'Lees: does pain "break the tickle cycle" for you?

[strtbottomjim]

I've had another opportunity for a 'lee role, this time tied and with a wonderful lady as "main 'ler" with others "helping" 🙂.

Mostly it was very fun. We did belly-down, tied, with her choosing whether I was toweled or not. Wasn't for long 🙂.

One problem though: when she got to my underarms, she just couldn't resist driving long fingernails deep, and I would go from laughing to "OWW OWW OWW!" 😱. Serves me right for playing with BDSM people . Not all her fault though, we had too much rope slack and I was able to instinctively clench arms which drove her fingers in deeper.

Anyways...has anybody else, esp. from a 'lee perspective, noticed this "pain doesn't mix well AT ALL with tickling" thing? I suspected this was the case right from the get-go, at least for me, and this confirmed it in spades. Now I'd like to know if this is common, or "just me" (although I doubt the latter)?

(Lesson #2: gotta tie me better!)

 

[Mimi]

I am DEFINITELY in the same boat you are, fella. Pain kills any and all tickling sensations IMMEDIATELY for me. And I can not be tickled again until the pain dies down. The pain totally off-sets the tickling. It's like my brain is not capable of registering both sensations at the same time.

That's something for Ler's to keep in mind too. Try not to get too rough with the tickling, no matter HOW excited you get. If you hurt your lee, chances are it's gonna kill the momentum, and you'll have to build back up again. Gotta treat em right 😉


Mimi

 

[cloudgazer2k]

pain does not bode well in tickling. i have been around a few females who dug in more than they tickled, or pinched. or they they had real sharp nails that would take off 5 layers of skin off my feet or stomach.

 

[Sunriseticklee]

Ouch!

For me, pain and tickling do NOT go hand and hand. Once I feel pain, I concentrate on dealing with that and shut all tickles out. I become completely unticklish.

That's just me.

By the way, Nest folks, be sure to stretch before you play tickle twister. LOL

Live, Laugh and TICKLE!
Sunriseticklee

 

[strtbottomjim]

Heh. Well at least it ain't just me 🙂.

As to "psychological similarities to BDSM", I'll buy that as far as the "sub/dom relationship" (plus the actual bondage, in most cases 😉). But I think we're different from all other BDSM types in that we get there in a more "friendly, playful fashion". I can speak with some experience, having observed a fairly heavy group BDSM play zone...some of the images I'm still trying to scrub from my poor widdle brain (no, needles don't belong in girlparts!!! Or surrounding a nipple!!! Ahhh!!! 😱).

 

[TicklingDuo]

Even more than pain, I find that ANY kind of contact that doesn't tickling tends to distract me from the tickling itself. Even something as insignificant as someone having a leg against mine or an arm resting across my belly will distract me. I only respond to a light touch (99% of the time). So, even moderately firm tickling tends to do little for me. When it gets rough enough to hurt, I just want out. It's no fun for me.

Ann

 

[strtbottomjim]

Ann: that's interesting, and different from my wiring 🙂. In my case, other non-tickle non-pain touching just adds to the "anticipation" mental factor 'cuz you have no idea if it'll turn INTO a tickle 😛.

Scot: you're almost certainly correct 😀. For that matter, the sheer range of "other stuff" going on was quite interesting.

One bit of puzzlement: there was only one other male sub of any sort. Not that it bothered me, it was just interesting. Vast majority was male dom, female sub. This was in San Francisco. Per others, that's pretty common out here, whereas back east (east coast US, that is) it leans much more female dom, 60% or so?

 

[mysterytic]

Pain can interfer beyond just tickling

Another area that pain can shut down those tickle sensations is in bondage. Bondage equipment must restrain, but be comfortable for the lee. Lack of circulation, rope burns, or just too tight in the wrong area can all become an instant problem. Bondage should be done with respect and consideration for the lee's comfort.

 

[BellaRisa]

I'm always amused when ticklers make distinctions between themselves and the big bad BDSMmer's.

I'd like to add to Scot's comments regarding tickling and BDSM. Like Scot, I'm a member of both the BDSM and the tickling communities, and the spanking community as well. In my experience their similarities far outweigh the differences. Whether it's a tickling gathering, spanking party, or BDSM dungeon affair, you're gonna see bottoms tied up or otherwise restrained, having deliciously heinous things done to their bodies that they enjoy. In all of these situations, bottoms and submissives are giving their power and control over to others, and the intensity of the play depends on the participants and the nature of the scene, not the activity. BDSM doesn't automatically mean pain, nor does tickling neccessarily mean lighthearted. Frankly, I've heard more bloodcurdling shrieks, screams and begging for mercy at at a good tickling gathering than at any BDSM affair I've attended. "Friendly and playful fashion"? Sure, much of the time, but not always, anyone's who's been involved in a decent tk interrogation scene can tell you that. I have a lady friend who loves to have tiny needles placed into the top layer of her skin, in different patterns. She giggles like a maniac throughout the scene because of the adrenaline rush she gets, and everyone near her ends up laughing too because she's infectious. Meanwhile, my friend Gina screams like a banshee if she's even lightly tickled, swearing and begging and threatening murder-I have to be seriously in the mood for borderline non-consensual play to deal with her. Really, the mood of play depends on who's playing and how the scene is set up, be it tickling, spanking or waxplay.

As for the psychology of it, for me there is no difference at the core of it. When I bottom, I'm giving my personal power-my GOD that sounds corny-over to a Top that I trust. Whether the menu consists of tickling, spanking, or a mix of sensations, once the bonds are in place the control is out of my hands. I am at the mercy of this other person, trusting him to take care of me and give me what I need-and a little more. That's the rush, the draw, that keeps me coming back, more than the sensations themselves.

I certainly agree that pain can ruin a tickling session, but I think we need to distinguish between consensual pain-say, a well timed spank or sensual shoulder bite-with unexpected, clumsy kinda pain-too-tight bonds or nails digging too hard. The former can take a session to all new levels, while the latter can make you want to be untied and go home.

Bella 😎

 

[dvnc]

I agree wit' Bella. Simply put - It's all subjective.

Some folks dig pain play. Some don't.

Some dig bondage. Some don't.

Some like hard tickling. Some like it soft.

For better or worse, folks, there's a wide variance in what each person likes and dislikes. It's what your partner digs that matters, quite frankly. If you don't know, you better learn, and quickly, or you're in for a bunch of no-fun. Easier to just ask.

dvnc

 

[Krokus]

Nope

Pain and Tickling.....no way.

 

[Frink]

As a ler I must say that a lee's pain "breaks the cycle" for me too. I've had a few times where because of a certain position or bondage or movement, etc. I've heard an "OWW" and that brings me down from a "ticklers high" FAST. Feelings of enthusiasm are quickly replaced with those of remorse and a desire to attend to any (potential) injuries. It doesn't happen often, but I remember every time an "owwie" has happened in the past. It's one of the reasons I like to be pretty meticulous when it comes to bondage. Too much slack = BAD with a serious struggler. It's just too tough to tickle a moving target! lol

😎

 

[TickledToDeath]

Pain and Tickling definatly do NOT mix.
They conteract each other. Pain takes away from the tickle sensations.
That is why the ticklee should be made as comfortable as possible for and during the tickling.

IF ever you see in a video, for instance, the ticklee is shackled with Metal cuffs, You can damn well bet that it is an ACT, for the struggling against the metal restraints will cause not only pain but injury as well.
Certain other styles of bondage and or positions will also cause discomfort pain and or injury.

The preparation of the LEE is one of the most important things for a fun and safe tickle session.

Anytime a ticklee indicates she/he is in pain, the tickling MUST stop IMMEDIATLY and that situation remedied.

Unless of course your "victim" is INTO pain, you don't want it part of your tickling.

TTD

 

[dvnc]

It's that "Unless" that folks NEED to remember.

People, recall how some folks outside this community respond to our interest. Then consider how someone that's INTO pain will feel, when told by a handful, here, that pain is bad.

For some folks, pain is good. More power to 'em. Everybody has their interest or interests. Some of "us" also dig bondage, pain-play, fire-play, non-consentual play on either side, same-sex play, sexual play, etc. There's no ONE way, here, folks. We're as varied as any other large social group. There's over 3700 of us SIGNED IN here. We all dig one or more aspects of tickling, 'lees included.

Prep well, negotiate, and either learn to be nearly psychic or set safewords, and follow 'em. It's like rock-climbin' - very exciting without safety, but not much fun when ya slip. TTD would know. He's been the 'lee. The man's one of the most resiliant 'lees I've ever seen. If HE'S talkin' safety, then your more delicate, sensitive 'lee NEEDS such, y'know.

dvnc

 

[njjen3953]

Guess what? I am NOT here to promote pain and tickling. LOL
I will say that I do enjoy pain play and even Bastinado followed by tickling. But, when the tickling becomes painful, it no longer tickles. My pain threashold is pretty high and I enjoy the rougher tickling. I even wear my "finger bruises" proudly, but when laughter is interuppted by an "ouch" my lers know that it is too rough.
I have often been with BDSM/Ticklers who have tried to do both at the same time, and I just say my "yellow" safeword, or tell them that it is not working and to pick one or the other.

Play safe,
Jen

 

[strtbottomjim]

Let me just say that when I started this thread, I just wanted to know if my reaction was fairly common. Clearly it is. So from now on, it'll be easier for me to articulate the "no mixing pain and tickles" rule as it should apply to ME.

Kewl. Others may play as they please 🙂.

While I may be strict about "that rule", it's one of only three hard'n'fast rules for me, the other two being "nothing unsterile" and "no male/male penetration" (tickles OK though, anywhere a 'ler wants 😛). I love giving up control over everything else, in a play area I'm comfy in.