Joke - What motivates an Arab terrorist?

[sole seeker1]

International Joke Thread (renamed) formerly - What motivates an Arab terrorist?

Everyone seems to be wondering why the Muslim terrorists are so quick to commit suicide. Let's see now:

1. No Internet.
2. No Baseball
3. No Football
4. No tailgate parties. (No tailgates on camels.)
5. No Basketball
6. No Hockey
7. No Golf
8. Polo is played with enemies heads instead of a ball.
9. No Hooters
10. No Pork BBQ.
11. No lobster, shellfish, or even frozen fish sticks. (Ever try to fish at an oasis?)
12. Rags for clothes and hats.
13. No music.
14. No radio.
15. Constant wailing from the guy in the prayer tower.
16. You can't shave.
17. Your wife can't shave.
18. You can't shower to wash off the smell of donkey cooked over burning camel dung.
19. The women have to wear baggy dresses and veils at all times.
20. Your bride is picked by someone else.
21. She smells just like your donkey.
22. But your donkey has a better disposition.
23. You can eat only with your right hand, ‘cause you wipe with your left. (Like life isn't complicated enough already).

Then they tell you that when you die it all gets better. No mystery here!

 

[sole seeker1]

"WE WOULD RATHER DO BUSINESS WITH 1000 AL QAEDA TERRORISTS THAN WITH A SINGLE AMERICAN"

This sign was displayed at a business establishment in Philadelphia, PA!


Doesn't that just make you see red? This sign was prominently displayed in the window of a business in Philadelphia. You are probably outraged at the thought of such an inflammatory statement. One would think that anti-hate groups from all across the country would be marching on this business... And that the National Guard might have to be called to keep the angry crowds back.

But, perhaps in these stressful times one might be tempted to let the proprietors simply make their statement. We are a society who holds Freedom of Speech as perhaps our greatest liberty. After all, it is just a sign.

You may ask what kind of business would dare post such a sign?

Answer: A Funeral Home! (Who said morticians had no sense of humor?)

 

[Sadistictickler]

damn, that's some real dry humor the morgue has got

 

[ancil]

that's some real racist humor you guys have got.

ancil

 

[Whacked Out Me]

Life's too short to take it personally, ancil...

 

[sole seeker1]

that's some real racist humor you guys have got.

Sorry, ancil, no offense meant toward arabs in general.

On the other hand, I couldn't give a good g**damn if I offend every terrorist on earth, whatever their nationality or race. They offended me first, even before September 11, 2001. F*ck 'em... I'd give them the same chance I'd give a rabid coyote.

 

[TheEliteOne]

hey,im an arab,but am a christian and find this hilarious lol. 😀

 

[sole seeker1]

Thanks feety... greatly appreciate your reply.

By the way... I have Irish and Sweedish heritage. My wife comes from a long line of Scotts. Everyone feel free to take your best shots... I'm not in the least sensitive about it. 😛 Tell you what, I'll go first:


An Englishman, Irishman and a Scotsman are all playing golf with their wives.

The Englishman's wife steps up to the tee and as she bends over to place her ball a gust of wind blows her skirt up and reveals her lack of underwear. "Good God! Why aren't you wearing any knickers?" her husband demanded. "Well, you don't give me enough housekeeping money to afford to buy any". The Englishman immediately reaches into his pocket and says, "For the sake of decency here's $50, go and buy yourself some underwear".

Next the Irishman's wife bends over to set her ball on the tee. Her skirt blows up to show that she is wearing no undies. "Bejesus woman. You've no knickers - why not?" She replies, "I can't afford any on the money you give me". He reaches into his pocket and says, "For the sake of decency here's $20, go and buy yourself some underwear!".

Lastly, the Scotsman's wife bends over. The wind also takes her skirt over her head to reveal that she too is naked under it. "Hoots Mon woman! Why d'ye have nae knickers?" She too explains, "You don't give me enough housekeeping money to be able to afford any". The Scot reaches into his pocket and says, "For the sake of decency, lass, here's a comb, tidy yourself up a wee bit!"

 

[Cbarton]

Scot/Brit/Irish joke

I'll do you one better:

How to tell if someone is British, Scottish or Irish

Place a pint of Guiness in front of them and have a fly land on the pint.

If the man is a Brit, he'll be disgusted and push it away.

If the man is a Scot, he'll look around, see no one looking, grab the fly, throw it over his shoulder and down the pint.

The Irishman will grab the fly immediately, shake him over the pint and shout, "SPIT IT OUT, YA LITTLE THIEF! SPIT IT OUT!!!!!!"


Erin Go Braugh! ( a head start on Monday!)

 

[SexyGoddess]

OMG I'm dyin ovah heah!

 

[miglan]

Ok, now you all teased me...

There is an american, a french and a dominican walking up the street. The get to a bridge and suddenly they hear a voice coming from nowhere. It says: "God bless men with faith in their hearts; any of you who dare to jump off the bridge, and at the same time make a loud out wish, it will be granted on the way down..." The three guys look at each other; the American gets back and comes off running, jumps and yells: "Money". Down he gets, and lands in a mattress full of money. The French gets back and comes off running, jumps and yells: "Women". Down he gets, and lands in a harem of beatiful women. The Dominican gets back and comes off and running, tricks with a stone while jumping, and yells: "Shit..."

 

[mns2k1]

Everyone seems to be wondering why the Muslim terrorists are so quick to commit suicide. Let's see now:

1. No Internet.
2. No Baseball
3. No Football
4. No tailgate parties. (No tailgates on camels.)
5. No Basketball
6. No Hockey
7. No Golf
8. Polo is played with enemies heads instead of a ball.
9. No Hooters
10. No Pork BBQ.
11. No lobster, shellfish, or even frozen fish sticks. (Ever try to fish at an oasis?)
12. Rags for clothes and hats.
13. No music.
14. No radio.
15. Constant wailing from the guy in the prayer tower.
16. You can't shave.
17. Your wife can't shave.
18. You can't shower to wash off the smell of donkey cooked over burning camel dung.
19. The women have to wear baggy dresses and veils at all times.
20. Your bride is picked by someone else.
21. She smells just like your donkey.
22. But your donkey has a better disposition.
23. You can eat only with your right hand, ‘cause you wipe with your left. (Like life isn't complicated enough already).

Then they tell you that when you die it all gets better. No mystery here!

i know it's an old post, but i just saw it 😀, i know that it's a VERY late reply
but i dont like the case ur attacking us on the site
now i know everybody will attack me for re-opening an old topic
but i'll give u some good answers for ur "joke"

for each point
1. no internet, ARE YOU SURE !!!!
2. no baseball, damn dude we're not intersted in a game with a bat !!!
3. we have our own football, but u call it "soccer" so it's ur fault not us
4. not needed, beside ur information is little old, we ride cars now, i have a chevorlete Malibu 1998 by the way
5.yes we have
6. yes we have
7. it's GOD DAMN BORNING
8. i dont think so, do u live on EARTH ? ( now i wonder 😛 )
9. nope we dont have hooters, dont need a girl who wear almost nothing and has to respect for even herself
10. am not that stupid to eat port and got sick, beside post is forbiddon in our religion
11. man we have these things, we also eat them (in case u cant imagine, and we ship them to other countries)
12.what do u think us ? at leats rags are better than "hooters" dress or non-dress 😉
13.NO MUSIC ? damn am gonna shoot my self, am a metallica fan and we got arabic music, great music
14. for me i dont like Radio
15.not true, beside dont u dare say anything about our religion, at least dont me start on your's 😉 )
16 & 17. WHAT ? hmmmm WHAT ??? says who, from where u got these jokes man ? or sorry these information, wiered
18. a little secret, yes we can ( at least i dont let the dog lick my face and lip and then i go and liss my GF 😉 u know what i mean
19.our religion said they must do that, for her OWN RESPECT, again better than hooters 😉
20.that was over 1500 years, oh sorry u wasnt there at that time
21. how did u know did u smell her ?
22.what is ur problem with the donkey, seems u are dreaming of having one, in ur case u want a pony 😀
23. dont talk about anything u cant understand

sole seeker, i know that ur trying to make a joke, but choose carefuly what r u posting here, it's hard to live these days in the world while everyone is attacking us, and i think ur from the U.S.A, if u have jokes on us,
i have joke on you, but am not gonna say anything now.

now guys
am sorry if i offended anyone, but for me as an arab i felt offended, so in case ur offended u know how i feel now, am sorry again
hope that i made my point

 

[IcelandCreature]

I find it hypocritically hilarious that Europeans are making fun of Arabs who were technologically decades ahead of them in the Middle Ages...

 

[GuldenVleugel]

I see no harm in a joke like this. An Arab who cannot take this innocent humour just is psychologically weak IMHO. It's time for people to learn not to hide behind political-correctness. Perhaps it's even better to strike back with simular humour.

In my vision, that would prevent a clash of civilisations way better.

Geez, I have read cruder humour...

 

[TheChameleon]

Please don't be hostile here... everybody can make fun of everybody equally.

 

[IrishTickle1]

And people will still die because of it. Should we still be laughing?

 

[FeatherDaemon1]

I find it hypocritically hilarious that Europeans are making fun of Arabs who were technologically decades ahead of them in the Middle Ages...

Technology swung back and forth many times.

Its easy to be technologically advanced when your empire (The Ottoman Turks) militarily controlled the Silk Road and the Mediterranean. They had the cash and communications of an organized empire.

Before that it was the Byzantines.
Before that it was the Romans.

After the Italian Merchant states were able to bypass the Turks via the circumnavigation of Africa the Turks days were numbered.

So you can dump the hypocrisy bit.

 

[Yersinia]

Wait a second... terrorists are supposed to be motivated to suicide by a LACK of golf?!

 

[MistressValerie1]

Mns2k, I agree that the joke was tasteless and reflects inaccurate stereotypes about the Muslim world. However, this post was made in March of 2003 as the US was preparing to go to war with Iraq and while Americans were still reeling from the 9/11 attacks just 19 months earlier, so sentiments were different then.

Because this thread seems to have opened some old wounds, I feel it best to close it before things turn nastier.