joke

[TicklingDuo]

My apologies in advance to anyone who may find this offensive. I tend to shy away from gay jokes since I have a brother who happens to be gay. But, this is really funny...and (I don't think) offensive towards gay men.

Ann

The United Airline's passenger cabin was being served by an obviously gay flight attendant who seemed to put everyone into a good mood as he served them food and drinks.

As the plane prepared to descend, he came swishing down the aisle and announced to the passengers, "Captain Marvey has asked me to announce that he'll be landing the big scary plane shortly, lovely people, so if you could just put up your trays that would be super."

On his trip back up the aisle, he noticed that a well dressed, rather exotic looking woman hadn't moved a muscle. "Perhaps you didn't hear me over those big brute engines. I asked you to raise your trazy-poo so the main man can pitty-pat us on the ground."

She calmly turned her head and said, "In my country, I am called a Princess. I take orders from no one."

To which the flight attendant replied, without missing a beat. "Well, sweet-cheeks, in my country, I'm called a Queen, so I outrank you. Put the f***in' tray up, Bitch."

 

[General Zod]

Funny Ann Thank you

 

[njjen3953]

LOL. That was good. Here is another joke.

PULLIN' OUT

For his birthday Little Patrick asked for a 10 speed bicycle.
His father said, "Son, we'd give you one, but the mortgage on this
house is $80,000 and your mother just lost her job. There's no way we
can afford it."

The next day the father saw Little Patrick heading out the front door
with a suitcase. So he asked, "Son, where are you going?"

Little Patrick told him, "I was walking past your room last night and
I heard you tell mom you were pulling out. I heard her tell you to
wait because she was coming too. And I'll be damned if I'm sticking
around here by myself with an $80,000 mortgage and no transportation."

Jen

 

[Alex Warfield]

That was......Super duper!!! Heh heh, sorry, couldn't resist!

 

[njjen3953]

Uh Oh, Here I go again.

😀 😀 😀

The CIA had an opening for an assassin. After all of the background
checks, interviews, and testing were done there were three
finalists. . . Two men and a woman.

For the final test, the CIA agents took one of the men to a large
metal door and handed him a gun. "We must know that you will follow
your instructions, no matter what the circumstances. In side of this
room, you will find your wife sitting in a chair. Kill Her!!!" The
man said, "You can't be serious.
I could never shoot my wife." The agent said, "Then you're not the
right man for this job."

The second man was given the same instructions. He took the gun and
went into the room. All was quiet for about five minutes. Then the
man came out with tears in his eyes." I tried, but I can't kill my
wife." The agent said,"You don't have what it takes. Take your wife
and go home."

Finally, it was the woman's turn. She was given the same instructions
to kill her husband. She took the gun and went into the room. Shots
were heard, one shot after another. They heard screaming, crashing,
banging on the walls. After a few minutes, all was quiet. The door
opened slowly and there stood the woman. She wiped the sweat from her
brow, and said, "This gun is loaded with blanks. I had to beat him to
death with the chair."

Jen