Joy - guess what? That personals ad worked. (LONG)

[tkNUT]

And I mean... it WORKED.

This girl who's butt rivals the legendary ass of 1993 (and that ass IS legendary) picked up on the message. I'll have to get a better look at her ass to really rate it next to the 1993 standard ass.

And... strangely... she has a thing for "older" men... Yea, I'm 31. I couldn't believe it but she was 18... and it wasn't a bot.

My hat still tips to our Acorna - I'm glad for her that she knows she likes em younger. I was the same way at 18. I mean... 30 year olds had JOBS.... and lived in an alien world of equity, negative equity, loans, stocks and bonds. It was just out of my league at that age too.

It gets better... Top 10 reasons to date her.

1-She's got my tastes behind closed doors - including the tickling, occaisional ass spanking, and lots and lots of ropes...
2-She's interested in having kids... right away, not waiting 10 years.
3-She wants 10 kids. I want 13. I think I've talked her into considering 13.
4-She likes to fall asleep in her man's arms.
5-She loves to watch her man sleep and likes to wakeup to someone watching her sleep, and loves to be awoken by kisses.
6-She's ordered me to quit smoking, I've complied.
7-She doesn't mind going to nursing school if we hook up so that if I die she'll have income.
8-She's exceedingly romantic. We're talking kissing under the moonlight over a peaceful lake romantic.
9-She's a mere 6 hours away.
10-She wants kids like asap.
11-Her ass may be better than the ass of 1993.
12-She wants to be the stay at home mom and just not have the giant SUV and instead have kids.
13-When she sings, angels stop what they are doing and listen.

This girl has HEARTBREAK written all over her. So.... regretably... sex is off. I haven't broken this news to her yet... but in tugging on the heartstrings she got herself put on the "No sex without a ring" list. Such a gem must be treasured and sipped like a fine wine, not guzzled like a fine lager. And tickling is off too... well... tickling in the raw anyway.

Why? Cuz when I get with someone I like for more than their body, I tend to switch my heart into breakable mode. Sex is an emotional thing for me, not physical. It always has been. Tickling is a VERY emotional thing for me. Add sex or tickling to my heart in breakable mode and the fragility of my heart goes up to that of sea salt crystals. I've had the heart broken twice so far. The first we were having sex... and tickling. The second, no sex and I liked the girl enough to truly wanted her to have someone else if she wanted. My heart still broke but I walked peacefully away. The heartbreak comparison between the two heartbreaks was incredible. I got over the second one in a mere week. It took years for the 1st one to wear off.

So, no sex. No tickling. Sorry. I don't want to live through another heartache. And this girl has what it takes to go WAY beyond my limits and to enjoy taking me there. Can you say gut wrenching laughter that sounds like crying?

Thank God I lost 25 lbs in the last 12 months.... 168 lbs and I do look good. Even for 31. 😉 (google "hacker's diet" and find the PDF)

I just thought I should tell you guys the happy ending to this tale. Apparently God's greatest gifts ARE unanswered prayers...

Ma-ia-hii
Ma-ia-huu
Ma-ia-hoo
Ma-ia-haha

 

[AcornaMordor]

aww congrats. But I think that's only 12 reasons, you listed kids twice.

 

[jj82277]

actually 3 times.

CAUTION:

studies shown that involvement with a girl under the age of 25 at the point of contact represents an astounding 80% chance of divorce. thats 8 out of 10.

Let's jsut say for example that you were getting on a plane to your favorite place in the world. on comes the pilot. the plane is beautiful and comfortable first class everything looks good. the pilot comes over the loudspeaker and tells you that we are having so so weathewr conditions we are going to be flying at 10,000 miles above sea level and we have a 20% chance of getting to our destination. would you stay on the plane. would it matter how good the ass looked. would it matter how good a ler the stewardesses were.

not to be the spoiled sport but aside from the fact that she is open to procreation and the fact that she is romantic you really havent said that much.

the nursing school to replace income is just an example of imaturity, that's what life insurance is for.

I know it was not requested, but i would advise that you kept arms length and didn't invest too much emotionally with this person for the next 5 or six years untill she experiences some of the life termoils that you so eloquantly explained.

but hey, im just an over zelous neo con right. I mean that planning ahead thing kills all the fun right. I mean she looks great and its fun now. Its not like its the same thing that happened to Scott Peterson or any of the millions of divorced couples. or there's no proven gravitation of younger women to older men more capable of providing and protecting for children either. I'm just being annoying and throwing in my two cents.

 

[nessonite1]

You're counting an awful lot of chickens before they've even though about hatching. You can't plan an entire future with someone a very short time after meeting them...Especially not at that young age. People change a LOT in their early 20's. Some other things to keep in mind
Once she's had one kid her enthusiasm for having a dozen more will decrease dramatically.
Expect that ultimate ass to become not so ultimate after continuous child bearing.

 

[wendyandpeter]

I'm sorry -- did you say.........18?????

Allow me to give a bit of unsolicited advice, at the risk of shattering your dreams. If she's 18 and looking to marry a 31-year-old and have the first of 10 kids IMMEDIATELY, she's running from something and sees you as safe harbor. Most kids that age are excited about the prospect of going out into the world and being happy, single, independent young adults. If she isn't, it's probably because she's already decided she doesn't have the wherewithall to BE a happy, single, independent young adult. Chances are she's into older men because she's looking for the father she never had (in one way or another) and wants to have children immediately because she thinks children will make her now unstable, unhappy life stable and rosey (see?? all fixed now). But, of course, none of this will fix her life, and it will be you who'll have to deal with the kind of deep, depressing disppointment that comes when one realizes there are no external fixes to internal problems.

She'll be into anything she needs to be in order to get an adult with a job bought in to her plan -- be it tickling, ass smacking, or fricking NASCAR. Don't be a putz, my friend. You're old enough to know better.

OK, OK, I hear ya. All she needs is love and understanding. You will be her hero and fix everything. OK, let's pretend you have the ability to fix her. Once she's fixed, IF she's really fixed, she'll then realize she wants what she's missing -- what every self-actualized young woman wants and -- deserves. And off she'll go. This is a no-win situation for you, and a potentially REALLY shitty situation for some children.

P.s. It's pretty hard to find an 18 year-old these days who doesn't have a great ass. However, when that ass grows up to be a depressed, disillusioned 30 year-old ass -- well, you do the math.

 

[AcornaMordor]

I always thought men who focused on asses were so shallow. Bodies change, especially when children are involved.

 

[jj82277]

hey i like asses, but it is all conditional on the person. besides that's like the one place that feathers rarely touch and there can be explosive consequences after prolonged exposure.

wow. I really think that this is a center right forum. go figure. I have found a home within my home. i think that i am going to cry now.


and wendy and peter, i didn't want to say it that blountly or directly, so thank you for doing it for me, you lucky devils.

 

[wendyandpeter]

Well -- hope it wasn't blunt to the point of harsh or seeming uncaring. That was not the intention.

It's so easy to get carried away by the prospect of hitting the jackpot, until you begin to question the definition of "jackpot." A very wise person once said "be careful what you wish for." That's so true in so many ways. There is nothing in the world wrong with being 18 years old. We were all 18 once. And there are incredibly mature 18 year-olds. But any 18 year-old that's eager to bypass the payoff years after adolescence and go straight to being a mother of three by the time most of her peers are graduating from college -- well, that HAS to raise a red flag in today's society. Look at it this way -- how many 23 year-olds with five kids can watch prime time TV in America and not feel cheated?

 

[Timewarp]

I heard once love was blind. Not to be critical but this sounds just like the case. I mean I can't judge your love but how about some deep thought and meditation before coming to a final desecion. Just some constructive critisism.

 

[wendyandpeter]

Not to come off as overly mushy, but let's not throw the word "love" around here too easily. Love entails friendship, trust, respect, reliability, etc... -- these elements of a relationship cannot be attained overnight.

It has been argued (and I think convincingly) that it is impossible to experience true romantic love with someone out of one's peer group. I think we know this sort of instinctually. This knowledge is, for example, why we (as a society) frown upon teachers dating students, doctors dating patients, etc. It would definitely be worth asking ones self if an 18 year-old kid is really a member of a 31 year old's peer group. A difference of 13 years in age when one member of a relationship is practically still a child is VERY different than 13 years when both members are older adults.

Besides, I read the original post. Comparing someone to "the ass of 1993" isn't love. It's lust. Which is of course fine (awesome even), but not the stuff that forms a foundation for marriage.

REFERRING to someone as the "ass of 1993" is interesting (and telling) in its own right. I'm willing to bet that there's a women out there somewhere who also refers to the "ass of 1993," but means something very different when she says it -- LOL

 

[nessonite1]

I agree. Leave this future psych ward patient to another guy. And do women everywhere a favor by avoiding dating until you can refrain from referring to a woman by a year and how great her ass was. btw...it's 2005. The ass of 1993 is most likely not the ass it was in 1993. Where do you think this girl's ass is going to be in 2018? After what...8 kids? lol

 

[Tickler Bart]

Besides, she's 6 hours away from you. That is VERY far to travel either to you or to her. I see nothing but BIG trouble for you.
She is looking for Financial Security & she will tell you everything you want to hear in order for her to get what SHE wants. . . Your MONEY.
Why do you want 13 children? That is WAY too many.

 

[MistressValerie1]

... I'm willing to bet that there's a women out there somewhere who also refers to the "ass of 1993," but means something very different when she says it -- LOL

LMOCLRAO! 😀 😀 😀

^^^(Laughing my own cute little round arse off 🙂 )

 

[jj82277]

was that an arse.

If you tell me that you are one of those vixxen british chicks with long nails i may be forced to follow you around this forum Val.
Maybe one day we could discuss the Libertarian position.

 

[MistressValerie1]

LOL, JJ, yes, that was an arse 😀

I learned English in Thailand, where British usages are preferred, but my accent is a mix of Thai/Filipino, and sounds very much like the "Mrs Khan" character on King of the Hill 🙂