Just trying to figure any positive meaning in my life

[GirlWhoLikes2Laugh]

I have just been wondering lately that since I am not married, in between jobs, and have been going to G.R.A.S.P (which is a support group for adults on the autism spectrum) and other groups for people on the autism spectrum. My next thought is, why am I still here on Earth? I mean they say everyone on earth has a purpose and I am still trying to figure out why God has allowed me to still be alive and healthy. I mean there have been a lot of things in my life but more of my life has been negative. What that means is that I was a different person before I was diagnosed with Asperger's Syndrome which has been over a year now.

In my early years like grammar school things were pretty much fine. I had some friends but I was unable to keep them as friends. Things pretty much began to get worse for me from Junior High on. For the most part, particularly with guys, they either reject me, make fun of me, or might talk to me. It's what I have become used to unfortunately . Have dated a total of four guys in my life and none of them worked out. Since before I got diagnosed with A.S, I wasn't as confident a person as I am after being diagnosed with A.S. I was too used to most people teasing me, rejecting me and I even got bullied occasionally. It somehow becomes a part of who I am and I don't know how I can get over it, if there's a way to do so.

To make a long story short, I called around to different libraries and began to do volunteer work at two different libraries while I look for a job. It does make me feel good to be busy while looking for work. Have a new perspective on life since I have been diagnosed with A.S. and I hope that God helps me figure out why I am still here on Earth. There, I've said enough for now. Thanks for reading this thread.

 

[drew70]

If you've made friends, if you've positively affected anybody in your lifetime, then that's all the purpose you need, in my opinion. If you've ever comforted somebody who was sad, or helped out somebody in need, you've justified your existence as far as I'm concerned.

 

[GirlWhoLikes2Laugh]

Thanks Drew. I really appreciate your kind words.

 

[Redmage]

I don't know that the Divine has only one purpose for anyone. That seems like an awful waste of a versatile tool. Most of us find our callings retrospectively, by looking back on our lives and finding the places where we improved the world in some lasting way. And then we try to do more of that going forward.

You will never know for certain what plans God had for you until you have the opportunity to ask Him in person. In the meantime I'd say you can find the meaning of your life in the meaning you've had to other people.

 

[Mitchell]

Jen, I believe that all of us, deep inside, pose the questions you are asking when things aren't going as we plan, with job, social plans, etc. I'm a believer in life cycles, where sometimes no matter how hard one tries, they are just not going to be able to make things work with certain people, or certain situations, at a particular time or point in their lives. Perhaps the particular people they are dealing with, or the situation, wasnt right or proper for them. However, just around the corner, is a new opportunity, and new ideas, people, and challenges. Things may well work with those people.
I believe that you are experiencing a cycle in your life of sorting things out, and that there is a plan for you. You will find it, and benefit from it, and that it will turn out positively in the long run. It may seem painful or confusing now, but, I'm confident that you will find your way, and emerge better and stronger for it. Good Luck to you. I hope you will find a good job, and all the answers you seek.

Mitch

 

[Chuck D]

For a long time Jen i've had unexplainable behavors and i couldnt figure out what was wrong with me. Within the last few years i realized that i have a mild case of manic depression.. least i think its mild. i haven't actually been to a psychiatrist either, but after research all about it i'm pretty sure i have it slightly.. all the time i go from being in the greatest mood, even if nothing but bad things are going my way, i just get that 'i'll get through all of this no problem' attitude.. then again sometimes i'll just get really depressed, even when everything is going my way.. the hard times is when i get depressed and things aren't going well.. anyways since i realized i have this its easier to deal with for me.. when i start getting depressed i just kind of go numb and ride it out.. all this mixed with a.d.d. and my 30% hearing loss is a bit do deal with sometimes, but i would blend in a crowd cause the normality of all is that most people(or a lot more than you would think) suffer from something and probably don't even know it. I'm not saying dont feel sorry for yourself, but try not to let it bring you down. God will direct you toward his plan, just stay positive and live your life.

 

[Babbles]

As you are now, there are many positives

Agree with all the above --Your simply *existing as a kind, caring, honest, well-intentioned person
helps to tip the scale to benefit humanity overall.

You're a pleasure to talk to, any guys who don't respond to that are just not worth your time (I dated maybe five guys by age 30, briefly, so don't feel bad...) I was happier alone than stuck with the wrong schmuck, anyway, you're a free agent 🙂

And people change careers at ALL ages, go back to school at 30, 50, 70, whatever, either to get a better job or just improve themselves, and/or keep their minds active ---
Working in a library is a great place for that as well
(and you could get paid as a page if you're putting books away, as you probably know, or as a clerk if you look into taking the civil service exam, which comes I think once a year, hopefully not once every 2 yrs....)
Just as a backup until you find the job you'd really like to keep, maybe --
Either way, you're keeping yourself active, which is great -- Unlike me in that position at one time, you're not just moping around pointlessly --

At the very least, just in this Internet forum you've helped educate countless people about Asberger's Syndrome (I wasn't aware of it, for one) and your questions and replies are positive and thought-provoking. I can imagine you have an even more positive impact in person, upon whomever you meet.

 

[cloudgazer2k]

the best i can say is this: don't stop. push through all obstacles, mental or otherwise, and show us what you got.

 

[jaba]

Hi Jen,

Redmage, Drew and Babbles all give valuable advice and more eloquently said what I was going to say.

The only other thing I might add is that this world is so full of people that need you and can be helped by you, in so many ways, Jen. And you have shown us all that you are fully capable and compassionate and caring enough to do do that. Helping others enriches your life so fully, and can keep you so busy, that the questions about purpose in your life can and will be answered every day, in many ways.

The positive meaning and purpose to your life waits right outside your door, Jen, every day. You will find it...I had to look outside myself, and outside my door, to find it...... 🙂

 

[paracarl44]

You need to watch that Old movie.

"It's A Wonderful Life" starring Jimmy Stewart. Then think about all the people who are really your friends.

 

[tcklft]

I think you'd feel better if you had an action figure of yourself like General Zod does.

 

[Headsnap]

I have just been wondering lately that since I am not married, in between jobs, and have been going to G.R.A.S.P (which is a support group for adults on the autism spectrum) and other groups for people on the autism spectrum. My next thought is, why am I still here on Earth? I mean they say everyone on earth has a purpose and I am still trying to figure out why God has allowed me to still be alive and healthy.

Wise old monk once say to me that you shouldn't measure your self-worth against personal relationships (romantic or otherwise), property you own or your employment status because that way lies the road to never being satisfied and always wanting more. Unfortunately the old bastard got deported back to Tibet before he could impart to me what one SHOULD measure their self-worth against so I'm still looking for that. I think it might be tied to the size of your telly :-o

The best answer I've heard to the question "What's the point of me?" came on a BBC Radio Scotland phone-in, when some erudite caller postulated that the point of humankind is "to make more humans". Truly wise words spoken by a modern sage. That's about as succinct as it needs to be, and the sooner people realise that's the only real purpose of the species the better off we'll all be, and the sooner psychologists can fuck off to dentist school and train themselves to do an actual job 😀

 

[Zoe_TheCat]

Ah, the famous ticklejen, we meet at last.

So sorry about what my boyfriend said, trust me, I chewed his ass out for embarasssing you and believe it or not he started to cry when i did give him hell. But then i felt bad and hugged him, because i felt bad and he's my widdle jersey!!!

Anyway, it sounds like you're having a midlife crisis, and i can relate. It wasn't that long ago that i was feeling angry towards the world and so sick to death of guys going out with me with only one thing on their mind. I got bullied by the punk chicks in high school, and got teased about my girls.

JT has told me nothing but good things about you, and recounting on how much fun he had with you. And I've read some of your posts, and you seem like a lovely woman. It'll all be okay, just hold onto the friends that you love so dear and everything will work itself out.

 

[aurora5150]

i've thought about this question ever since i was 16. and honestly i haven't figured out what answer is right for me.

i think you may enjoy looking up information about existentialism. not from a philosophical point but a theraputic/psychological point. because when talked about in psychology it refers to what your talking about. it looks at why we're here and what does your life mean.

i'm not saying go to therapy but just go over the theory and see if it has any helpful ideas. i hope you find this helpful.

 

[Lionhart]

A personal experience

Not so long ago I was so focused on what I didn't have in life like money, a college degree, a great job, ext. I became envious of people that had all the things that I wished I had in life, and completely took for granted the things in life that i'm blessed with. Finally one day I thought about people that I know that can't so much as sit up in bed because of certain illnesses, some are def, some blind, some die for their country, and some are citizens under dictative society that don't have the freedoms that we do. Then I put things in perspective. The little stuff like health, freedom, clean water, edible food, shelter, and the ability to get up on any given morning and create a better tomorrow suddenly became massively more important and I thank God for all this and more each and every day. Everything else has become spectacular tasting icing on the cake. Just that small shift of focus somehow changed my entire life perspective, and it's made my personal life struggle more bareable. I don't want to ramble on here and sound like the dahli lama but I saw your post and thought that might give you a slightly different perspective. Your smart though, and probably already thought about it. Sorry you're having a rough time right now, but thanks for not being afraid to talk about it. You've probably inspired more people than you think. Much love. 😉

 

[tickleteasing]

I have just been wondering lately that since I am not married, in between jobs, and have been going to G.R.A.S.P (which is a support group for adults on the autism spectrum) and other groups for people on the autism spectrum. My next thought is, why am I still here on Earth? I mean they say everyone on earth has a purpose and I am still trying to figure out why God has allowed me to still be alive and healthy. I mean there have been a lot of things in my life but more of my life has been negative. What that means is that I was a different person before I was diagnosed with Asperger's Syndrome which has been over a year now.

In my early years like grammar school things were pretty much fine. I had some friends but I was unable to keep them as friends. Things pretty much began to get worse for me from Junior High on. For the most part, particularly with guys, they either reject me, make fun of me, or might talk to me. It's what I have become used to unfortunately . Have dated a total of four guys in my life and none of them worked out. Since before I got diagnosed with A.S, I wasn't as confident a person as I am after being diagnosed with A.S. I was too used to most people teasing me, rejecting me and I even got bullied occasionally. It somehow becomes a part of who I am and I don't know how I can get over it, if there's a way to do so.

To make a long story short, I called around to different libraries and began to do volunteer work at two different libraries while I look for a job. It does make me feel good to be busy while looking for work. Have a new perspective on life since I have been diagnosed with A.S. and I hope that God helps me figure out why I am still here on Earth. There, I've said enough for now. Thanks for reading this thread.

You have friends Jen, a lot of people care about you. I just recently got told I had Asperger's too.

 

[GirlWhoLikes2Laugh]

Agree with all the above --Your simply *existing as a kind, caring, honest, well-intentioned person
helps to tip the scale to benefit humanity overall.

You're a pleasure to talk to, any guys who don't respond to that are just not worth your time (I dated maybe five guys by age 30, briefly, so don't feel bad...) I was happier alone than stuck with the wrong schmuck, anyway, you're a free agent 🙂

And people change careers at ALL ages, go back to school at 30, 50, 70, whatever, either to get a better job or just improve themselves, and/or keep their minds active ---
Working in a library is a great place for that as well
(and you could get paid as a page if you're putting books away, as you probably know, or as a clerk if you look into taking the civil service exam, which comes I think once a year, hopefully not once every 2 yrs....)
Just as a backup until you find the job you'd really like to keep, maybe --
Either way, you're keeping yourself active, which is great -- Unlike me in that position at one time, you're not just moping around pointlessly --

At the very least, just in this Internet forum you've helped educate countless people about Asberger's Syndrome (I wasn't aware of it, for one) and your questions and replies are positive and thought-provoking. I can imagine you have an even more positive impact in person, upon whomever you meet.

Thanks for everyone's support but especially what you said and Zoe as well. I will keep all of what you said in mind. I'll just keep going the way I am going and hopefully things will get better for me.

 

[Miss Serendipity]

Awww

I may be late in replying but I just wanted to show you that I care.

I know what it's like when the world turns you in circles. I have gone through alot of hard times in my life as well which are still happening to me now. I wish I could give you some words of wisdom that could help you but I am never good at that sort of thing.

I don't know why guys would say such aweful things. I may not truly know you, however I know you don't deserve people who treat you like crap. From your posts I think you a wonderful sweet person! I guess guys just don't know what they are missing but I am sure they are missing alot!

Your probably asking yourself where do you go from here. So many roads, but none that seem clear, itsn't that always how it works. Time moves by so fast & the chance seem so few. those peopl who treat you bad just aren't worth your time! you are a beautiful person & if they can't see that they are blind!

Just live your life for all its worth. Take all that you've been given and leave your mark upon this earth. Trust your heart to show you everything that you'll ever need. Hang in there Jen!

Hugs,
Chey