Is my situation unique?

[kopfhorer1]

I’m not entirely sure that this is the right place for this discussion. If it’s not, please accept my apologies.

As I pointed out in another thread, I ended a relationship a short while back. I went through the usual break-up stuff, the crying, the sadness, the overeating, the MST3K viewing marathons, etc. Though I’m not sure I’m completely over her yet, I’m working on remixing my life.

When I met my last girlfriend, I’d been a loner for many years. My shyness was at life-threatening levels. My self-esteem was lower than Lehman Brothers’ stock value. While I’ve got a ways to go yet, I’m not that same person. I get out more. I got to shows if there are any happening. I do things with what friends I do have as often as possible (which isn't that often). I get involved in local politics. I talk to people I meet in public, if it’s appropriate for me to do so. My phone still seldom rings unless it's a telemarketer, and I do still have problems with shyness and residual lonerism, but at least I'm moving forward, however slowly.

I know better than to repeat the mistake of thinking that a new girlfriend will save me from loneliness or make me whole, and I still miss badly some of the obvious perks of being part of a couple. I’m also not totally down with doing things on my own like traveling. I know that I need to become more independent and maybe this voyage through rough waters is the only way that’s going to happen.

I guess what I need most at this point are more friends. I know it takes time and dedication. I feel kind of like a driver-ed student who’s just gotten his learner’s permit and is sitting down behind the wheel of a race car at the starting line at Indianapolis. Has anyone else here been in a situation like this? If so, can you offer any advice to me?

 

[ILove2Tickle1]

I've been there, done that, bought the t-shirt. All except for the politics part. Unfortunately, I don't have any sage advice, because I'm STILL there.

 

[Mr.Teehehe]

kopfhorer,

I been there also and I STILL am there right now in your same boat. While i have friends in this little small town that i live in,in Oregon. And while me and my small group of great friends have fun and get out every once and awhile when we can and go see a movie at the theaters or play billards pool etc

I'm still not a type of person that's going to be the life of any partys and be wild and crazy partly because that's just not my personalty and how i am i'm not going to go up too a large group of people and just start talking there legs off non-stop and become a chatter box.

I have some what of a stuttering problem. So i'm about in the same boat as you are the only thing right now that i have going for me is a loving and real supportive group of family members that i cherish and both my loving and supportive parents who i love dearly.

So my struggles in life are a big list i've seen much pain and many crying tears shed down my face.

I want to get out there and be more freedom and independent as well and be more open about things my passion's.

I finally got my drivers license a few months ago like 3 months ago now i think it has been and i'm 24 years old it took me 8 trys to pass my permit test and only took me two trys to pass the behind the wheel test for the drivers license. So even with me it takes many struggles for me to over come things and i'm still struggling. But i over come things and i always am a better overall person for it every time that i do.

Am i where i want to be in life?

No i'm not. But will i get there in life with where i wanna be at? you bet i will. I will move out and get my own Apartment and be on my own and starting driving (as soon as the car insurance gets paid for).

And start having that real freedom indepence that my best friends from high school have the ones that are moved out on there own and not still living with family or parents.

Out of my group of friends only me and my best friend Greg (he's 24 years old) and Curtis (he's 26 years old going to be 27 years old in October) only me and Greg and Curtis are still living with family until we can get out on our own and move.

With having said all of that and with me ranting on a bit.

I'm standing and still breathing even with all of my struggles that i faced when i was little growing up and i still am having hard times now with struggles. But i don't let any of that knock me down and take away anything i get back up and keep getting back up off of the floor and brushing myself off no matter how many times i fall down in life and life knocks me out.

Life is hard Life is never easy Life sometimes seems so grey and with no shades of color. But don't ever let life defeat you.

So i'm in your shoes also with my Relationship as well. Thinking that my last girlfriend was the one after 2 years. With all of the struggles and shyness and sad lonely times that i have after all of that. I am still alive and still breathing and still fighting and still pushing through it to see another day another bright sunny day.

If you want to talk by e-mail or TickleTheater then you can :]

 

[Freak_O_Nature1]

Wow, why does it seem to be the same all around. I got the need space story and I agreed, so we're still friends, and then again maybe more... I don't know yet. But it seems Cupid is on vacation this summer. I always hated him, damn baby in a diaper flying around shooting people.

 

[Bashiku]

Breaking up is a part of life also... you get together, have fun, break up and move on. It is a part of a cycle and just like life and death there is no reason to be sad. You gave something up to get something new, some new experience that will shape you even further... continue on

 

[Mr.Teehehe]

And also on that note that Bashiku said not to take anything from kopfhorer thread but when a break up in a Relationship does happen and accure your then to at least able to pursue other things in your own life and find yourself and find you along the way and Tickle many many others and look at the feet of many many many others etc

(And by saying that) i hope that i'm not making light of Relationship's or Break up's but by saying that at least that's what us Tickling lovers and Foot lovers have that to look forward to being on the single life even with as hard as break ups are and can be with the up's and down's

 

[QueenBeeBeeMari]

don't worry it will be over soon and you will come out of this alive.The worst is over now and your almost through it.

 

[FeatherDaemon1]

We have all been in this situation. My advice to you is don't feel conflicted about having feelings for your Ex. She was a part of your life and you did have good times. Hold onto to those memories, don't throw them away. Yet, you must remember that there is a reason why you aren't together. Especially if you had a part in enforcing the split. It had to happen.

Now being alone, use his time to get all your shit together. Tie up all the loose ends. If you were sacrificing things to be with your girl go out and do those things. Spend some extra time at your job if you think that you have a chance for a promotion or maybe you want a better job use this time for it. Do all those house / apartment repairs you've been putting off, pimp up your pad. So that way if you find a girl that you are willing to sacrifice time for again then you are in a better position to do it.

Don't ever give up. Females are like 52% of the population. They are out there. Good luck.

 

[kopfhorer1]

Thank you all for replying, and for reminding me that that I'm not the only one who has been/is now in my situation. I often get so self-absorbed and focused on what I now don't have that I often forget what I do have (including some fine people to talk to here on these boards).

And yes, it's tough to remember that we broke up for a reason(s). Being alone after a relationship sometimes feels to me kind of like wearing a jacket that's just a half-size too small. (Jeez, there I go pining after my ex again!)

 

[Bashiku]

don't worry it will be over soon and you will come out of this alive.The worst is over now and your almost through it.

That same line was said by my lunatic dentist who tried to drill my jaw...

 

[kopfhorer1]

don't worry it will be over soon and you will come out of this alive.The worst is over now and your almost through it.

That same line was said by my lunatic dentist who tried to drill my jaw...

There's a message in all that...🙂

 

[Bashiku]

Brush your teeth after meal that is for sure...

 

[kopfhorer1]

Brush your teeth after meal that is for sure...

Word up!

 

[melanie2]

hon you do have a friend...shoot me a pm anytime you wish...i haven't been there but i am a good listener...but i do know what it's like to feel lonely..i'm a loner myself basically...

i'll think good thoughts for you..

 

[Nekagiggles]

Just stick to it. I'm currently going through a lot of self-esteem issues, and issues of becoming independant. The two combined put a lot of wear-and-tear on your body physically, as well as mentally and emotionally. Continue trying to become more independent and outgoing. Continue to try and make new friends and putting trust in them. Things might get worse or harder, but everything eventually gets better.

 

[kopfhorer1]

Just stick to it. I'm currently going through a lot of self-esteem issues, and issues of becoming independant. The two combined put a lot of wear-and-tear on your body physically, as well as mentally and emotionally. Continue trying to become more independent and outgoing. Continue to try and make new friends and putting trust in them. Things might get worse or harder, but everything eventually gets better.

Well, I certainly hope that it does.

And I wish you my best in dealing with your own struggles. I know from firsthand experience how tough self-esteem issues can be to deal with. If you don't mind my asking, what kinds of issues do you mean (if you do mind, that's OK too). And when you say becoming independent, do you mean from you family or from the need for a partner?

And BTW, welcome to TickleTheater.