When someone doesn't respect your privacy. My dad decided to walk in on me while I was watching a video clip. (a tickling clip, duh)...Needless to say, I was shocked, and extremely.....EXTREMELY pissed. I swear I could have killed him, had he not been my dad. He always knocks....I have told him to do so. Then he decides to just change all that one day because he thinks he can. I don't give a damn who he is, or what he thinks he is, he WILL respect my privacy. Otherwise, he can get the hell out of my house and STAY out. After our *little* argument, he left, and I could care less. I am probably more angry right now than I've been in awhile. You may think im stupid, but lemme just add a little something: My wife saw it all, and I have not, I repeat, NOT YET TOLD HER about my tickling passion. This is the worst day of my life.
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Know what really pisses me off?
- Thread starter Krokus
- Start date
Dave2112
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I can understand your ire, Krokus. However, I do hope that your relationship with your father will not be permanently affected by this. Let me get this straight, so that I fully understand your post. Your Dad lives with you? Am I reading that right? If this is the case, yes...your privacy should be respected. Is it possible that your Dad wasn't thinking, or didn't really mean anything? You may have to re-evaluate the rules you live under if you feel that strongly about your privacy. Perhaps he just doesn't understand it the way you'd like him to.
As for your wife...(not that this justifies invasion, but you can't duck it now), it may be time for "the talk." If you are going to have a succesful marriage, you need to have things out in the open. This is why I've always been an advocate of being upfront in the relationship sometime before marriage. The question has been asked elsewhere if one could/should have a serious relationship with someone who doesn't share our fetish. I've said that I couldn't carry on a long-term relationship with someone who wasn't, mostly for this very reason. I don't want to have to explain this out of the blue later, knowwhatImean?
I think that if you sit down and talk, things will work out. Maybe it will open a new door in your relationship. If nothing else, you can at least have it in the open and have the weight off your shoulders. Give your wife the benefit of the doubt for now. Maybe temper the shock by showing interest in something she's into. "Is there anything you like that you haven't told me? Maybe I can help you with it." Something like that. Women have a lot of stuff in those adorable minds of thiers, and you probably don't know all of it.
I know this sounds easier than it is, but try to be positive. You have a long life ahead of you, and it would be better to be comfortable with where it's going.
If want to chat about things or need some advice, feel free to drop me a line. It's bad now, but not the end of the world. Hope things work out, dude. 😎
As for your wife...(not that this justifies invasion, but you can't duck it now), it may be time for "the talk." If you are going to have a succesful marriage, you need to have things out in the open. This is why I've always been an advocate of being upfront in the relationship sometime before marriage. The question has been asked elsewhere if one could/should have a serious relationship with someone who doesn't share our fetish. I've said that I couldn't carry on a long-term relationship with someone who wasn't, mostly for this very reason. I don't want to have to explain this out of the blue later, knowwhatImean?
I think that if you sit down and talk, things will work out. Maybe it will open a new door in your relationship. If nothing else, you can at least have it in the open and have the weight off your shoulders. Give your wife the benefit of the doubt for now. Maybe temper the shock by showing interest in something she's into. "Is there anything you like that you haven't told me? Maybe I can help you with it." Something like that. Women have a lot of stuff in those adorable minds of thiers, and you probably don't know all of it.
I know this sounds easier than it is, but try to be positive. You have a long life ahead of you, and it would be better to be comfortable with where it's going.
If want to chat about things or need some advice, feel free to drop me a line. It's bad now, but not the end of the world. Hope things work out, dude. 😎
TklDuo-Ann
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I agree with Dave. Sound advice. My dad does that to me every time we're up to visit them. Unfortunately, the computer is in his bedroom. So, I can't exactly tell him to get out. But, he has no interest in carrying on a conversation until I get online. Then, he thinks of anything and everything to interrupt. (We don't go online much when we're up there.)
I can relate to what you say and to your anger. But, I also agree with Dave here. Don't let the anger rule you. Take the situation and see what good results you can bring out of it. Have that talk with your wife. And...have a talk with your dad. Calmly explaining your feelings may actually bring about some change...even if only for a while.
Good luck!
Ann
I can relate to what you say and to your anger. But, I also agree with Dave here. Don't let the anger rule you. Take the situation and see what good results you can bring out of it. Have that talk with your wife. And...have a talk with your dad. Calmly explaining your feelings may actually bring about some change...even if only for a while.
Good luck!
Ann
Knox The Hatter
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Yeah, Kro, have that talk with the wife. Please heed though: a lot rides on how you present all of this. If you present it with humor and a good attitude, all should work out. If you present it with shame, and confess to this as if you murdered the family pet and buried it out in the backyard, and claimed that it ran away, then you have a problem. If she loves you, she will understand. No ifs, ands or buts.
You're gonna have to talk to Dad, too. Some parents of grown children can't seem to figure out that the house their children occupy isn't THEIRS.
You're gonna have to talk to Dad, too. Some parents of grown children can't seem to figure out that the house their children occupy isn't THEIRS.
Dave2112 said:
No, my dad does not live with me, BUT he comes over alot, and I mean alot. We have never had any problem like this before, in fact, he has really never entered my bedroom...maybe once or twice...I don't know, today is gonna be hell. Michelle will be home soon, and I will have "the talk" .....I know she probably thinks im crazy right now...I just pray to God that she will be understanding. As for my dad, I suppose I will call him tonight and talk with him about the issue. I hope I can clear the air in that regard. Anyhow, I will let you guys know how this turns out...wish me luck...now, time to get drunk.
MrPartickler
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Hope things work out...
First, I hope your relationship with your father remains strong. You no doubt reacted so strongly because he walked in on your secret--your alter ego of sorts. Like Dave said, he probably wasn't thinking. And like you said, it's happened a few times before...but probably without much harm done. Actually, it probably proves that you managed to keep your "other life" pretty well hidden over the years. So secret, in fact, he probably thought you had no secrets at all.
I like Knox's advice, too. Tell your wife while your in good spirits so it goes smoothly. In fact, you might tell her <i>while</i> tickling her. You're both bound (no pun intended 😉 ) to be in good spirits then.
Good luck!
First, I hope your relationship with your father remains strong. You no doubt reacted so strongly because he walked in on your secret--your alter ego of sorts. Like Dave said, he probably wasn't thinking. And like you said, it's happened a few times before...but probably without much harm done. Actually, it probably proves that you managed to keep your "other life" pretty well hidden over the years. So secret, in fact, he probably thought you had no secrets at all.
I like Knox's advice, too. Tell your wife while your in good spirits so it goes smoothly. In fact, you might tell her <i>while</i> tickling her. You're both bound (no pun intended 😉 ) to be in good spirits then.
Good luck!
AffectionateDan
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Sorry, man...
That's rough. I hope it turns out okay.
That's rough. I hope it turns out okay.
TickleCrazy
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Krokus, I hope and pray your talk with your wife went well for you both. One thing my husband asked me is why I hadn't trusted him with my secret all along? I just said the truth, that the very real risk of him not understanding wasn't worth the slim chance that I might get my fantasy fulfilled... and that my relationship with him, and the life we've made together, is something I will give up anything to keep. I hope your wife can see her value.
You never know Krokus, you wife might just re-act along the lines of "Oh is that ALL that was bothering you honey?"
From the way you reacted to your wife finding out (as opposed to your dad walking in) it seems you felt a bit guilty about being caught out. I don't know if it'll work mate, but come accross as open and totally unsecretive when you have "the talk" with her. She may not love tickling as much as you, but she'll probably not act as adversely as you fear.
Best Of British mate. 😉
From the way you reacted to your wife finding out (as opposed to your dad walking in) it seems you felt a bit guilty about being caught out. I don't know if it'll work mate, but come accross as open and totally unsecretive when you have "the talk" with her. She may not love tickling as much as you, but she'll probably not act as adversely as you fear.
Best Of British mate. 😉
I had the talk with Michelle....I have to say, it was the scariest situation I have ever been in. I told her about everything. About my love for tickling, about the TMF, about...well, everything. I was so scared, because I was worried that she would leave me, and I can't handle the thought of that. I told her everything, and I then went and took a shower to give her some time to think about it. I came back out and told her that I really didn't want this to affect us. I told her that if it came to it, I would leave everything behind and try to destroy my love for tickling. I told her that I care for her so much more than anything I've ever had in my life, that I would change anything to keep our wonderful relationship together. Much to my suprise, she told me that it was ok. She said that she understood me. She said that she would still love me, that she would still be there for me, that nothing would be different. She said that she was very happy to know that I felt so strongly for her, and that I trusted her with my secret. She then kissed me.....to have this out in the open, to know that my wife is such a wonderful person, it really makes me truly happy. I can't picture living a day without her...I really love her more than anything. She even asked me why I held it back for so long....I guess I was just scared to lose her....I am so happy, that I just spent 300 bucks on roses and sweets for her. I have a whole romantic evening set up for us. (Im such a geek) =P
-I would truly like to thank you guys for all of your concern. I really makes me feel nice to know that you guys care.
-I would truly like to thank you guys for all of your concern. I really makes me feel nice to know that you guys care.
TickleCrazy
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Krokus, that is so awesome!
Well done mate. 🙂
I think people should remember though that a love for tickling is nothing to be ashamed of, or feel that we are "in the closet" with. Even vanilla sexual books sometimes mention it, although not to the degree we do it.
I think people should remember though that a love for tickling is nothing to be ashamed of, or feel that we are "in the closet" with. Even vanilla sexual books sometimes mention it, although not to the degree we do it.
D
Deleted member 2452
Guest
wow, i'm really amazed
you married a woman, and never tickled her, yet you are a tickphile?
i just don't understand😕
steve
you married a woman, and never tickled her, yet you are a tickphile?
i just don't understand😕
steve
Re: wow, i'm really amazed
That's why I mentioned what I did, above. Krokus's got the right to reveal things in any order or detail he chooses to, but I can't personally imagine being that close to someone who I don't share that with. I really think people experience feelings of guilt or shame about their "quirks", which is a crying pity.
But better late than never Krok. Well done mate and the Best of British with all your fuure endeavors in that direction. 🙂
areenactor said:
That's why I mentioned what I did, above. Krokus's got the right to reveal things in any order or detail he chooses to, but I can't personally imagine being that close to someone who I don't share that with. I really think people experience feelings of guilt or shame about their "quirks", which is a crying pity.
But better late than never Krok. Well done mate and the Best of British with all your fuure endeavors in that direction. 🙂
Re: wow, i'm really amazed
Trust me, keeping it from her for so long was NOT an easy task. I thought about it everyday. I have tickled her many times before, but she thought nothing of it, other than flirting.
areenactor said:
Trust me, keeping it from her for so long was NOT an easy task. I thought about it everyday. I have tickled her many times before, but she thought nothing of it, other than flirting.
Krokus said:
Now let's all celebrate this by gang tickling Michelle 🙄
J/K. Glad it all went well. I always wait 'till I get to a 3 months relationship before talking about my 'special love' ( happened only once yet 🙄 ( and for records, I broke up with that girl, personal probs, so there 😀 ) )
Peace out ( and in, and backwards, and ... whatever, it's late here and I'm tired, sue me !!!! )
UnclStevel
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I sure hope he didn't walk in while you had your weezer out...
Steve 🙂
Steve 🙂
TickleCrazy
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Krokus, what was the aftermath with you and your dad?
When I tried to explain it to him, he said "It's ok. Some things are meant to be kept a secret." It sounded pretty creepy, but I just thought, well, hell ok. As for the weezer....thinking about that scenario almost makes me sick.
TickleCrazy
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Well at least he's not bothering you. Maybe now he'll knock?
