Laughing Willow (Tree/F feet)

[ElFewja]

Finally decided to go over some of the stuff that's been sitting in my editing folder for a few years. Figured I'd throw this up first since its closer to styles I was toying around with a few years ago with shorter, quicker stories because I've sort of stepped away from that again. I'm not very good at it, so whatever. Anyway, uh, there isn't much to say about this piece. There was a decent while where I had this idea of a tree being created to tickle women but then I couldn't get anywhere with a plot or why someone would make it. Just ended up making it a really short story because of that, and I (at least) think it worked. Lacks substance or anything meaningful though and just kind of... well, sets you up to go read something else, I suppose. Should probably mention I was toying with trying to get the narrator of Bastion's voice to work in written text. It worked better here than it has elsewhere, but it's definitely something I'm still trying to get down. End rant begin story.

Laughing Willow (Tree/F feet)

Just a quick trip, I heard her say. Just for some apples. See, they only grow in that forest, the one we marked forbidden some time ago when the other maidens didn't return.

We told her not to go, but what choice did she have? The drought ruined our crops. I watched her walk off into the shadows. Told her to watch her footing as she left. She said don't worry, I'll be back soon.

Well that forest, it's dark. The sun only peaks through the leaves, as if it's afraid it'll get caught in there. So when she stepped onto that sappy stuff and couldn't lift her legs from the ground, well, I wasn't surprised. How can you watch where you can't see?

That forest... we don't know how old it is. Too old. Old as the earth, maybe. Real nasty things in there, unnatural things. Living things, born from the lost arts. Things that feed on the energies of others, the energies that created them in the first place.

She passed one of those artifacts, right in front of the trap she walked into. Looked like a willow, its leaves weeping straight from the branches, brushing down and scooping her into the air right out of her sandals which stayed so stubbornly stuck to the ground. They didn't need her.

No, she realized as a tree's leaf brushed against her naked foot, forcing her to laugh, that sandal didn't need her. She needed it. See, those energies are easier to acquire under certain... circumstances. When a person is more active, for example. That tree didn't know that, no sir. Didn't know anything. It just did what it had to.

What it had to do was restrain her, fold her up like one of our pretzels. Bound her like a hog for the market, propping what it needed right above her. Then it weaved it's feather soft leaves all across those soles, fluttering over 'em real nice. Thing didn't hesitate, didn't let up. It was hungry after all those years. Wouldn't be any saving for those tiny feet of hers; tree wouldn't give 'em up 'til it was done.

She couldn't get away, couldn't even struggle. There was nothing to struggle against. All she could do was laugh. Laugh at her captor, at her predicament, at how she must have looked, swinging there like a fool. Didn't matter how she twisted her feet, the tree kept at it. Kept striking at them. Kept her giggling.

Tree's leaves swept between her toes and she howled, giving off a lot of her aura. Pure aura, untainted by hesitation. Tree liked that. Left it's leaves between those toes, raking back and forth. Kept her howling like a wolf at the moon.

Then the tree got tired of fighting with her soles, tired of trying to find them whenever they scurried off. Used those leaves between her toes to wrap them nice and tight, pulled 'em away. Girl couldn't wiggle her feet anymore. No ma'am, she had to just sit there and let the tree brush those soles 'til it filled that century old hole.

She came back the next morning, barefoot but with apples. Left again later that afternoon for more, still barefoot. After all, she said, y'gotta eat.

 

[Featherdemon]

Its short but you have a great use of language and it certainly snagged my attention. Good work.

 

[TSlice5Life]

A pretty good short story, I must say. Really kept it entertaining with the narration type.

 

[ElFewja]

Phew, I'm glad you guys liked the narration style 😱. I've been trying to get it down and this was the only time it ever seemed to actually work. So that's good, thanks~

 

[JonesyJones]

Short, but sweet, and I especially enjoyed the bit about the leaves between lee's toes. Very nice. The narrative style was also quite interesting and I enjoyed the country twang the speaker seemed to exude.

Did notice a typo (it's when you meant its), but still good stuff. I'm not usually fond of shorter works, but sometimes they paradoxically require more effort than longer ones, no?

 

[ElFewja]

Yeah that typo, I always have a bit of trouble with it lol. Thought I corrected them all but I guess I reversed one, or just missed one.

Longer works are easier in that you can do whatever and not feel bad, usually, well unless you're worried about pacing. Shorter stuff is a bit more difficult because you can't be as verbose in sections but doing that without cheating (showing vs telling) is difficult, coupled with the inability to throw in every last detail.

Yeah, I quite like the narrator's voice but I haven't been able to replicate it. Shame, since I was writing this mostly to learn how to do that. Did it well here, at least, so that's good. I can come back to it then.