a guy and I don't cringe at the thought of castration or being struck in the groin.

 

[TheTickleMonster]

I figured as much about him, and you also dont have ovaries there...

Edit: so my question comes down to, does being hit in the ovaries hurt like that of a balls kick?

Well... I understand where you're coming from... but I think maybe a better comparison for pain is probably getting hit in the breasts, not the waist...

 

[Mash]

Since everyone gauges pain differently, and since one gender can't experience both gender-specific sensations, then we simply can't know without going into a laboratory and have our brains monitored to see how we register the pain.

However, I'd still wager that the only sensation a woman can experience (without going into something unnecessarily cruel) that would be more painful than a kick to the crotch on a guy would be childbirth.