Is There a Point When Its Gone Too Far?

[The_Crusader]

So, first off let me start by saying that this may or may not turn into a rant of epic proportions. Thou hast been warn-ed.

Now then, to business. So, I have several friends, who are constantly coming to me with their problems. I have no issue being there for my friends but this is getting ridiculous. One friend in particular is butting heads with her boyfriend every other damned day, and then comes to me to ask what to do! How should I know?! I am not Dr. Phil people! I do not have nearly as little hair or as awesome a moustache as him. Its like, look, I can only do so much. Another friend, comes to me for advice...Never takes my advice, and then wonders what went wrong. Now I apologise if I'm coming off egotistical here, but I regard myself as an intelligent human being able to see these things from an objective perspective, but I feel I must be a bit selfish towards my friends at this point because I am at the end of my rope with this ridiculous banter! I personally do not see the point in asking a trusted comrade for advice if I don't intend to take it or at the very least, ATTEMPT their idea. But to do the exact opposite? Come on. Now I don't fancy that I can, or have any right to, make choices for people, it just irritates me that A) they don't really listen anyway and B) don't think about how all this stress makes ME feel. I don't get paid NEARLY enough to be everybodys therapist.

My question to you, dear friends, obvious though the answer may be is; What in God's good name do I do? tell 'em to bugger off and take myself a vacation? or keep going crazy?

 

[TKLVR181]

Don't do either--take a break for yourself. Take a day to spend AWAY from these people. Or more. I know how you feel man, I have the same problem. And I know it'll feel bad to tell them you're not available for the day, but remember this--you can't help them if you don't take care of yourself first.

~K

 

[ThePrescientOne]

stop listening until they start listening.

simple.

 

[Cbarton]

Tell them they have to do one of two things

(1) Grow up and use the brains the good Lord gave them

or

(2) Stop asking for your advice if they are not going to follow it. If they want the Oprah/Phil to whine at, tell them to find another unless they choose to follow the advice you already give them.

911 is not a direct line to your house for them. You are not Yente, not Abigal Van Buren (Dear Abby), not their mama. If they can't handle that, then they weren't your friendsd to begin with.

 

[Duke Diablo]

Very good points from people above. They have wisdom to rival the greatest village elder.

Now as to your problem, I had the same one. So here is how I resolved it:

1) I told them that it's up to THEM to solve it, not ask me for answers. They know their problems better than I do, and it's THEIR problem to begin with.

2) If you simply MUST tell them something, tell them what you think, and if they say it's not good enough, then tell them it was your advice and your final word. They can listen to it or not.

 

[HOLLYWOOD]

the hollywood brother say to not pay attention to it and just nod your head or give them a i understnad or a yes once i na while so they feel heard and cared for

 

[morgandee]

you can't tell people to grow up, you get banned for that

i would know because i told mitchell of tmf that several times

 

[Dark_Avenger]

I suppose you should just leave them be unless they start listening, and start helping you out yourself 🙂

 

[The_Crusader]

Its all fairly sound advice to me. Of course the fun and ironic part is that when i DO tell them "look, this is out of my hands" I become the worlds most uncaring jerk. Ya know? I think I may just take several days for myself. I have Models to paint anyway...

 

[Dark_Avenger]

Its all fairly sound advice to me. Of course the fun and ironic part is that when i DO tell them "look, this is out of my hands" I become the worlds most uncaring jerk. Ya know? I think I may just take several days for myself. I have Models to paint anyway...

Sounds good, Good luck with the painting :super_hap I'm sure you'll do great!