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Please enjoy this prelude from Tarr2k's "League of Ticklish Ladies."
LEAGUE OF TICKLISH LADIES
It’s the dawn of the twentieth century, but the gods still play games with the fates of men... and ladies.
When college students Dorothy and Jane discovered that their friend, Alice, has disappeared along with the magical silver shoes, they had no idea the adventure they were undertaking. Even with the help of Queen Snow White and Princess Cinderella the ladies find themselves in one ticklish situation after another. Feet, pits, breasts, ribs, nothing is spared during their desperate search. But finding Alice is only half the journey, as an ancient sorceress now plans to use the silver shoes to usurp the balance of power and potentially lead to the greatest war in history. Can this league stop laughing long enough to stop her? From the land behind the looking glass to the subterranean caves of the Morlocks; from the flying city of the Laputans to the underwater vessel of Captain Nemo, to the field of battle between the armies of two pantheons, League of Ticklish Ladies is an epic tale told against the backdrop of classic literature and mythology.
Prelude
The world is always hushed at these moments, as if all creation is huddled in quiet anticipation of the fury to come. No birds sung, no insects chittered, no rodents were making whatever noises they were inclined towards, not even the lemmings who had taken a wrong turn several hundred miles back. Even the air was still, as if hoping not to be noticed.
In the distance came a sound like someone striking a strip of leather the size of a football field across a rock. It came again, then again, a steady rhythm like the heartbeat of anticipation. Over the hilltop, heads came into view, revealing the front rank of an approaching army. They were like no army that walked the Earth. They bore none of the weapons that were standard for this, the dawn of the twentieth century. In fact, they bore no real weapons at all; only nets, ropes, and, oddly enough, large sacks. But what probably was most astounding of all was that this army was myth made flesh... the Amazons.
Although this army was made up entirely of women, there was nothing about their appearance that suggested that it mattered. Their bodies spoke of hard work, tanned and hardened by labors that would exhaust most men. They wore armor that, although outdated, had nothing to do with fashion and everything to do with combat. They wore sandals with leather straps that held just enough armor for protection without sacrificing foot mobility. Their thighs were admittedly bare, but there was nothing sexual about it; the intimidating shin guards, not to mention the matching wrist guards, announced it was due solely to weight issues. They were somewhat protected by a leather skirt reinforced by metal plates. The breastplate was tightly fitted to the torso, gleaming in the sun in a way that can only come from properly daily maintenance. Crowning them were golden helmets with cheek and nose guards that rendered their faces all but invincible. Oddly enough, they bore no shields, but as they bore no weapons, it didn't seem as out of place.
The only thing that could make this odd situation stranger would be the enemy they were prepared to engage. Like themselves, believed to exist only in legends, yet undeniably present and primed for battle. The Valkyries had already moved into formation, their anticipation palatable. Their expressions made it clear that they would just as soon gut you as break into mezzo-soprano.
Like the Amazons, the Valkyrie were not eye candy. Every inch of their outfit was crafted with battle in mind. They wore knee-high iron boots, with a wool-leather blend that extended over the knee and halfway up the thigh. A chain mail skirt hung from their waists, offset by an iron piece that protected the groin and buttocks. The Valkyries' ample breasts were completely contained within cups of fleece-lined iron, held together by leather and overlaid with more chain mail. The leather straps crisscrossed their powerful abdomens and backs for additional protection as well as to hold up the lower armor. Steel gauntlets protected each hand, and tight layers of mail and leather covered the arms up past the elbow. Iron helmets with horns topped it off.
The only sound on the hilltop was leather under strain, as if the women were a coiled spring. At the bottom the Valkyries had formed ranks, each wearing the same expression of serious determination. The shifting mail created a sound like a wind chime in a deep stone pit.
The Amazon captain pulled her sword and pointed with it. The trumpet sounded, and with a scream the army raced down the hill. The Valkyries tensed, but their captain remained silent as the human wave rolled down the hill. It was a different kind of war, and in the face of it, old rules had surrendered to circumstance.
The Amazon's front rank collapsed, quickly followed by the second, as they reached the hidden pit. The Valkyrie captain pointed ahead and screamed "Gang at!" The Valkyries broke into a run at the confused Amazon forces who were trying to sort out the situation. It was just a distraction, but in this war, that was all that was needed. Dozens were caught up in the sacks before the Amazons began fighting back. Chaos reined as the screaming armies mixed together at the front line, vying for control. It was full of the sound of falling bodies, curses, shouts, and...
Laughter?
Two Amazons had knocked over a Valkyrie, and one sat on each outstretched arm. She laughed helplessly as each dug one hand into her armpit while the other hooked a rope around her wrist. Within moments she was helplessly bound. Nearby an Amazon and Valkyrie lay on the ground together in a giggling struggle. The Amazon was kneading an exposed rib, but her sensitive inner thigh was under a merciless attack from her opponent. Finally she was too weak to resist as the northerner held her arm away, never relenting in her attack. She fought futilely as the sack was pulled over her head, but in a moment the string was pulled tight and she was gone.
Across the field small groups repeated the same puzzling scene as the women each tried to pin, bind, or, if all else failed, tickle her opponent into submission. Individual Valkyrie had been overwhelmed, but the confusion of the initial battle had given them momentum. The horn sounded, and the Amazon captain shouted "Anaklètikon! Anaklètikon!" The Amazons turned and sprinted back up the hill as the Valkyries continued to subdue whoever had been unfortunate enough to be grabbed. The Valkyries didn't pursue, however; most of a regiment had been lost a month earlier when pursuing a retreating army into an ambush. The captain ordered her forces to withdraw once the last of the captives was secured, then returned to the command tent. The witch had already prepared the sacred pool.
"Sváva?" said the Valkyrie, Ráogrior, within the pool. "We have received prisoners."
"We have met the enemy," Sváva said, "and they are ours."
"An Amazon lieutenant ranks among the captives," Ráogrior said with approval. "You will receive a special place in the saga when this deed is done."
"To Freyja's glory, m'lady," Sváva replied.
Ráogrior nodded, and the image of Sváva vanished from her pool. The Valkyrie leader turned and left the pool, her armored footsteps almost lost among the sounds of the prisoners in the many dungeons. She turned and pushed a large oak door inward as four Valkyries began locking the struggling lieutenant into a pair of stocks. "I would save your strength, Amazon," she said. "You shall need it."
"By Athena," the woman said defiantly, "I will tell you nothing!"
Ráogrior leaned forward and smiled without a trace of humor. "But Athena has no reach within these walls." Beside her, Brunhilda held up a long, white feather.
Please Note: View the cover art HERE
Product & Ordering Information
http://www.mtjpub.com/enovels/LOTL.html
LEAGUE OF TICKLISH LADIES
It’s the dawn of the twentieth century, but the gods still play games with the fates of men... and ladies.
When college students Dorothy and Jane discovered that their friend, Alice, has disappeared along with the magical silver shoes, they had no idea the adventure they were undertaking. Even with the help of Queen Snow White and Princess Cinderella the ladies find themselves in one ticklish situation after another. Feet, pits, breasts, ribs, nothing is spared during their desperate search. But finding Alice is only half the journey, as an ancient sorceress now plans to use the silver shoes to usurp the balance of power and potentially lead to the greatest war in history. Can this league stop laughing long enough to stop her? From the land behind the looking glass to the subterranean caves of the Morlocks; from the flying city of the Laputans to the underwater vessel of Captain Nemo, to the field of battle between the armies of two pantheons, League of Ticklish Ladies is an epic tale told against the backdrop of classic literature and mythology.
Prelude
The world is always hushed at these moments, as if all creation is huddled in quiet anticipation of the fury to come. No birds sung, no insects chittered, no rodents were making whatever noises they were inclined towards, not even the lemmings who had taken a wrong turn several hundred miles back. Even the air was still, as if hoping not to be noticed.
In the distance came a sound like someone striking a strip of leather the size of a football field across a rock. It came again, then again, a steady rhythm like the heartbeat of anticipation. Over the hilltop, heads came into view, revealing the front rank of an approaching army. They were like no army that walked the Earth. They bore none of the weapons that were standard for this, the dawn of the twentieth century. In fact, they bore no real weapons at all; only nets, ropes, and, oddly enough, large sacks. But what probably was most astounding of all was that this army was myth made flesh... the Amazons.
Although this army was made up entirely of women, there was nothing about their appearance that suggested that it mattered. Their bodies spoke of hard work, tanned and hardened by labors that would exhaust most men. They wore armor that, although outdated, had nothing to do with fashion and everything to do with combat. They wore sandals with leather straps that held just enough armor for protection without sacrificing foot mobility. Their thighs were admittedly bare, but there was nothing sexual about it; the intimidating shin guards, not to mention the matching wrist guards, announced it was due solely to weight issues. They were somewhat protected by a leather skirt reinforced by metal plates. The breastplate was tightly fitted to the torso, gleaming in the sun in a way that can only come from properly daily maintenance. Crowning them were golden helmets with cheek and nose guards that rendered their faces all but invincible. Oddly enough, they bore no shields, but as they bore no weapons, it didn't seem as out of place.
The only thing that could make this odd situation stranger would be the enemy they were prepared to engage. Like themselves, believed to exist only in legends, yet undeniably present and primed for battle. The Valkyries had already moved into formation, their anticipation palatable. Their expressions made it clear that they would just as soon gut you as break into mezzo-soprano.
Like the Amazons, the Valkyrie were not eye candy. Every inch of their outfit was crafted with battle in mind. They wore knee-high iron boots, with a wool-leather blend that extended over the knee and halfway up the thigh. A chain mail skirt hung from their waists, offset by an iron piece that protected the groin and buttocks. The Valkyries' ample breasts were completely contained within cups of fleece-lined iron, held together by leather and overlaid with more chain mail. The leather straps crisscrossed their powerful abdomens and backs for additional protection as well as to hold up the lower armor. Steel gauntlets protected each hand, and tight layers of mail and leather covered the arms up past the elbow. Iron helmets with horns topped it off.
The only sound on the hilltop was leather under strain, as if the women were a coiled spring. At the bottom the Valkyries had formed ranks, each wearing the same expression of serious determination. The shifting mail created a sound like a wind chime in a deep stone pit.
The Amazon captain pulled her sword and pointed with it. The trumpet sounded, and with a scream the army raced down the hill. The Valkyries tensed, but their captain remained silent as the human wave rolled down the hill. It was a different kind of war, and in the face of it, old rules had surrendered to circumstance.
The Amazon's front rank collapsed, quickly followed by the second, as they reached the hidden pit. The Valkyrie captain pointed ahead and screamed "Gang at!" The Valkyries broke into a run at the confused Amazon forces who were trying to sort out the situation. It was just a distraction, but in this war, that was all that was needed. Dozens were caught up in the sacks before the Amazons began fighting back. Chaos reined as the screaming armies mixed together at the front line, vying for control. It was full of the sound of falling bodies, curses, shouts, and...
Laughter?
Two Amazons had knocked over a Valkyrie, and one sat on each outstretched arm. She laughed helplessly as each dug one hand into her armpit while the other hooked a rope around her wrist. Within moments she was helplessly bound. Nearby an Amazon and Valkyrie lay on the ground together in a giggling struggle. The Amazon was kneading an exposed rib, but her sensitive inner thigh was under a merciless attack from her opponent. Finally she was too weak to resist as the northerner held her arm away, never relenting in her attack. She fought futilely as the sack was pulled over her head, but in a moment the string was pulled tight and she was gone.
Across the field small groups repeated the same puzzling scene as the women each tried to pin, bind, or, if all else failed, tickle her opponent into submission. Individual Valkyrie had been overwhelmed, but the confusion of the initial battle had given them momentum. The horn sounded, and the Amazon captain shouted "Anaklètikon! Anaklètikon!" The Amazons turned and sprinted back up the hill as the Valkyries continued to subdue whoever had been unfortunate enough to be grabbed. The Valkyries didn't pursue, however; most of a regiment had been lost a month earlier when pursuing a retreating army into an ambush. The captain ordered her forces to withdraw once the last of the captives was secured, then returned to the command tent. The witch had already prepared the sacred pool.
"Sváva?" said the Valkyrie, Ráogrior, within the pool. "We have received prisoners."
"We have met the enemy," Sváva said, "and they are ours."
"An Amazon lieutenant ranks among the captives," Ráogrior said with approval. "You will receive a special place in the saga when this deed is done."
"To Freyja's glory, m'lady," Sváva replied.
Ráogrior nodded, and the image of Sváva vanished from her pool. The Valkyrie leader turned and left the pool, her armored footsteps almost lost among the sounds of the prisoners in the many dungeons. She turned and pushed a large oak door inward as four Valkyries began locking the struggling lieutenant into a pair of stocks. "I would save your strength, Amazon," she said. "You shall need it."
"By Athena," the woman said defiantly, "I will tell you nothing!"
Ráogrior leaned forward and smiled without a trace of humor. "But Athena has no reach within these walls." Beside her, Brunhilda held up a long, white feather.
Please Note: View the cover art HERE
Product & Ordering Information
http://www.mtjpub.com/enovels/LOTL.html
